The 40 In 40 Days Project.
 

15. The First Time (1979)

Main Index

The Au Pairs
The Step-stepfather
The Simulated Wank
The Toy Store
The First Single
The Queeny Put-Down
The First Hissy Fit
The First Gay Club
The Rent Boy
The Heterosexual Phase
The Lifestyle Switch
The Empty Floor
The First Poem
The Amsterdam Weekend
The First Time
The Perfect Moment
The Year In Berlin
The Trade Years
The First Memory
The Anniversary Party
The Incompetencies
The Pricking Of The Bubble
The Club Residencies
The "Tales of the City" House
The Musical Epiphany
The Worst Thing I Ever Did To Anyone
The Royal Procession
The Parental Disclosure
The Concept Albums
The Romantic Obsession
The Failure
The Apotheosis of Queer
The Shove From Above
The Interrogation
The Professional Rut
The Rebirthday
The First Boyfriend
The "Catharsis Of Joy"
The Funeral Address
The Falling In Love

Chronological Index

troubled diva

Ah, the golden summer of 1979. A-levels were over, and my boarding school in Cambridge turned into a holiday camp for the last few weeks of term. We would spend lunchtimes drinking in The Anchor, and afternoons sunbathing by The Mill, overlooking the punts floating past on the River Cam. For the first time in my five years there, I could honestly say that I was enjoying the place at last.

Tubeway Army’s “Are ‘Friends’ Electric?” was Number One, and for a while it was ubiquitous; every time you walked down the study corridors, you could hear it coming out of someone’s room. In fact, we were in the middle of a golden age for hit singles. Up The Junction, Silly Games, Babylon’s Burning, H.A.P.P.Y. Radio, Girls Talk, Good Times, Sunday Girl, Boogie Wonderland, Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now, We Are Family, Pop Muzik, I Fought The Law, Ring My Bell…what a soundtrack.

Philip (not his real name) was part of our crowd. He was fair, athletic and impossibly handsome without being in the slightest bit aware of it. I’d had a secret crush on him for ages.

Late one night, back from the pub, someone dared us both to strip naked and walk along the first floor study corridor, down the main staircase, and then along the ground floor corridor. Neither of us hesitated for a second. “Shit,” he chuckled as he took his clothes off, “I’ve got a massive stiffy down here.” “Same here,” I mumbled back – relieved I wasn’t the only one. Relieved – and suddenly very curious. We went through with the dare, and collapsed naked and giggling onto his bed. Neither of us seemed in any great hurry to get dressed again. The air seemed to be crackling with something unspoken. It remained unspoken. I went back to my room, head pounding. The crush began to intensify.

A few nights later. We had all got into the general habit of sitting around on each other’s beds with the lights off, smoking crafty late night cigarettes with the windows open. It was quite normal to go into someone’s study and find two people sitting on a bed together in the dark. And on this particular night, after everyone else has disappeared, I am still sitting on Philip’s bed. There’s that crackle in the air again – it’s unmistakeable.

“D’you know what?” Philip’s voice is completely casual, like he’s just had this sudden thought out of the blue. “I wouldn’t mind trying your clothes on. You can try mine on as well, if you like.”

How far could we push this, I wonder, as once again we strip off in front of each other and swap clothes. I already know that there is a massive rip in the seams of Philip’s black trousers, starting from the bottom of the zip, running all the way underneath, and finishing halfway up the seat.

We’re wearing each other’s clothes now. What next? Philip leans over. “Have you noticed how big the rip has got?” he asks. “It goes all the way from here” – he places his index finger at the top of the rip – “to here” – and follows the slit all the way round to the back.

My temples are thumping, my pulse is racing, and I’m starting to shake, visibly. We are on the brink of something here. I have never been this close to the edge before. I hardly dare to hope where this might lead.

“Right, I want them back now”, he says.

I don’t move.

“Oy! I said I wanted them back!”

Pause.

“Are you going to give them to me, or am I going to have to take them back myself?”

Pause.

“Right. I’m going to count to ten, and then I’m taking them back off you. You can’t say you weren’t warned.”

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 - 10.

He lunges forward, grabs my zipper and starts yanking it down, while I start writhing, giggling, and pretending to struggle. He’s laughing away too. It’s happening. It’s really happening.

The trouble is - I haven’t got anything on underneath. And I’m very excited.

Well, I only get caught in the zipper, don’t I? There is a sudden shooting pain. My pantomime cries of “Stop! Stop!” become real. Philip hasn’t noticed my change in tone. He keeps laughing and pulling harder. The pain intensifies. There is blood.

Bit of a passion killer, that.

Of course, blood does play a part in many people’s first sexual experiences. But not usually in this kind of sexual experience. It’s like the cruel punchline to a comic strip. You can almost picture me with a Charlie Brown style zig-zag mouth. Just. My. Luck.

To this day, if you look closely, you can still see the tiny little blemish which this left on me. My mark of shame, no less!

Philip and I still had a few weeks left before the end of term. And yes, we did. Several times. But I can’t pretend that these encounters made me happy. There was a basic inequality between us. He was mucking around because, in an all-male boarding school, there weren’t any other options. But for me, these encounters meant everything. At 17, I was still imbued with a huge romantic idealism. There was still no separation between my sexual needs and my emotional needs. And so I suffered, horribly. I fell madly, hopelessly in love – and I choose my words carefully here.

Of course, I didn’t tell him that. Didn’t want the fun to stop. Not completely stupid, you know. But our mini-fling ultimately caused me far more pain than pleasure, and afforded me precious little useful emotional experience for the future. My first proper boyfriend was still three and a half years away…

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