The 40 In 40 Days Project.
 

17. The Year In Berlin (1983-84)

Main Index

The Au Pairs
The Step-stepfather
The Simulated Wank
The Toy Store
The First Single
The Queeny Put-Down
The First Hissy Fit
The First Gay Club
The Rent Boy
The Heterosexual Phase
The Lifestyle Switch
The Empty Floor
The First Poem
The Amsterdam Weekend
The First Time
The Perfect Moment
The Year In Berlin
The Trade Years
The First Memory
The Anniversary Party
The Incompetencies
The Pricking Of The Bubble
The Club Residencies
The "Tales of the City" House
The Musical Epiphany
The Worst Thing I Ever Did To Anyone
The Royal Procession
The Parental Disclosure
The Concept Albums
The Romantic Obsession
The Failure
The Apotheosis of Queer
The Shove From Above
The Interrogation
The Professional Rut
The Rebirthday
The First Boyfriend
The "Catharsis Of Joy"
The Funeral Address
The Falling In Love

Chronological Index

troubled diva

Three random Berlin memories.

Eins…

To determine how to spend one Saturday night, three of us decide to use the “Dice Man” technique. We choose six courses of action, number them from 1 to 6, roll a dice, and do whatever it tells us. The dice tells us to write a song and busk it in public the following day.

Someone borrows a cheap Casio keyboard and amps it up to a ghetto blaster. None of us knows that much about music – but still, we choose a preset “rock” rhythm, bash out a few chords, scribble some words down, and end up with quite a groovy little song by the end of the night. A groovy and highly political little song…

In Autumn 1983, the Cold War was raging fiercely. The Soviet Union had recently shot down a South Korean plane, and Reagan had just made one of made one of his classic “evil empire” speeches in response. It was a particularly bellicose speech, and living in occupied West Berlin, within a mile of the Wall, it had a particularly scary resonance. We had also been hearing about the alarmingly fierce anti-Russian reaction that was taking place in the US – bars were tipping vodka bottles down the drain, that sort of thing – and it was the speech and the reaction to it which the song satirised. The chorus went: “Make America strong / that’s what they’d welcome the least / pour all your vodka down the drain / who gives a shit about peace?”

So, the next day we take the keyboard, the ghetto blaster and a couple of empty vodka bottles (for mime purposes) down to the Kurfurstendamm – West Berlin’s busiest street – and set up stall outside the Lufthansa building. We sing our little song, which attracts quite a decent crowd and gets applause – and even money. However, I’m not sure to what degree our audience have picked up on the dry, biting sarcasm of the lyric. I have a nasty feeling that they’re taking the song at face value, and are actually applauding our hawkishness. Oh well, that’s showbusiness. The money is nice, anyway.

There is an expectant pause as people wait for our next number. We don’t know any other songs, so we start playing the same one again. It only has four chords, so it doesn’t really bear repeated listening. Our crowd rapidly disperses. We wait a few minutes and then repeat the whole trick all over again. And again. And again. Then slink off and drink our earnings.

Aside from a spirited vocal rendition of “Jilted John” at the village youth club in 1978, accompanied by the village heavy metal band (Electric Phase – mmm!), this is the only time I have ever rocked and rolled in public. Once, I feel, was more than enough.

Zwei...

You didn’t have flatshares in West Berlin. You had “Wohngemeinschaften”, which translates directly as “living communities”. They were founded on the noble ideal of shared communal living, which required active participation from all “Mitbewohner”. The 2001 film Together is a wonderfully accurate satire on the whole phenomenon.

I wasn’t – am not – a terribly “communal” person. Sharing is not my forte – hoarding is. But the only alternative was a lonely bedsit. So, I moved into a WG (pronounced “vay-gay”), as they were known for short, with three female schoolteachers, all around ten years older than me. They had a fairly relaxed, undogmatic attitude to communal living; so as long as I stuck to the cleaning rotas, and remembered to bring back plain yoghurt from the local Karstadt with precisely 3.5% fat, I was OK.

My only major sticking point was bathroom etiquette. None of my flatmates locked the door, but I most certainly did. Until one afternoon when the lock broke, trapping me inside. One of my flatmate’s boyfriends had to smash the lock with something heavy. I was then treated to a finger-wagging lecture about how I’d obviously spent far too much time in my parents’ house, and how I needed to free myself from my obviously very repressed attitude.

Needless to say, the lock was never repaired – so from then on, privacy went out of the window. My flatmates would think nothing of walking in on me, stark naked if you please, while I was sitting on the toilet, and then - rather than apologising and leaving the room – engaging me in conversation as to what I’d got up to the night before. Call me a prude, but I just didn’t like doing a poo in front of naked ladies. Sorry!

The three schoolteachers all moved out, and the lease was taken over by three new people. I alone stayed put. The three newcomers had never lived in a WG before, and so their idealism, as yet undimmed by experience, burnt fierce. I quickly had to adapt to a harsh new regime of “sharing”. Yuck. It didn’t much help that they all turned out to be deeply unpleasant individuals, coupling a seemingly complete incapacity for original thought with a self-righteous, zealous, almost Maoist desire to impose their received doctrines upon others. Oh, and a truly fearsome petty-mindedness, which instantly betrayed their bourgeois roots.

I lasted less than three weeks before being asked to leave, at a specially convened “community meeting”. My evictors told me that this was not an easy decision for them to make. We have tried especially hard to accept you, they explained, “weil du Mitglieder einer unterdruckten Minderheit bist” (because you are a member of an oppressed minority – poof, in other words). I think I was supposed to look impressed at this point.

I moved into a flatshare with a gay theatre company instead. Not as much fun as it sounds. The director of the company (who was also my landlord), after a string of flops, absconded back to West Germany overnight and went into hiding, owing large sums to his unpaid actors. There were articles in the press about it.

Drei...

I don’t wanna be alone, where is my baby? I don’t wanna be alone, where is my man?

“Where Is My Man” by Eartha Kitt. The Berlin gay anthem. For the entire twelve months I was there, you couldn’t escape it. Every bar, from Anderes Ufer to Andreas Kneipe, Movie to Querelle. Every club, from KC to the SchwuZ, Wu-Wu to Trocadero. And every Saturday night at my mecca, the Metropol on Nollendorfplatz.

I want…a millionaire. With a big, big, big, big….yacht. Hur-hur! Who can take me to Monte Car-r-r-rlo. San T-r-r-opez. And eventually….Tiffany’s!

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