Let's start by completing the last part of Question 1: your country of current residence.

Not surprisingly, most of my readers hail from the UK: 69% of them, to be precise. The USA counts for 15%, Europe for 9%, and there were also three Irish readers, two Australians and one lone Canadian. (Hi, asta!) As for Africa, Asia and South America: nichts, nada, nuffink. (Although this might have been different before the end of last week, when my sister returned to the UK after spending several months in the Sudan.)

The comparatively small proportion of US readers (there were 14 in all) comes as no surprise; in fact, I was expecting even fewer. In the early days of the blog, when there were far fewer of us to spread around, quite a lot of Americans came visiting - spurred on by some early support from a few of the better known US gay bloggers of the day. Accordingly, I made a conscious effort to avoid overdoing the unfamiliar Briticisms and obscure pop-cultural references, providing explanations and links whenever they were needed. But as British blogging picked up steam, and more British readers started visiting, so I grew weary of going the extra mile for the Yanks. It just didn't seem worth the effort any longer. And so, gradually, the focus of the blog became more explicitly biased towards the UK.

However, I don't think that's the whole story. Looking at the readership of some of the other long-standing Britblogs, I've noticed a similar diaspora. Consequently, the Atlantic feels wider than ever these days. Is this simply due to the explosion in blogging that has taken place since the autumn of 2001? Or is it also due to other factors - also connected to the events of late 2001 - which have served to alienate us from our American cousins, cooling our natural friendly curiosity and replacing it with an icy - if not downright wary - indifference?

I think you know of what I speak. And don't get me wrong: I'm not proud of this new, subtle, frequently unacknowledged prejudice, which has crept into the mindsets of many Brits of a more "liberal" persuasion over the last three years or so. But I think it's there, and I think we shouldn't be afraid of acknowledging that it's there. Because once we acknowledge it, then maybe we can begin to find new ways of challenging it.

Goodness, but I'm rambling. Where were we?

2. UK readers only: please state your county of current residence (or major city, if applicable). US readers only: please state your state of current residence.

Of the 59 UK readers who replied:

• 17 (29%) live in London.
• 30 (51%) live in the rest of England.
• 11 (19%) live in Scotland.

Just one reader lives in Wales, and there were no readers at all from Northern Ireland.

The percentage of London based readers is strikingly high; even when taken as a percentage of the entire readership, London still racks up 18%. Evidence of Troubled Diva's cosmopolitan, metropolitan au courant-iness, perchance? As for the "local" brigade: the survey unearthed just six people from Nottinghamshire, and one from Derbyshire - further proof that the people who see me the most often in real life are the people least likely to be reading me on a regular basis. (It's a commonly observed phenomenon.)

Other than that, the readership was fairly evenly spread throughout England and Scotland, with a little pocket of support in Lancashire, and notably less support in the South West. In fact, what with this and the absence of Welsh and Northern Irish appeal, there is a distinct Easterly slant to my readership. Nobody ever talks about East/West divides in this country, do they? Well, here's one to chew over...

This strange Easterly bias is further borne out by my American readership, with six readers on the East coast, five in the middle, and just one on the West coast. But then I think we've always been more East Coast hip & edgy than West Coast laid-back & cool.

Sheesh, enough already. Isn't it amazing what you can extrapolate from a bunch of numbers on a spreadsheet, if you put your mind to it? And you thought this was just going to be a geeky stats-fest? Er, so did I. There'll be more results as we get them. Don't go changing!

JonnyB's "Post 8" protest song, now available as an MP3 download, is quite clearly the greatest moment ever in the history of blogging. If you care about the future of the rural postal network, then you owe it to yourself to take a listen. (And if you couldn't give a stuff about the rural postal network, then JonnyB will show you something to make you change your mind...)

I used to do this sort of stuff all the time, you know. Before I had an Internet (and an Excel) to keep my idle fingers busy, that is. These funny little fellas flew out of my pen last Sunday, whilst I was trying to cook up some reviews for the Stylus UK Singles Jukebox. As they have become such a rare occurrence, I thought I'd share...

The Perry Bible Fellowship - A Comic Strip For You. Fantastically well drawn, infinitely varied, and, well... just different. You'll see.

Oh, don't tell me. You've been reading it every week since 2001. Well, it's new to me. Bloody hipsters!

(Via the newishly re-activated My Ace Life, which we welcome back into our all-embracing fold.)

First of all, can I just say a big Thank You to everyone who took the time and trouble to answer the survey. Your efforts have been greatly appreciated.

Secondly, to those of you who were concerned that I might allow the results to influence the future direction of the blog: chill, dudes. That wasn't the purpose of the survey.

So what was the purpose of the survey?, I hear you cry. Idle curiosity, mainly. A chance to obtain some concrete answers to a few questions that have been buzzing around inside my head. An experiment, a novelty, a chance to fuel my Excel addiction, and - who knows? - maybe even a useful piece of research that will uncover a few truths about blogging. But hey, let's not get too meta with our meta, shall we?

(Note to pedants: not all of the percentages will add up to 100%. It's a rounding thing. Not a big deal.)

1. Please supply the following five pieces of information about yourself: your gender, your age, your sexual orientation, your relationship status, your country of current residence.

Of the 92 who replied, 53 were male and 39 were female, revealing a gender split of 58% to 42%. However, looking at the gender divide by sexual orientation, the ratio of straight men and straight women is fairly even, whereas there are far more gay men than lesbians. Conclusion: that I have a fairly even gender balance of straight readers, with an additional gay male readership that skews the stats.

Age-wise, the youngest reader was 18 and the oldest 58. Looking at the age groups in percentage terms:

18-19 - 2%
20-29 - 33%
30-39 - 36%
40-49 - 24%
50-59 - 4%

This indicates a fairly even spread of 20- and 30-somethings, with a drop-off after the age of 40... although looking at my stats in detail, the actual drop-off comes after the age of 43. Which also happens to be my age.

In fact, it turns out that a full 82% of my readers are younger than me. Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Meanwhile, Troubled Diva's appeal to the Saga demographic is minimal to non-existent, and its appeal to senior citizens is completely zero. Must be all that new-fangled pop music.

One curious statistical blip: I've got loads of readers who are 28 years old: 9 of them, or 10% of my readership. I dare say that there are perfectly sound astrological reasons for this.

Now, here comes a surprise: most of my readers are straight men! Who'd have thought that Troubled Diva had so much Bloke Appeal? Speaking as that comparatively rare creature, a gay man with a lot of straight male friends, I find this most heartening. Here's that sexuality breakdown in full:

Straight male - 31 readers.
Straight female - 26 readers.
Gay male - 22.
Lesbian - 4.
Bisexual male - 1.
Bisexual female - 8.
"Pomosexual" female - 1. (I am insufficiently post-modern to work that one out.)

(Although one male reader described himself as "like Eddie Izzard, a lesbian in a man's body", his marital status then gave him away as straight. Nice try, though.)

This makes for a sexuality divide of 63% heterosexual, 27% homosexual and 10% bisexual (all those bisexual women were another surprise). For a supposedly "gay weblog" (if certain blogging awards categories are to be believed), that's a fairly low gay readership. But then again, I don't tend to write much about gay issues, gay politics or the gay scene. Indeed, the overtly "gay" content on this site has probably decreased even over the lifespan of this blog - mainly because my lifestyle has become progressively less "gay" over the past five years or so. If I had been writing Troubled Diva ten years ago, then the story would have been very different (and you probably wouldn't have been able to move for all the sodding rainbow flags).

As for relationship status: 42% are partnered/co-habiting, 30% are single, and just 22% are married. How modern is that? Of the remainder, four are dating, one is engaged, and - thrillingly - one is a "mistress but hoping to be legal in a few years". (Good luck!)

There will be more results later. Many, many, many more. Oh, this is manna for my soul!

As I've more or less reached a statistically significant number of replies (nearly 90 at the last count), I'll be closing my Readership Survey this evening. Full and exhaustive analysis starts tomorrow. Yes, "starts". Come on, you should know me by now.

Also starting tomorrow: Big Blogger 2005. During the course of the next seven weeks, fifteen blogmates (myself included) will be battling to avoid eviction from the Big Blogger house, in what promises to be the best blogging popularity contest EVER. (All the Technorati links in the world won't save you now!)

As Big Blogger has specifically prohibited us from pimping for votes on our own sites, I shan't be saying too much more about the contest on Troubled Diva. Except to say that when it comes to voting time: look into your hearts, and do the right thing. And failing that: I know where you all live.

Finally, unless...

• you're a hardcore "Graphic Novel" geek,
• you have a serious fetish for Hot Chicks With Guns,
• you live your entire life in inverted commas,
• you're not bothered by a dull and poorly paced plot, an almost total lack of sympathetic, well-constructed characters, insane levels of stylised ultra-violence, and the sort of flip, sniggering, all-pervading, "chill dude, it's a homage", adolescent-boys-club amorality which started getting boring not long after Pulp Fiction,
• you're Neil Moviebuff, who maintained a spirited defence of it in the pub last night,

... then don't go and see Sin City. Because all four of us who went to see it on Monday night - myself, K (who walked out), Mish and Alan - thought that it sucked a big one, dude. And if we thought it sucked, then it's only right and proper that you should too. Diversity be damned!

(Stunningly creative and beautiful cinematography, though. I'll grant you that. But a turd in a chocolate box is still a turd.)

THIS SURVEY IS NOW CLOSED. MANY THANKS TO ALL WHO TOOK PART.

For obvious reasons, this is an anonymous survey. Therefore, while answering these questions, I recommend that you REMOVE your name, e-mail address and URL from the comments boxes. And please don't worry: your anonymity will not be compromised in any way.

I'll publish the results of the survey in due course.

Update (1): If the slowness of my comments system is driving you to distraction, and if you're not fussed about revealing your identity to me, then you're welcome to answer the questions by e-mail instead. (I'm mikejla at btinternet dot com.)

Update (2): Alternatively, you may prefer to use this text file, which contains all the questions in one place. You can then either e-mail me the answers to the address above, or leave all the answers in the comments box below.

1. Please supply the following five pieces of information about yourself:

• a) your gender
• b) your age
• c) your sexual orientation
• d) your relationship status
• e) your country of current residence.

2. UK readers only: please state your county of current residence (or major city, if applicable). US readers only: please state your state of current residence.

3. Are you in full-time or part-time employment, or self-employed, or a student, or a quote-unquote "home maker", or retired, or unemployed? (Or something else which I've forgotten about?)

4. Are you reading this from your place of work/study, or from your home, or from a public internet access point?

5. Are you a university graduate? If not, at what stage did you complete your education?

6. Have we ever spoken with each other via private e-mail?

7. Have we ever met each other in real life?

8. Have you ever won a prize on this site?

9. Do you have your own active weblog? ("Active" = at least one entry since January 1st 2005.)

10. Active bloggers only: Have I ever linked to your weblog?

11. Active bloggers only: Have I ever left a comment on your weblog?

12. When did you first start reading Troubled Diva?

13. How did you first find Troubled Diva?

14a. How frequently do you read Troubled Diva?

14b. Long-term readers only: Compared with this time a year ago, do you read the site more frequently, less frequently, or is it about the same?

15. Do you track updates to Troubled Diva using Bloglines, or the Updated UK Weblogs list, or any other RSS reader - or do you just come here on the off-chance that I will have updated?

16. Which of the following statements most closely describes your Troubled Diva reading habits?

• a) I read every word of every post, more or less without fail.
• b) I read most posts, but skip or skim-read the ones which are less interesting to me.
• c) I read less than half of the posts, only picking out the ones that look interesting.

17. Which of the following statements most closely describes your blog-reading habits?

• a) I don't read any weblogs on a regular basis.
• b) Troubled Diva is the only weblog which I read on a regular basis.
• c) I read less than 10 weblogs on a regular basis.
• d) I read between 10 and 25 weblogs on a regular basis.
• e) I read more than 25 weblogs on a regular basis.

18. During the course of 2005, I have written proportionately more about music than in previous years. Speaking purely in terms of your own enjoyment of the site, do you find this a positive or a negative development, or do you not particularly mind either way?

19. Have you ever bought any Troubled Diva merchandise?

20. Have you ever bought a CD as a result of a recommendation on this site? (If so, and if you can remember, then please specify.)

21. Have you ever discovered a blog through this site, which you have then gone on to read regularly? (If so, and if you can remember, then please specify.)

22. Do you have any favourite posts or "moments" on this site? If so, then please name them, up to a maximum of five.

23. Have you ever used the links on my sidebar to read old posts on this site?

24. Excluding the comments boxes: Has Troubled Diva ever made you laugh out loud? Has it ever made you cry? Has it ever made you angry?

25. Do you have any other comments?

In this week's Stylus UK Singles Jukebox, I have deigned to furnish the world with my opinions on just three songs: from JoJo (R&B freeware plug-in?), Saint Etienne (never has "form" been returned to so gloriously) and LCD Soundystem (spare room in six months' time).

Of the remainder, I can recommend the new singles from John Legend (schmaltzy piano ballad, but I can be quite a sentimental old sausage), M83 (shoegazing electronica, heavy on the effects pedals, and ergo a good thing) and Ralph Myerz & The Jack Herren Band (Saint Etienne goes jazzy/funky beach house). I also think that the Stylus panel have been unnecessarily harsh on The Ordinary Boys, and their really rather likeable Madness pastiche.

As someone who likes to start his week with a good chuckle, I was heartened by this morning's Today programme (BBC Radio 4), which included a discussion on the increasingly recognised problem of back pain in the workplace. (Has your office insisted you attend a course on How To Lift Things, called "Manual Handling", even though your job involves lifting nothing heavier than a new pack of A4 paper for the printer? Because ours most certainly has. Insert "nanny state" rant here.)

Eventually, the discussion touched upon Michael Jackson's recent hospital treatment for back pain. Feeling the need to clarify the situation, the "expert" figure on the discussion panel helpfully explained that this would have been caused by stress, rather than by any "manual handling".

As the studio descended into uproar, I once again remembered my favourite Today howler of all time. This occurred around 1996-97, when the gay activist Peter Tatchell was being interviewed by John Humphries about differing attitudes within the gay community regarding what constituted acceptable and/or effective forms of protest. At the time, there was still a lot of controversy surrounding the overtly confrontational media-grabbing stunts of Tatchell's Outrage! organisation, as pitted against the impeccably courteous "softly-softly" lobbying approach of the establishment-friendly Stonewall group. This led Tatchell to suggest that for many British gay men, the distinction was irrrelevant, since only a particular section of the gay community took an interest in gay politics in the first place.

In a dangerous rush of blood to head, Humphries felt a new theory coming on. Unwisely, he then proceeded to launch into it. (And, needless to say, I paraphrase from memory.)

"So, perhaps we could say that the gay population divides into two groups? The "active", and the..."

Long, agonising pause, in which I imagined Tatchell sitting there, imperiously poker-faced, waiting to see how Humphries would dig himself out.

(dismissively, somehwat crossly) "...well, let's not get too bogged down with categories here."

Sadly, they never mention this one on the "blunder" compilations. But I don't forget these things in a hurry.

I spent some of last week hanging out at Zoe's place. These were the results.

1. Troubled Twat, or My Boyfriend Is A Diva.

In which I celebrate K's birthday by decking him out in pistachio and germolene.

2. Popping out for meat.

A gentle country stroll, with carnivorous intent.

3. Quick, Name A Queen Song - The Results.

A predictable reversion to type. (And to think that I originally saw this guest-blogging gig as a chance to stop banging on about pop music the whole time. Ah well, at least I lasted for two whole posts.)

4. Things I Was Going To Tell You About This Week, But Never Got Round To.

Dancing horses, Japanese horror, and the return of Beefheart's boys. (I shall be returning to the dancing horses in the near-ish future.)

You know that spring is ending when you tire of the smell of asparagus in your urine.