The 40 In 40 Days Project.
 

39. The Funeral Address (1999)

Main Index

The Au Pairs
The Step-stepfather
The Simulated Wank
The Toy Store
The First Single
The Queeny Put-Down
The First Hissy Fit
The First Gay Club
The Rent Boy
The Heterosexual Phase
The Lifestyle Switch
The Empty Floor
The First Poem
The Amsterdam Weekend
The First Time
The Perfect Moment
The Year In Berlin
The Trade Years
The First Memory
The Anniversary Party
The Incompetencies
The Pricking Of The Bubble
The Club Residencies
The "Tales of the City" House
The Musical Epiphany
The Worst Thing I Ever Did To Anyone
The Royal Procession
The Parental Disclosure
The Concept Albums
The Romantic Obsession
The Failure
The Apotheosis of Queer
The Shove From Above
The Interrogation
The Professional Rut
The Rebirthday
The First Boyfriend
The "Catharsis Of Joy"
The Funeral Address
The Falling In Love

Chronological Index

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Sally G*** – Sally H**** – Sally S***** – Sally H*******. Or to her grandchildren, simply “Darling” – for “Granny” would never do.

None of us here really need reminding too much about the sadnesses in Sally’s life – we remember them all too well. Widowed three times in just over twenty years – with a history of medical difficulties – and with her mobility recently restricted following a bad fall two years ago. But today, I think it’s also important that we remember her with a smile.

I’m not going to attempt to tell the story of her life – but rather to share some of my own memories of Sally with you.

Sally was a true one-off – a unique individual. If she was in the room – you knew it. We’ve all seen her in full flow, holding the room captive with the sheer force of her personality. Outrageous – irreverent – mischievous – and (despite her height) – larger than life. The late D.B., a near neighbour, who often used to see her walking down the village street flanked on either side by her two wolfhounds, even had a poem published about her – its title: Apparition.

As we all know, Sally had a wicked sense of humour. I’m sure we can all think of some great stories, and some great quotes – and I’d love to share some of them with you – but maybe now is not the time. And it’s certainly not the place.

However, I do remember one time when we were on our way to a lunchtime drinks party in the village – rather a smart do, actually. My father came downstairs with a somewhat worried look on his face, and said to me “I can’t believe what she’s wearing – you couldn’t have a word with her, could you?” Then Sally emerged, dressed to kill – in skin tight black leggings, black thigh length PVC stiletto boots, and an outrageous puffa jacket: tight at the waist, with a voluminous gold lamé collar and shoulders out to here. She looked quite magnificent. She stood there, flashed me a big smile, and said to me “Well darling, if Julian Clary can be outrageous – then so can I!

We went to the party, and Sally shone out in the middle of the room, holding forth in her inimitable way. She was her own woman – doing things with her own unique sense of style. I remember everyone who spoke to her that day greeting her with a broad smile – and do you know, I’m sure that in the sea of sensible blazers and pleated skirts, I caught just a few envious glances, from people thinking: I wish I had the nerve to be like that.

Sally’s sense of humour and fun carried her through some difficult times. I remember when we visited her in hospital a couple of years ago following her accident. She was lying there, badly injured, barely able to move, only able to speak in a small croaky whisper, but still cracking outrageous jokes for all she was worth. She never wasted a moment on self-pity. She had the most amazing energy, and will, and strength.

After she returned from hospital, I was on the phone to her one day, arranging a visit up to Blyth to see her. She warned me in advance that the house would be a mess, and so was the garden, as she was no longer able to get around and do everything properly. But when we got there, everything was in order, and the garden had never looked better.

For this was the area in which Sally was most of all her true self. Her home. Firstly at Bridge Farm in C****** with her first husband G, the father of her three children. Then at York House in Blyth, with her second husband, my father J. Then later still with her third husband James, in that all too brief Indian summer of happiness which they both enjoyed.

This – her home – is where you saw a vulnerability to Sally which some were never allowed to spot behind the front which she put up to the outside world. This is also where you saw how utterly capable and practical she was – never more so than in a crisis, when she was unfailingly magnificent.

All my fondest memories of Sally lie here – of seeing her curled up in the evening on a cushion, with her dogs by her side, buried in the latest Dick Francis or Ruth Rendell. Or my favourite image, a scene which was played out so often over the years. We would be sitting together at the living room table, long after lunch had finished, with the plates still not cleared away, still talking hours later – telling each other old stories, even if we’d heard them before, it didn’t matter – and roaring with laughter.

We all have our own memories, our own stories of Sally, and I’m sure I’ll still be talking about her for years to come, regaling my friends with favourite Sally anecdotes.

She’ll be missed most of all by her three children, and by her four grandchildren, upon whom she doted. Our thoughts are with them today.

So. Sally H******* – Sally S***** – Sally H**** – Sally G*** – Sally darling!
None of us here today are in any danger of ever forgetting you.

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