The 40 In 40 Days Project.
 

26. The Worst Thing I Ever Did To Anyone (1986)

Main Index

The Au Pairs
The Step-stepfather
The Simulated Wank
The Toy Store
The First Single
The Queeny Put-Down
The First Hissy Fit
The First Gay Club
The Rent Boy
The Heterosexual Phase
The Lifestyle Switch
The Empty Floor
The First Poem
The Amsterdam Weekend
The First Time
The Perfect Moment
The Year In Berlin
The Trade Years
The First Memory
The Anniversary Party
The Incompetencies
The Pricking Of The Bubble
The Club Residencies
The "Tales of the City" House
The Musical Epiphany
The Worst Thing I Ever Did To Anyone
The Royal Procession
The Parental Disclosure
The Concept Albums
The Romantic Obsession
The Failure
The Apotheosis of Queer
The Shove From Above
The Interrogation
The Professional Rut
The Rebirthday
The First Boyfriend
The "Catharsis Of Joy"
The Funeral Address
The Falling In Love

Chronological Index

troubled diva

Writing about my life for this length of time, and in this degree of detail, makes me keenly aware of the total control I am afforded here. In particular, control over the way I choose to present myself to my readers. There is therefore an obvious danger – of presenting a carefully screened image which shows me as wholly good, kind, wise, loving and true.

I am – naturally! – all of these things. But – and I realise this might come as a bit of shock – I too have my faults, just like you. My “something of the night”. My Dark Side. And so – in the interests of balance – I feel it is only right and proper that I share with you the details of The Worst Thing I Ever Did To Anyone.

Spring 1986. I am back in Berlin, spending a few days with Brad (not his real name), an expatriate flight attendant from New York. Brad and I went out together for a couple of months, a couple of years ago. Our relationship swiftly ran its natural course, and finished quite painlessly, thus freeing us up to become good buddies instead. Brad and I made far better buddies than we did lovers; so, not having seen him for a very long time indeed, there is a lot of catching up to do, and we are greatly enjoying each other’s company.

Brad arranges a large dinner party for the Saturday night, and spends hours preparing the food – in particular, a spectacular Beef Wellington which is to be the centrepiece of our meal. His culinary training in International First Class has not been in vain. Most of his guests also work for the airlines, and many have flown in specially to be here tonight. Including Brad’s most recent, but now former, boyfriend – a German flight attendant called…well, let’s call him Max.

I have already heard much about Brad’s tempestuous relationship with Max. Max treated Brad appallingly – deceit, manipulation and general mind games being his particular specialities. But Brad was besotted, and no matter how badly he was treated, kept coming back for more – until, eventually, something snapped. Brad came to his senses, and gave Max his marching orders. They have not seen each other since – until tonight. Max too has flown in specially from London to be here.

Two things quickly strike me about Max. Firstly, he is quite bowel-shakingly obnoxious, in a smugly insidious way. You have the constant feeling that he is playing games with everyone in the room, for his own private amusement. Secondly, he is quite jaw-droppingly sexy. Sexy in that arrogant, knowing kind of way which I would normally find deeply off-putting. But not in this case. I can scarcely take my eyes off him, and observe him throughout the evening with awed fascination.

Brad is not comfortable in Max’s presence. There is a nervous, under-confident edge to him tonight, which is quite uncharacteristic. At one point, in the crowded bar we have repaired to after the meal, he draws me aside and – rather drunk by now, as we all are - quietly offloads his anxieties. “That man possesses me!”, Brad hisses in my ear. I make sympathetic noises, flattered that Brad has chosen me to confide in. I have always been slightly in awe of Brad, with his impeccable New Yorker’s cool, his glamorous international lifestyle and his smart circle of friends.

At one point, Max thinks it would be great sport to reach over, in the middle of the bar, and unzip my jeans in front of the whole group. He does this while staring me straight in the eye, a fixed smile on his face. I stand there and let him do it, staring right back at him without blinking, playing along with his “Who can psych who out first” game. And feeling, despite myself, incredibly excited by this. “You see?” - Brad is hissing in my ear again – “You see what he’s like?

Everyone says goodnight and we all go our separate ways. Max is staying at Brad’s flat tonight, so the three of us go back there together. Max starts quizzing me about my friendship with Brad – firing me questions in quick succession, and barely listening to the answers. So we were lovers, were we? How did it end? Why did it end? Was it upsetting? Who was most upset – him or me? Brad and I form a united front. No-one was upset, we explain - and it was really a blessing in disguise that we split up, because look, we are such good friends now, can’t you tell? No residual bad feelings at all. Isn’t it great when former lovers can behave in such a grown-up fashion with each other? The inference is clear. The implied criticism is perfectly well understood. We both sit there in front of him, slightly smug and slightly triumphant, and very, very drunk. I go to bed in one of the spare rooms, and fall into a deep sleep.

There is a dull thud, and in the darkness, I can feel a huge weight on top of me. Disorientated, I raise my head up and peer ahead. There is someone on top of the bedclothes, leaning over me and talking softly. “Hi there – how are you doing?” Oh my God. It’s Max. He’s stark naked, and he’s beautiful. And he’s reaching under the bedclothes and stroking me. Oh, Christ almighty. He wants me. And oh, do I ever want him. I cannot believe my luck. I smile, and start to reciprocate. Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. This is going to be…so….good….

Max pauses, and takes my hand. Shall we go next door? The bed is bigger there. Sure, whatever. I stand up and he guides me by the hand, through the double doors, and into the adjacent bedroom. I look down at the mattress on the floor. There’s someone else there. It’s Brad.

Max leads me to the bed and guides me down. I am half-asleep, and still drunk, and very, very horny, and completely under his spell. I am quite powerless to resist. And so I lie down with Max, and we resume our canoodling. I am barely aware of Brad’s inert presence next to us.

Maybe thirty seconds later, Brad gets to his feet, and silently slips out of the room. I scarcely register this, or what it means, or what I am getting myself into. We continue canoodling…it feels great…nothing else matters to me now.

It is morning. Broad daylight outside. I am still on the mattress, wrapped around Max, and we appear to be canoodling again. Things gradually proceed to their natural conclusion. Firstly Max’s, and then, a couple of minutes later, my own.

The second – the very split second – that I reach my own conclusion, Max springs apart from me, and jumps out of bed. “Right!”, he commands, briskly. “Coffee!” And looks towards me. I meekly clean up as quickly as I can (so much for a tender post-coital moment, then), and trot off to Brad’s kitchen – piled high with last night’s dirty dishes. I switch the filter machine on, and wait.

Oh dear; something is definitely not right here. The coffee is not pouring into the jug. Instead, it’s seeping over the top of the filter paper, and covering Brad’s work surface and kitchen floor with thick soggy granules. As one of nature’s great incompetents when it comes to anything involving electrical gadgets, I am quite helpless, and do nothing to stop the flow. Besides which, I am badly hungover and disorientated. I find the instant coffee instead, and take a couple of mugs back through to the bedroom, where Max is already fully dressed. His manner, so attentively flirtatious until a few minutes ago, is now one of brisk efficiency – and physical distance. I tell him what’s happened with the coffee machine. He is quite unconcerned (“Ach, who cares!”)

Somewhere at the back of my mind, a vague image of Brad leaving the room has appeared. I begin to feel mildly concerned, and attempt to voice these concerns to Max. You don’t think he might be a bit upset, do you?

“Ach, who cares? He deserves to be!”

I choose not to pursue this line of conversation. Max and I drink our coffee, slightly awkwardly now. My attempts to make further cheerful conversation are all stalled. Max gets up, says that he has to be on his way now (an early afternoon flight back to London), and leaves the flat. He will have been in Berlin for less than twenty-four hours – but his mission will have been fully accomplished, with commendable efficiency. Revenge, you see. With me as the all too willing fall guy.

I am just beginning to process these thoughts, when Brad appears, looking rough. Apparently, he has not slept a wink all night.

Oh, shit. Brad! What have I done? I’ve barged in on him, practically instigated a threesome with him and his ex-boyfriend - who he’s still crazy about - and then stolen his ex-boyfriend right from under his nose. And stayed the whole night with him. And, just to add insult to injury, I’ve even broken his bloody coffee machine! What sort of house guest from hell am I?

I start apologising. Brad is the very model of dignified courtesy. I am not to worry. Max is the one who created the situation. No, he’s fine about it really. No, really – these things happen, right? And I gratefully, guiltily choose to believe him.

Now, there is actually a point here where I could at least start to partially redeem myself. I could help Brad clear up all the mess from last night, couldn’t I? Well, isn’t that what any right thinking person would do right now?

In my case, actually not. Instead, feeling too mortified to stay in the flat a minute longer, I leave Brad to do all the cleaning up, and spend the rest of the day with other friends. In the evening, I return. A meal in a Vietnamese restaurant has been arranged by Brad’s friends, all of whom have been rallying round in my absence. The sole purpose of the evening is to make him feel better. The friends show up. I feel so ashamed of myself that all power of conversation thenceforth leaves me for the rest of the evening. Instead, I trail round with everybody else, maintaining a sullen, silent presence at the end of the table, being spoken to by nobody. Instead of helping to ease the situation, I allow my own self-obsessed feelings of guilt override my duties to a wounded friend. It’s not big, and it’s not clever.

An air of strained courtesy prevails over my last couple of days in Berlin. Brad maintains truly heroic levels of politeness and continued hospitality throughout. We take our leave of each other, fixed smiles upon both our faces. Neither one of us ever makes contact with the other again.

Brad, although you will never read this, may I take this opportunity to offer you my sincerest apologies. From the very bottom of my heart.

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