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My freelance writing can now be found at mikeatkinson.wordpress.com.
Recently: VV Brown, Alabama 3, Just Jack, Phantom Band, Frankmusik, Twilight Sad, Slaid Cleaves, Alesha Dixon, Bellowhead, The Unthanks, Dizzee Rascal.
On Thursday September 17th, I danced on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.
Click here to watch, and here to listen. Monday, March 03, 2003
BEST! DECADE! EVAH! (35 points, plus a tiebreak score of 218)
OK, so it's the Seventies, innit?
Right from the first day of polling, the 1970s never dropped below second position. This decade went on to claim no less than four of the winning songs (Free, Elton John, Carly Simon and The Sweet), and only one losing song, from The Strawbs. If I had been a betting man, then I would have put money on the Seventies right from the outset. Although 1973 is generally known as the year of Glam, there were in fact only two examples of the genre in our Top Ten, from Gary Glitter and The Sweet. The shrill charms of Little Jimmy Osmond aside, the rest of the chart is made up of solid, bankable acts: Carly Simon and Elton John at their respective artistic peaks, ELO at the start of their career (and come on, let's be honest: in their day, ELO were bloody great), and a healthy contingent of that frequently forgotten genre: Good Old-fashioned Greatcoat And Faded Denim Hairy Rock (from Free, Focus and Status Quo). A strong week, unquestionably. Coupled with a tie-break selection which included two further classics (from Abba and Althea & Donna), the Seventies could hardly have failed. The pop charts of the 1970s peaked in 1973 and 1974 with Glam (Bowie, Bolan, Sweet, Slade, Wizzard, Mud, Suzi Quatro, Alvin Stardust, Sparks, Cockney Rebel, Mott The Hoople, Queen), before dipping away dramatically between 1975 and 1978 (Leo Sayer, Wings, Hot Chocolate, Boney M, Bay City Rollers, Smokie, David Soul, Rod Stewart, Showaddywaddy). It then took the twin forces of Disco and New Wave to breathe new life back into the charts, from around the middle of 1978 onwards, when Blondie and the Boomtown Rats started to make it big. Nineteen Seventies...you were Magic! You were Supersonic! We salute you. And if you're thinking that maybe your favourite decade didn't get a fair crack of the whip this time round, and if you're wondering whether...then the answer is an emphatic, resounding Yes. I fully intend to do this all over again in twelve months time. Goodnight, pop-pickers. You have spoken loud and clear. So bring on...The Nineteen Seventies! Click here for a stunning 1970s Visual Cavalcade, which has been placed on a separate page in order to spare the agonies of dial-up users. Once again, you might wish to hover your cursors over the images. Labels: whichdecade03
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The Top Ten, and the Bottom Five.
It is of course traditional to prefix the Number One (oh for Christ's sake Mike, we've been waiting ALL BLOODY DAY, will you JUST GET ON WITH IT!) with a chart countdown. And this project will be no exception. Here then are the ten most popular records from the project, in order. I've calculated this by dividing the total number of points scored for each record by the total number of votes cast on the day in question, in order to derive a ratio. Excel is a wonderful thing, is it not?
1. You're So Vain - Carly Simon (The winner by quite some distance, this was voted first by 19 out of 22 voters, with the remaining three voting it second.) 2. Please Please Me - The Beatles 3. Too Shy - Kajagoogoo 4. Lose Yourself - Eminem 5. Ordinary World - Duran Duran 6. Daniel - Elton John 7. Sweet Harmony - The Beloved 8. Wishing Well - Free 9. (steady, Peter!) Gloria (GLORIA!) - Laura Branigan 10. Blockbuster - The Sweet And the bottom five? 46. Loop De Loop - Frankie Vaughan 47. Part Of The Union - The Strawbs 48. Stairway To Heaven - Rolf Harris 49. Stop Living The Lie - David Sneddon 50. Reminisce - Blazin' Squad The next posting will reveal - because obviously, at this stage you still have absolutely no idea - the winning decade. Honest, it will. I promise. Labels: whichdecade03
In second place: The 1980s. (35 points, plus a tiebreak score of 181)
Let's face it: right from the start, we all knew that this poll would be a straight fight between the Seventies and the Eighties - didn't we? This could of course be a natural consequence of the demographic breakdown of my readership, many of whom were at their prime age for pop music consumption during this period. However, I don't think that's the sole reason. The pop charts of 1980s - especially in the first half of the decade - were a place where innovative, cool, startlingly new records frequently ended up, with many artists coming in from the post-punk cold and unashamedly embracing the possibilities of commercial mass appeal. What was great about this period: these people had a broadly "artistic" agenda, which went well beyond a lust for fame for its own sake - they were in more or less full artistic control, with their bewildered record companies frequently struggling to keep up - and they were keen to push the envelope of what was possible in a chart hit.
Which is not to say that this particular Top 10, from February 1983, was a particularly good case in point. Wham!, Tears For Fears, The Belle Stars and Kajagoogoo were all well towards the commercial end of this ethos, although all four acts were - at least for a short time - producing fresh, distinctive pop records. Meanwhile, Fleetwood Mac, Phil Collins and Joe Cocker were all still plodding along, hanging on in there with their airbrushed AOR sound, waiting for the more favourable musical climate which - after Live Aid once again re-drew the musical map - was only just over two years away. For I always thought that Live Aid sounded the death knell for early 80s "new pop", re-introducing as it did the concept of a "rock aristocracy" which punk and new wave had only briefly swept aside. In this poll, 1983 produced two slightly unlikely winners (Phil Collins and Kajagoogoo), and no losers at all - a unique achievement. It also spent most of the 10 days yo-yo-ing for position with the 1970s, on two occasions sharing the top position. Congratulations on coming second, Nineteen Eighties. Let's celebrate your decade's Best Bits visually, shall we? Click here for a stunning 1980s Visual Cavalcade, which has been placed on a separate page in order to spare the agonies of dial-up users. When viewing, you might also care to hover your cursors over the images. Labels: whichdecade03
I thought this might happen...
With only three points separating the bottom three decades, a massive seven point gap now divides them from the top two decades. And guess what? After an incredibly close-run battle, with changes of position taking place right up until the very last vote (***), we have - gasp! - a dead heat. That's right: both the 1970s and the 1980s have managed to accrue exactly 35 points.
You know what that means, don't you? That's right. We go to tie-break. (You see? You see? So I wasn't going OTT barmy on Friday after all, was I? There is always method in my madness.) For the tie break, I shall be aggregating the total points scored by the three singles from each of the two decades. Thus Althea & Donna, Abba and Brotherhood Of Man go head to head with Bros, Kylie Minogue and Tiffany. May the best decade win. Back later. Could this be more exciting?  PLUS  PLUS  -- VERSUS -- 1988:  PLUS  PLUS  (***) In fact, the very last vote came from noodle, who when giving two points to Men At Work, openly admitted that they were "marked down in a desperate bid to prevent the worst decade ever from winning the competition." Controversy right to the very end, eh! Labels: whichdecade03
In third place: The 1960s. (28 points)
 Just as the singles chart of the 1990s enjoyed a clearly identifiable Golden Age (1994 to 1998: the Britpop years), so did the singles chart of the 1960s, from 1964 to 1968. Unfortunately for both decades, our poll was taken from the year before both Golden Ages got underway, during a time when nothing particularly exciting was going on. Indeed, the first four years of the 1960s were a particularly moribund time for the charts, as the world waited for the Beatles, Stones, Motown and Memphis to kick-start the decade.In our 1963 sample, The Beatles' Please Please Me is demonstrably streets ahead of the competition, providing the 1960s with its only winner in ten days. Meanwhile, you were suitably horrified by Frankie Vaughan and Del Shannon to vote them both into last place. Despite this, there were some hidden gems in the 1963 charts, with Maureen Evans, Frank Ifield and Jet Harris & Tony Meehan all attracting a certain level of interest from some quarters. In another year, the 1960s could undoubtedly have given the 1970s and 1980s a serious run for their money. This year, they will have to settle for an honourable third place. Let us now remind ourselves of just a few of their many, many Best Bits. 1960: Only The Lonely - Roy Orbison 1961: On The Rebound - Floyd Cramer 1962: Wonderful Land - The Shadows 1963: She Loves You - The Beatles 1964: Always Something There To Remind Me - Sandie Shaw 1965: Mr. Tambourine Man - The Byrds 1966: Reach Out...I'll Be There - Four Tops 1967: A Whiter Shade Of Pale - Procol Harum 1968: Jumping Jack Flash - Rolling Stones 1969: I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Marvin Gaye Labels: whichdecade03
In fourth place: The 2000s. (27 points)
 The decade of R&B, nu-metal and Reality TV Pop had a rough ride all the way through the contest, being in bottom position on nearly every single day. However, a late surge on Day 10 (courtesy of tATu) proved enough to save it from total defeat. The Noughties provided just one winner (Eminem's Lose Yourself), and was also responsible for the two most unpopular songs in the entire poll: David Sneddon's Stop Living The Lie and Blazin' Squad's Reminisce.In just over three years, the Noughties have as yet done little to distinguish themselves. Perhaps they will go down as the decade in which - at least in terms of the singles charts - the forces of slick commercialism, precision marketing and pre-planned, fixed-term shelf lives finally triumphed against the spirit of innovation, experimentation and rebellion which had burst forth in the mid-fifties with the rock & roll revolution, and which had continued via Merseybeat, Motown, Psychedelia, Funk, Reggae, Glam, Prog, Heavy Metal, Punk, New Wave, Disco, 2-Tone, New Romantic, Hip Hop, Electro, Indie, Goth, House, Acid, Madchester, Garage, Techno, Grunge, Britpop, Trance, Drum & Bass, Big Beat and all points West. Or maybe we're simply making the same mistake that "serious music lovers" (hem hem) have made all the way down the line - of not recognising Classic Pop when it's staring us in the face. For let's not forget that, at the time, the "serious music lovers" all hated Motown, scoffed at Disco, sneered at Abba, laughed at the New Romantics, and would cheerfully have strung Neighbours-era Kylie up from the nearest lamp post. Maybe in ten years time, we'll have canonised Britney, Justin, Christina and S Club 7, fondly viewing them as belonging to a Golden Era of pop, whilst sorrowfully shaking our heads over whatever shiny new breed of fresh-faced popsters is currently holding sway. For now though, the grim truth is staring us in the face: the last two decades have been adjudged the worst ever for pop music. However, before we bid the Noughties farewell, let's take a quick trip through their Best Bits, such as they are. 2000: Stan - Eminem, Pure Shores - All Saints, The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang. 2001: Can't Get You Out Of My Head - Kylie Minogue, Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliott, Don't Stop Movin' - S Club 7. 2002: Freak Like Me - Sugababes, There Goes The Fear - Doves, Lazy - X-Press 2 with David Byrne. 2003: Lose Yourself - Eminem, Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake, All The Things She Said - tATu. Labels: whichdecade03
In fifth place: The 1990s. (25 points)
 Despite an early lead, and two tunes (from The Beloved & Duran Duran) which won the daily vote, the 1990s finally slumped to last position on the very last day of the contest. In fact, the 1990s provided no less than half of our losing tunes - with Rolf Harris, Snap!, East 17, Whitney Houston and 2 Unlimited all limping into fifth place.This was indeed the decade which brought us such horrors as Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams, I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meat Loaf, Please Don't Go - KWS, Mama - Spice Girls, I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy and Spaceman - Babylon Zoo. It was the decade that brought you such luminaries as Roxette, Shed 7, Guru Josh, Beverly Craven, Whigfield, Ocean Colour Scene and Bad Boys Inc. However, the decade was also not without its share of future pop classics. Let's remember them now, as we salute the decade of grunge, superclubs and Britpop. Nineteen Nineties - these were your Best Bits. Thank you and goodbye. 1990: Groove Is In The Heart - Deee-Lite 1991: Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana 1992: Man On The Moon - R.E.M 1993: Go West - Pet Shop Boys 1994: Parklife - Blur 1995: Common People - Pulp 1996: Born Slippy - Underworld 1997: Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve 1998: Music Sounds Better With You - Stardust 1999: Praise You - Fatboy Slim Labels: whichdecade03
Which decade is Tops for Pops? VOTING IS NOW CLOSED.
All five decades are sitting anxiously in our Green Room, waiting for the first of the final eliminations to take place. By the end of today, four of these decades will be going home disappointed, while one of them will be officially declared Best! Decade! Evah!
Obviously, the mood backstage is very tense - although there has been the most marvellous cameraderie between all the decades. Well, all except the Eighties, that is. The "Me Decade" has been keeping noticeably aloof from the proceedings, disappearing into the toilets at regular intervals to re-apply its make-up and re-lacquer its hair. Ah, there are the Sixties, handing round the cocktail snacks. Over there are the Seventies, slumped into bean bags and, er, mellowing out. Meanwhile, the Nineties seem to be hugging everyone and telling them how much they really, really love them, and how these friendships are for life, yeah? Are you looking forward to the results, Nineties? "Yeah, nice one, top one, sorted. We're mad fer it!" And how about you, Noughties? Feeling tense about the first elimination? "Well, at the end of the day, one of us has to go, right? Which is obviously really sad, but those are the rules of the game, and we all knew that we when we came in here, but at the end of the day, it is just a game show, and we're really lucky to have got this far, so..." Yes, thank you Noughties. Love that freshly ironed hair, by the way. My compliments to your stylists. A team of independent adjudicators are now busily checking the results of your voting. As soon as they have finished, we will be announcing the name of the decade in fifth position. See you soon. Labels: whichdecade03
Friday, February 28, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (Interval Act / Tiebreaker)
Every decent song contest needs an Interval Act, doesn't it? And this song contest is no exception. As the final few votes keep trickling steadily in, allow me to offer something to keep you distracted until Monday's results are announced.
Actually, this is slightly more than an Interval Act. There is a strong possibility that on Monday morning, we will be faced with - gasp! - a dead heat, with both the 1970s and 1980s on equal points. In which case, we need a Tiebreaker. As Amanda suggested in one of the comments boxes a few days ago, it might be worth taking a comparative look at the charts from this week in another part of the decade. Maybe five years on, she said. Well, this is precisely what I'm going to do now - at least for the two decades which are in the lead. Thanks for putting the idea in my head, Amanda. It's going to work like this. Here are the Top Three singles from this week in 1978 and 1988, in alternate reverse order. Take a listen to all six using the MP3 provided, and then score them in the normal way. Once again, you have until Sunday night to vote. On Monday, I will add up the total scores for each song. I will then aggregate them to produce two final scores, one for each decade. If needs be - and only if needs be - I will then use this score to decide the eventual winner. Alles klar? Also, los! HERE COME THE TIEBREAKERS! #3 in 1978: Uptown Top Ranking - Althea & Donna. A bouncy little selection, aren't they? Distinctly chirpier and boppier than their counterparts in the earlier part of the decade.#3 in 1988: When Will I Be Famous? - Bros. #2 in 1978: Take A Chance On Me - Abba. #2 in 1988: I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue. #1 in 1978: Figaro - Brotherhood Of Man. #1 in 1988: I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany. Listen to a brief medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. There's an obvious classic here: Abba. The unanimous critical consensus which has grown up around this group in the past ten years or so is astonishing - especially given the way that they were generally dismissed as cheesy lightweights by the self-appointed tastemakers of their day. In fact, is there anybody out there who doesn't love them? If so, then I'd be interested to hear from you. As an obscure Jamaican import, Althea & Donna's single had been played incessantly on the John Peel show for most of the latter half of 1977, before being eventually licensed to a UK independent label. I had taped it off the radio months before it made the charts, and - despite never having been a huge reggae fan - had played it over and over again. Seeing it crossover to daytime radio and the national charts was quite a thrill at the time - like some sort of rare victory for, I dunno, "real" music or something (bear in mind that even in early 1978, the UK singles charts were still dominated by middle-of-the-road pop, the New Wave having yet to make much of a commercial impact). I loved the freshness and cheeky sassiness of the track, as Althea & Donna unselfconsciously bigged themselves up ("see me in my halter-back, see me give ya heart attack"), bringing the phrase "and ting" into the collective consciousness as they did so ("see me in my pants and ting"). A crying shame about the follow-up single, then. The Puppy Dog Song was a reggae-fied version of the "Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails" nursery rhyme, coupled with the one tune that every child can bash out on the piano: the dreaded Chopsticks. Every bit as ghastly as it sounds, it stiffed completely. Althea & Donna presumably got on the next plane back to Jamaica, and were never heard of again. There's little to choose between 1988's two new pop princesses on the block: Tiffany and Kylie Minogue. Like any good music snob, I hated both of these records at the time - and yet now, I find them utterly charming. What is it with music snobs only being able to appreciate good throwaway pop ten years later? And what is it about good throwaway pop that makes it endure in a way that so much other supposedly "quality" music fails to do? After all, who do we celebrate now: Abba or Gerry Rafferty? Kylie and Tiffany, or The Christians and Terence Trent D'Arby? I rest my case. Anyway, Tiffany just edges ahead of Kylie for me, on account of the song. I Think We're Alone Now was already an old favourite of mine - as taped off the John Peel show once again, in its late 1970s version by The Rubinoos (ah, the days of Power Pop!) Tiffany's version does it full justice, in my opinion. Brotherhood Of Man always made me laugh. Having won Eurovision with Save Your Kisses For Me - a song with a cutesy little surprise twist at the end ("even though you're only three - aaah!"), they followed it up with a carbon copy (My Sweet Rosalie) which had, guess what, another cutesy little surprise twist at the end ("the cutest little puppy dog you'll see - aaah!") It didn't do terribly well - thus establishing one of the Golden Rules Of Pop, which Althea & Donna would have done well to heed: never follow up a Number One Smash Hit with a song about a puppy dog. Undaunted, the BOM had a flash of inspiration. Hey - we're two boys and two girls - and we won Eurovision - so let's be Abba! Noticing that Abba had recently gone to Number One with Fernando, the BOM promptly hit back with...Angelo! Ker-ching! O-lay! Never ones to deliberately mess with a winning formula, they then followed it up with...Figaro! Woo-hoo! Port-and-lemons all round! God knows why - and I don't think I want to analyse this too closely - but Figaro sounds appealingly quaint to me now. Perhaps it's because music like this has now slipped off the cultural radar entirely, leaving no trace. Even Radio Two is too hip to play stuff like this now. Not even local radio would touch it. Which makes me feel peculiarly protective towards it all of a sudden. Show a little respect, people - after all, let's not forget that this was voted Single Of The Year by the viewers of the children's TV programme Magpie. (Mind you, just as BOM were a poor imitation of Abba, so Magpie was a poor imitation on Blue Peter. I bet the nice Blue Peter children would have voted for Abba.) Bros, then. Again, like Kajagoogoo, surprisingly bearable in hindsight. But still the worst of the bunch for me. My votes: 1 - Abba. 2 - Althea & Donna. 3 - Tiffany. 4 - Kylie Minogue. 5 - Brotherhood Of Man. 6 - Bros. (I'm giving K the day off, by the way. He has suffered enough.) For one last time, over to you. This could well be the most crucial vote of them all. Choose carefully now... Running totals so far - Interval Act / Tiebreaker. Arrrrgh it all just melded into one horrifying television variety showcase. Had to listen to them twice just to tell most of them apart. (Asta) 1978: Take A Chance On Me - Abba. (96) My first, my last, my everything - Seventies forever! (Steve) how could they ever have been so reviled? now that the students have got bored of liking them "ironically" - see above - the rest of us can swoon in awe at the greatest singles band of all time. (noodle) ...I bought my Dad this for his fiftieth birthday. Also the first (and last!) pop record he ever had! (Gert) Okay, so it's not Dancing Queen. It's still a standout in this group. (Asta) Good, but not their best by a verrry long way. (suebailey) I love them NOW, but this is far from their best. (Junio) Compared to their other work, oddly sterile and lacking any real emotion. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I'm not an Abba lover but then I'm not an Abba hater either, just a bit indifferent. (Amanda) 1978: Uptown Top Ranking - Althea & Donna. (77) Up there with Marshall Hain's Dancin' in the City as one of the best one-hit wonders ever. Still haven't the faintest idea of what they're singing about half the time, but its sheer getting-ready-for-Saturday-night-on-the-town joy is infectious. (Nigel R (the UK one)) listen to the voices!!! bored, sassy, ever-so slightly flat. "we're going out on the pull tonight, and if you don't like it grandad, up yours. and ting." (noodle) It's just top rankin'. (Junio) The Black Box Recorder cover version of Uptown Top Ranking on their first album is well worth a listen – Sarah Nixey's disinterested Home Counties vocals are worth it alone. (Mark) Wonderful track, I feel ashamed I only heard this first on Ch4's "Top one-hit wonders" (Steve) It annoys me, it always has, but at least it has some sort of style. (Stereoboard) 1988: I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany. (69) just a classic, children behaaaaaaaaaave !!! (Pam) I wonder why I used to hate this quite as vehemently as I did... Oh, because I was a miserable Goth. Of course. (suebailey) clearly would have won most of the last 10 days. 4th today because the performance fails to do justice to the song, but still more punk than April Lasagne will ever be in the rest of her shitty 10-minute career. (noodle) Great track, but Tiff'naaay is and always will be a poor man's Cyndi Lauper - nil point from the East London judges. (Steve) Way too tinkly tinkly, but a nice hook. (Junio) Her nothing-special delivery leaves a lot to be desired (the Rubinoos and even Lene Lovitch did it better), but still a great evocative song about two kids trying to get a shag, or, at the very least, a snog and fumble. Oh, to be a teenager again! (Nigel R (the UK one)) Tiffany or Kylie? Kylie or Tiffany? Wait, they're the same decade so it doesn't matter a damn. (Amanda) Better than the recent cover, but Debbie Gibson was so much better. (Gert) I so wanted to like this more, I just can't. (Stereoboard) I hesitated, but when I saw that Gert had voted for a record just because she had bought it for her dad, I knew it would be ok to vote for Tiffany just because she's the only famous person anyone has ever thought I looked like. Obviously this is no longer the case; it was a late-80s hair thing. ('bel) 1988: I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue. (67) Because it makes me think of the French & Saunders mockumentary when the opera singers were intoning, "I Shed Be Sew Lacky ..." (Junio) pete waterman is phil spector and berry gordy rolled into one. except without the killing women thang, obviously. for me, kylie's best period was the "rhythm of love" album, but this comes close. cloth-eared rock bores who hated this at the time will now tell you they've always loved her, even tho she's almost become a parody of herself. (noodle) How little we knew back then - deep in our hearts you'll always be Charlene - this is like Sunny D in muscial form. (Steve) Though I love and adore her unceasingly, she's trying so hard here not to sound Australian, she sounds almost Home Counties. (suebailey) Sweeps you up into its merry-go-round ride of pure, simple, unpretentious, cheeky Pop, which has absolutely nothing to say and simply won't let you go. Utter nonsense and I love it to death. See you grinning out there on the dancefloor. (Nigel R (the UK one)) 1978: Figaro - Brotherhood Of Man. (45) MAN, this funks - very Boney M (Steve) I have to have to put this top as it was the very first pop record I ever bought with 69p of my 10th birthday money - and this is the first of the entire selection I have had to put the volume up! In fact of the 56, this is definitely the best. (Gert) I have no shame. I like them better than Abba. (suebailey) As this kind of drossy pop goes, this goes decently enough. And I'm sure it was an Abba hommage not a rip-off. (Junio) Surely this is BOM self-parodying themselves imitating Abba. There's a good reason that it has been banished from the airwaves. (Stereoboard) Slime. Slime. Slime. Probably went down a storm with the package tours in the Benny Hill bar in Majorca. Possibly the worst song ever chosen for the Top of the Pops project. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I definitely don't like second-rate Abba especially with an oompa beat. (Amanda) 1988: When Will I Be Famous? - Bros. (45) So this is what Bros sound like. Like girls? (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) (Junio) i liked bros "ironically" at the time, which means not liking them at all really, doesn't it? now, after the horror that was one true voice, we can recognise bros for the talented pop monkeys that they were. not as good as brother beyond. (noodle) Wanted to hate this, but it's aged suprisingly well - compared to current boyband efforts, the brothers Goss sound quite refreshing. (Steve) Who would have thought it? They're just marvellous. (suebailey) How I sniggered at them, never realising they actualy made a couple of excellent chart records. And who'd've thought an anthem for the consumer Eighties, would be so uncomfortably relevant to the Reality-TV Noughties? (Nigel R (the UK one)) Is there really a line in there that goes, 'You've read Karl Marx...'? (Amanda) Their best song, in my opinion, but...I remember walking past the Royal Concert Hall one night when they had just finished a gig. It was the scariest experience of my life seeing all those teenage girls (I was a smug twenty-year-old). Me and my friends had to find the nearest pub to get a drink to settle our nerves. (Gert) *hangs head in shame* I used to be a Brosette. I also had a perm at the time. (Tinka) I was once mistaken for Matt y'know (from behind, in the dark). (Stereoboard) Labels: whichdecade03
Thursday, February 27, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (10/10)
Here we are at last then, folks. I've got my best bib and tucker on today, to mark the shattering climax of the project. It's been a long and crazy journey, hasn't it? From the sublime (Carly Simon) to the ridiculous (Blazin' Squad) and all points in between. We've sighed, we've swooned, we've squirmed - we've squirmed again - and we've squirmed again. My, but we've had to wade through some shit. 'Twas ever thus.
But now, weary travellers, the end of our journey is finally looming into view. [lights down - dramatic pause - soft drumroll in background] Yes - [adopts Davina-esque shriek] - ITSTHENUMBERONES! 1963: Diamonds - Jet Harris & Tony Meehan. For me, the battle here was between Jet Harris & Tony Meehan (formerly of The Shadows), which I had never heard before and instantly fell in love with (oh, that ger-oovy Tijuana brass break!) and The Sweet, which I have loved since boyhood (oh, that siren - that riff - that "We just haven't got a clue what to do" psuedo-campness!). Objectivity can be hard to muster at times like these. In fact, even as I'm typing this I'm wavering again, as both tunes crash around inside my cranium in an unholy soundclash medley. 1973: Blockbuster - The Sweet. 1983: Down Under - Men At Work. 1993: No Limit - 2 Unlimited. 2003: All The Things She Said - tATu. Listen to a brief medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. It's got to be The Sweet, though. For the riff alone. One of the early 70s classic riffs, right up there with The Jean Genie, School's Out, Rebel Rebel, Smoke On The Water, Caroline, Get It On...ooh, it was the era of the riff alright. But if you, like me, hadn't heard it before, then do give Diamonds a fair crack of the whip. Better than The Shadows, I would venture to say. Until last Friday's Top Of The Pops, I had been fairly resistant to tATu's alleged charms. Cynically manufactured pseudo-lesbo-softcore-wankerama, right? All I could hear was a steely harshness. Was this really, with its Trevor Horn production and the attendant media hoo-hah, the Noughties version of Frankie Goes To Hollywood's Relax? And did tATu actually have any say at all in what they were doing? Their TV performance changed my mind. Goodness, no pseudo-lesbo-softcore-wankerama at all! Instead, a playful, knowing insouciance which, goshdammit, almost had me convinced that they were a real life couple (but of course, this being Pop, whether they are or not is supremely irrelevant). In turn, the artful dynamics of All The Things She Said finally fell into place for me - in particular, the rushed, slightly strained urgency. Now I get it. And yes, it is a classic pop moment after all. There was a similar tussle between Men At Work and 2 Unlimited for last place - although in all honesty, I can cheerfully live with both. Men At Work strike me as a bunch of amiable beer-swilling Aussies who accidentally struck gold, and who probably enjoyed it while it lasted - and hey, it's a catchy tune, which reminds me of some pleasant times. Meanwhile, No Limits never fails to make me smile these days. I hated it at the time - but having since been right through the invigorating-yet-enervating mangle of hardcore-techno-nu-energy-hard-house-boshin-bangin-hardbagging-boom-boom-thwackery and out again, I am now inclined to view it with rather more fondness than before. Like The Ramones, its the very dumbness that appeals. However - and crucially - unlike The Ramones, this is more by accident than design. By any objective measure, it's really not very good at all, is it? Still, the "techno techno techno techno" bit (sadly not featured on this medley) is another classic pop moment all of its own. My votes: 1 - The Sweet. 2 - Jet Harris & Tony Meehan. 3 - tATu. 4 - Men At Work. 5 - 2 Unlimited. K's votes are in the comments. Over to you. The 1980s have suddenly surged ahead of the 1970s, with the 1960s climbing back into third position. Meanwhile, things aren't looking too good for the most recent two decades. Were the whinging old gits right all along, then? Is pop music really not as good as it used to be? This is your last chance to make that judgement. Running totals so far - Number 1s. 1973: Blockbuster - The Sweet. (108) best! riff!! EVAH!!! (noodle) The image was a bunch of straight-ish blokes, flouncing a ride on the glam-rock bandwagon and mincing it to the max. It shouldn't have - but it did - hide the fact they made some bloody good, high-heel-stomping, 45s. And anyone with the nerve to come up with: "He'll come from behind/ You'll go out of your mind" gets my vote. (Nigel R (the UK one)) From my boyhood too, excellent stuff and wow was that "pseudo-campness" risque to me as a twelve year old boy. Weren't the Sweet the first of many to benefit from the excellent Nicky Chinn & Mike Chapman? To be followed by Mud, Suzi Quatro, Smokey, Smokie and even I think (sadly) Racey. Stock Aitken & Waterman of their day weren't they. (Nic) If this track doesn't make you want to rush out and buy a silver jumpsuit, you have no soul. (Steve) Best Song Evah! [Look, if the Readers Wifes can end each Duckie by shouting "the best song ever" and then playing a different song each time, I can do it in your comment box.] (David) I can't believe Blockbuster hasn't used this to push their G-rated video stores. All I really remember about The Sweet is that they were so blond! (Junio) This makes number two mostly for the aa - aaaaah bit over the Jean Genie riff. (Amanda) Manages to be trash and good - quite an achievement. (Gert) I have to admit, I'm not that fond. One of the weaker glam hits. (Stereoboard) 2003: All The Things She Said - tATu. (80) Trevor Horn hasn't sounded so good since Dollar. (I'm serious, I love Dollar!) Completely worthy of five points. (Elisabeth) Totally convinced by the TOTP performance. Trev gets it right again! (Nic) Ah, of course, these are the lesbian nymphettes, aren't they? Oh, they sing too, do they? Gosh, The Sun never told me that. Another case of image getting in the way of the music. Great production, pretty good song, but the titillating little-girl voices ruin it for me. (Nigel R (the UK one)) i'm giving up alcohol, so i'll probably never enjoy this again as it should be heard, i.e. wazzed and lonely in yet another bad niteclub. the vocals are a bit weak tho, aren't they? (noodle) This is the first time I've actually heard this song. Quite good, innit? Is there a club mix? (Junio) I have managed to avoid this so far. I don't get it - are you sure this is the right track? Sounds like a crappy Natalie Imbroglio ripoff...I can imagine the video - I bet they look fashionably sullen in it don't they? (Steve) uppercase/lowercase annoyances aside, I like the song, but I suspect those baby voices will get old on me fast. (Asta) I don't like those shrill girly voices. (Amanda) I haven't actually heard this song before - quite an achievement. (Gert) 1963: Diamonds - Jet Harris & Tony Meehan. (76) This is fantastic. Undiscovered, gorgeous and a worthy number one of number ones. I feel a purchase coming on. (Stereoboard) Pretty damn Secret-agent-toptastic, even though it sounds like Tarantino would r@pe it given half a chance. (Steve) A new one to me. Instantly reminded me of all those "trying hard to be cool" B-Hollywood movies of the time that are only worth watching for the sets, clothing and the music. (Asta) Sorry, I have an aversion to Ver Shads, though I do like the Benny Hill horn bit. (David) Was Jet Harris any relation to Jet Black? (Junio) Classic and totally forgettable - quite an achievement. (Gert) Can they out-Hank-Marvin Hank Marvin? I don't think so. (Amanda) Reminds me of childhood summers at Butlins Holiday Camp in Pwhelli. Mike, you deserve all our sympathy. Being born on the day this was Number One, proves, beyond any doubt, that you are a very Troubled Diva indeed. (Nigel R (the UK one)) (Mike adds: I wasn't! I've just turned 41. On the day that I was born, Cliff Richard was at Number One with "The Young Ones".) 1983: Down Under - Men At Work. (75) Drunken, unpretentious, effective singalong by a bunch of good-natured blokes, taking the piss out of themselves and everyone else. It makes me smile. I love Aussies. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I really want a steak now. (This is the jingle for a chain of Australian-themed restaurants over here.) (Junio) Look as far as I'm concerned it's the least worst. I do live in Australia but I've got no particular attachment to this song (probably because I didn't live in Australia when it was released.) (Amanda) loveably crap geezer-reggae. immortalised vegemite sandwiches. marked down in desperate bid to prevent the worst decade ever from winning the competition. (noodle) Used to like this a lot, but it sounds a bit duff now. (David) An 80s number that fails either to be entirely naff or to evoke any memories - quite an achievement. (Gert) Beer & watered down reggae. Urk. (Stereoboard) 1993: No Limit - 2 Unlimited. (66) come on! it's 2 unlimited! how seminal is this!?! actually i was surprised at how chugging this is. i remember it being about 80bpm faster. although in the early 90s i was also far too partial to the stuff that came in little yellow-wrappered bottles, so that might explain it. (noodle) Hated it then, dance-music aficionado (tosser) that I was. A track with Vocals? And at Number One, my Dears? Oh, how terribly Joe-Public. Still don't like the vocals, but it’s got a great infectious hands-in-the-air bounciness which I now can't help but smile at. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Get very drunk and listen to this at home. FAB! Euro dance, when done properly, can be some of the most exciting pop music around. (Elisabeth) TechnoTechnoTechnoTechnoNotice. Has anyone got the brilliant Q interview [I think it was in their 50th anniversary special - or 25th or something] with 2Unlimited, where they tried to analyse the negative aspects of the song? Please dig it out - it's hilarious. (David) Different from anything else we've had. Good when you're in the mood for a bit of banging, terrible otherwise. (Amanda) Pass the poppers. (Wait, this is from 1993? OK, no poppers then.) (Junio) this one still annoys after all these years (Douglas) However bad this is, it is rightfully immortalised. I've said it before - the nineties backlash started here - the decade where taste didn't give a shit. (Steve) A 90s song I could sing before the MP3 came on. And memorable - quite an achievement. (Gert) Fascinating stuff. Looks like mid-February has always been a lax period for quality singles. Or are all hit singles, by definition, a turgid pile of putrid toss. Nope, I can't allow myself to believe that. There's too much at stake.... (djg) This whole project brought back memories of the last period before lunch on Tuesdays. One memorable year (probably 1973, actually), we had Latin that period, taught by a very old and very deaf old geezer. The class was held in a funny underground classroom called the "Undercroft." I used to listen to the chart show during the class and shout out the news to my music-loving pals. Haven't thought about that for years. Thanks, Mike! (Junio) Decade scores so far (after 7 days). 1 (1) The 1980s (33) -- Prince! Morrissey! Bruce Springsteen! 2 (1) The 1970s (30) -- Elton John! Karen Carpenter! Johnny Rotten! 3 (4) The 1960s (25) -- Jimi Hendrix! Otis Redding! Dusty Springfield! 4 (3) The 1990s (24) -- Kurt Cobain! Bjork! Michael Stipe! 5 (5) The 2000s (23) -- Eminem! Missy Elliott! Britney Spears! Labels: whichdecade03
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (9/10)
It was getting really good for a while back there, wasn't it? Too good to last, though.
Just two more days to go then, and here come the Number Twos. I've been dreading this. 1963: The Wayward Wind - Frank Ifield. Let's get Gary Glitter out of the way first, shall we? Ten years ago, I would probably have been chuckling indulgently, and giving him the five points without a second thought. But now that we know what we know about the man, is it still at all possible to derive any enjoyment from his records? Before listening to this track, I told myself to try and view it as a collective effort, and not just as the work of one man. I told myself to leave Glitter's crimes out of the equation, and to make a strictly objective assessment. Maybe with a different record (Rock And Roll Part 2 for example), this might have been possible. But oh deary deary me, out of all the songs that could have come up, did it have to be this one? Listening to Glitter's lewd barking now, I find that what I once viewed as harmless comic bawdyness now comes across as grotesque, disturbing, and difficult to endure. 1973: Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) - Gary Glitter. 1983: Too Shy - Kajagoogoo. 1993: I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston. 2003: I Can't Break Down - Sinead Quinn. Listen (oh, but I insist!) to a brief medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. As for Whitney Houston - yes, the vocal gymnastics are technically impressive, but I don't buy her ludicrously overblown, bombastic mis-interpretation of Dolly Parton's tender, vulnerable classic for one moment. It was never supposed to be sung this way. Ghastly stuff. Sinead "runner up in Fame Academy" Quinn's effort is the sound of grim careerism, of please please make me famous, of let's mint some dosh out of this while we still can. Despite a deftly crafted chorus, this remains a bleak, joyless, soulless experience. At times like these, I despair. Which means that Frank Ifield's piece of daft old hokum rises up, as if in a vacuum, to be my second favourite from this woeful selection. Well arranged, with a widescreen cinematic atmosphere that suits the song. I'm imagining him riding out of town on horseback, cheroot clamped between his teeth, never to return, as the camera pans back to reveal his jilted lady love still standing there in the middle of Main Street, clutching their infant to her heaving bosom. Or something like that, anyway. I can't believe that I'm actually giving the five points to Kajagoogoo - but to my surprise, Too Shy has worn rather well. It's sorta jazz-funky, innit? Mmm, syncopated! Like it! My votes: 1 - Kajagoogoo. 2 - Frank Ifield. 3 - Sinead Quinn. 4 - Whitney Houston. 5 - Gary Glitter. K's votes are in the comments. Over to you. The Seventies and Eighties are now starting to pull clear of the rest of the field. Are you all going to reveal yourselves as Whitney fans, dragging the Nineties back into contention? Or will the might of the Googoo send the Eighties shooting into the lead? The endgame approaches... Running totals so far - Number 2s. 1983: Too Shy - Kajagoogoo. (118) Limahl was obsessed with anagrams - Kajagoogoo is an anagram of "Oak a Jog Goo", an old folk song taught to him by his Grandmother. (Steve) i've just realised it rips off "angel eyes" by roxy music. which obviously makes it ace (noodle) Love the song and used to lust after the lead singer. (Matty) Out of all my confessional webloggings, this is the deepest thing i have ever told anyone. Limahl was the first popstar I ever fell in love with. I would therefore like to give all the points to Kajagoogoo, but I know my vote will be disqualified if I do. ('bel) another one for the "I used to fancy Limahl list please." (suebailey) I feel my Maths homework book as I hear this. (Gert) Loved it when it came out, but kept quiet because I would have lost my friends. So twenty years later, close your eyes, forget the sartorially-challenged pretty-boy poster-images, and listen to the music. See? Classic Teenage Pop. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Oh sweet baby J, I just preferred Kajagoogoo to any other song on a list. (Stereoboard) This is the type of record that caused me to stop taking an interest in chart pop in the eighties. Pseudo soul feel and odd melodic transitions. (Amanda) 1963: The Wayward Wind - Frank Ifield. (84) Coincidentally, his real name was Alfred Ifink - an anagram of Frank Ifield. (Steve) Sorry. Can't help myself. Always loved cowboy songs. Always will. (Nigel R (the UK one)) although not as great as "i remember you", everything the man's golden tonsils caress is utter genius. one day frank will record an album of will oldham covers and i will die of sheer joy (noodle) sounds about ten years after its time (Gert) Amazing how far into the '60s music that sounds like the '50s goes, though I rather like the country sound here. (suebailey) Frank was big with Ma and Pa Junio. What's the betting this shows up in the next Austin Powers accompanying a fart joke? (Junio) Makes me want to be a cowboy. (Stereoboard) 2003: I Can't Break Down - Sinead Quinn. (77) Sinead is actually the great-great-great grand-daughter of the real Dr. Quinn, Medicine woman. (Steve) pleasant enough (Douglas) too gorgeous (Pam) Hey, it's not bad, at all. Quite possibly the second best solo Irish female singer since Dana Provincial. (Gert) against any other opposition, this written-by-committee pish would be number 5. she looks like a bemused cat (noodle) headed for one-hit-wonderland... I hope and pray. (Asta) "I know I can handle this." Sorry, love, but I can't. Hope you've got a day job to go back to. (Nigel R (the UK one)) words cannot express how bad this is. (suebailey) She sounds like she needs her adenoids out. (Junio) 1973: Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) - Gary Glitter. (64) This song was an integral part of being at junior school, along with footy in the playground and wearing shorts in the cold. (Stereoboard) I liked Gary Glitter when I was a gel; had photos of GG cut from Jackie affixed to my wardrobe, even, but this sounds pretty bloody dreadful now. (Junio) ...his crimes don't make me dislike the music he produced. (David) I'm sorry, but I liked it at the time, and it's not so bad now, despite the evilness of the man. (Gert) he may be a sad twat, but the glitter band rocked like a juggernaut full of depleted uranium tearing through a country village (noodle) I know it's easy now to say 'I never liked him' but the fact is - I never liked him - I wasn't immune to the charms of the Glitter Band stomp but I was totally put off by the meglomaniac stage act. (Amanda) Even without hindsight, dodgy beyond belief, and one of his worst songs. After the exuberance of Rock 'n' Roll (Parts 1 & 2), and even I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am), he morphed into a leering, lascivious, camp joke. Oh, and how we loved him for it, for so many years.. (Nigel R (the UK one)) 1993: I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston. (62) My dislike for her singing turned to aversion after she was on continuous rotation (every 15 minutes) on the only radio station available while we were honeymooning several years ago. (Asta) Look Whitney, it's nice to know you love me but do you have to bellow? (Amanda) ...proving once again that belting out "I... love you" over and over again *does* sell. (Luca) cliche-abounding yuckiness (Gert) currently on continuous rotation in hell (noodle) Shut it. Now. (David) When you're heart-broken, to the point you're actually quite enjoying it, shameless wallowing in this track is understandable. Ten years on, you finally see it for what it is: an insincere, self-promoting, over-indulgent, flaccid, fifth-rate imitation of the Real Thing. Bit like the one who broke your heart in the first place, really. (Nigel R (the UK one)) You made me listen to Whitney Houston. I'll remember this. (Stereoboard) Dolly's version is much better for my money, but even if Whitney's version is overblown--and oh, my dear, it is--it's still a belting single. (Junio) Decade scores so far (after 7 days). 1= (1) The 1970s (28) -- Medallion men! Bra-burning libbers! Shut that door! 1= (2) The 1980s (28) -- Red Wedge! Nouvelle cuisine! There is no such thing as society! 3 (3) The 1990s (23) -- Monica Lewinsky! Black Wednesday! I'd like to be a queen of people's hearts! 4 (5) The 1960s (21) -- Grosvenor Square! Arts labs! I have a dream! 5 (4) The 2000s (20) -- Ring tones! Retro-modern wenge sideboards! I love blinking, I do! Labels: whichdecade03
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (8/10)
Another strong selection today, as we reach Day 8 of the project and the Number Threes.
Enjoy it while it lasts, though. That's all I'm saying for now. You'll see soon enough. 1963: Please Please Me - The Beatles. Listening to the Top 10 for 1963 thus far, you might have formed the reasonable conclusion that, even in the fourth year of the decade, the Sixties hadn't really started happening yet. Kenny Ball keeping it trad, dad. The high-kicking Frankie Vaughan, with his hammy old variety act. Brenda Lee, Mike Berry, Maureen Evans and Cliff Richard, all sweetly crooning away on Tin Pan Alley. Del Shannon, representing the tired fag end of Fifties rock and roll. 1973: Part Of The Union - The Strawbs. 1983: Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant. 1993: Little Bird - Annie Lennox. 2003: Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake. Listen to a brief medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. And now - crashing right into the middle of all this staleness, and blowing it right out of the water in one fell swoop - nothing less than the sound of the future. The Beatles, with their first major hit, Please Please Me, sounding so advanced by comparison that they come across as positively alien. Everything feels different here: rhythms, harmonies, arrangements, the unpredictable melodic twists and turns, and the sheer youthful energy and urgency on display. The Sixties had finally started. While admiring her immensely as a vocalist, and especially as a performer, there was still always something about Annie Lennox which kept me at bay. Maybe it was all the stuff which surrounded her. Her marketing. Her ubiquity. Her positioning within the self-congratulatory aristocracy of rock. Those Brit awards every single goddam year. Her essential safeness. Those sometimes dodgy Eurythmics albums. Dave Stewart. However, I couldn't deny that she had her moments. Walking On Broken Glass was one of them - and for me, Little Bird was the other. You could keep all those ponderous, glacial ballads on the Diva album - I liked Annie Lennox best when she was at her most obviously Pop. And this is a right belter of a pop record, containing so many progressions that I found it impossible to limit this excerpt on the accompanying MP3 to just one minute. The accompanying 12" remixes were great as well - especially the Todd Terry mix, which soundtracked plenty of top nights out in our scuzzy local gay club. Justin Timberlake is, of course, pop's current Golden Boy. The former boy band member who - in true Robbie Williams style - has taken control of his career, gaining ever-soaring popularity amongst The Kids, and even the beginnings of critical acceptance from the Grown-Ups. In the latter respect, that recent Top Of The Pops appearance with the Flaming Lips certainly didn't do him any harm. Neither did enlisting the services of the hip-hop guru Timbaland on this track (he's the man who gave us such ground-breaking tracks as Missy Elliott's Get Ur Freak On and Aaliyah's Try Again). There is a crisp, vibrant freshness here. We all love Justin now, don't we? Don't we? The last time that Eddy Grant's Electric Avenue was in the charts - in remixed form, a couple of years ago - we had all just switched offices, to a bleak site in the middle of a semi-industrial wasteland on the edge of the city. No nearby pubs, no nice shops (unless you counted the carpet warehouse and the DIY superstore), nowhere to go at lunchtime (unless you counted the nearby Harry Ramsdens fish and chip emporium). For a committed urbanite such as myself, the culture shock was severe. And what was the name of the windswept, anonymous piece of landscaped tarmac which led up to our new offices? You've guessed it. Electric Sodding Avenue. Every day as I walked past the street sign in those first few weeks, Eddy Grant's voice would start reverberating mockingly in my head. "We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher..." I used to have a certain fondness for this track. Now, it is forever tainted with memories of my bleak daily half-hour trudge. Which is a crying shame. I never knew what to make of Part Of The Union, which was a hit back in the days of endless strikes and Three Day Weeks, when the trade unions still wielded real power in this country. Were The Strawbs celebrating, denigrating, or merely commentating? Probably the latter, I suppose. Anyway: this piece of folk-club-singalong whimsy, although an interesting sociological period piece of sorts, has not aged at all well. My votes: 1 - The Beatles. 2 - Annie Lennox. 3 - Justin Timberlake. 4 - Eddy Grant. 5 - The Strawbs. K's votes are in the comments. Over to you. The Seventies have been enjoying a run of success, but I rather suspect that The Strawbs are about to put paid to all that. Will the Beatles lead a rearguard surge for the Sixties, or will Annie Lennox shore up the faltering Nineties? Or are we all Justin fans now? The choice is yours. Running totals so far - Number 3s. 1963: Please Please Me - The Beatles. (119) It has to be...this is flawless pop. (Steve) Not their best, but suitably upbeat ditty (Gert) For me, their best-ever period. Way before the Maharishi and psychedelia and the mega-ballads made them all Serious, Self-Important and Over-Rated. Just a bunch of starting-out Scousers, chucking our way two-and-a-bit minutes of some of the best harmonies Pop never knew it could produce. It makes me want to smile, and to stop thinking, and to fall in love for ever. Isn't that what good Pop Music is all about? (Nigel R (the UK one)) For context. Look what surrounded them at the time. (Asta) the next time somebody tells you they were "the boy band of their day", batter them to death with a crate of unsold one true voice records (noodle) 1993: Little Bird - Annie Lennox. (92) I have great admiration for Annie's talent, but this song is all talent and no heart. (Asta) Stunning track, stunning voice but it's not the Eurythmics. (Steve) I always felt that the Eurythmics got boring after too much exposure on pop radio, but they're always good to come back fresh to. (Gert) She uses her voice really nicely here--you know she can belt it out, but she doesn't feel she has to. (Junio) Personally I think she's bonkers and I prefer the late Eurythmics stuff… but who cares when you've got someone whose voice swoops and soars and seduces you into the music like… like… like, well, like only Annie Lennox's voice can swoop and soar and seduce you into the music? (Nigel R (the UK one)) i hate annie lennox. from the heart (noodle) 1983: Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant. (79) Never really appreciated it as a youngster. Definitely a grown-up's song. (Gert) I don't like reggae as a rule, but this song does it for me. (Asta) Easily his best song. But then, that's not hard. (David) Another rare singalong song that doesn't bring me out in hives. (Junio) Reggae's never been my thing; at least not until about two in the morning after a couple of - well, you get my meaning. But I once lived off Electric Avenue and, yes, I did sing it every day on my way to Brixton tube, just as they’re still doing today. A folk song for London SW9. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I hated it at the time, and the fact that I have to see a sign that reads Electric Avenue every day, prompting this rubbish to go round in my head, has not made it any better. (Stereoboard) gruff tough electropop in no obvious need of a shit noughties remix (noodle) 2003: Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake. (66) rule 1 of making awesome modern soul - employ timbaland (noodle) Nearly my Number Two, because it’s an immediately gorgeous and wonderfully seductive song, best listened to at a candle-lit supper in a restaurant you can't afford (and, anyway, you're not really thinking about food, are you?). But I find the delivery so anodyne and emotionless. Still, anyone who gets his hand on Kylie's bum. . . (Nigel R (the UK one)) God - I had no idea...I like Justin Timberlake...someone stop me. (Steve) I want to dislike him, but I can't. (Junio) Oh just stop whining please (Asta) Is all modern pop music entirely manufactured? (Gert) 1973: Part Of The Union - The Strawbs. (49) This is just fab - singalongatastic. (Steve) a classic,but I would agree it didn't age well (Gert) don't care if it's dated, I still love it. I used to buy Marxism Today, fgs (suebailey) My dad had this on a single, and he is most definitely a union man. (Stereoboard) Dreadful drunken chant which did neither the excellent British folk-music scene, nor the working-class it claimed to support, any favours at all. A product of the strike-torn 70s, with no enduring appeal. As I recall, the band also ran into trouble when it was claimed the song was a blatant rip-off of "Union Maid" by the great Woody Guthrie. (Nigel R (the UK one)) undoubtedly still playing this dross in half-empty folk clubs every night for the rest of their lives. scabs (noodle) Aaarrrggghhh! it's the Norwich Union ad. (David) It's the first time I've found something to like in all of the tracks. (Amanda) Decade scores so far (after 7 days). 1 (1) The 1970s (27) -- Bless This House! Fondue sets! Harmony hairspray! 2 (2) The 1980s (25) -- My Little Pony! Shoulder pads! Prestel! 3 (3) The 1990s (19) -- Leather waistcoats! Freedom rings! Suits you, sir! 4 (3) The 2000s (17) -- Dumbing down! Digital TV! The dotcom bubble! 5 (5) The 1960s (16) -- The permissive society! Cherry B! Cravats! Labels: whichdecade03
Monday, February 24, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (7/10)
"For the first time, I'm battling to decide which is the best, rather than the worst." (David)
It's day 7, and it's the Number Fours... 1963: Little Town Flirt - Del Shannon. Your patience has been rewarded. Today's selection is possibly the strongest yet, with four singles that I could easily have awarded 5 points to on other, less worthy days. 1973: You're So Vain - Carly Simon. 1983: Sign Of The Times - The Belle Stars. 1993: The Love I Lost - West End featuring Sybil. 2003: Stole - Kelly Rowland. Listen to a brief medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. (If the link doesn't work, then try this instead). Plus one that I couldn't. Del Shannon is one of those names that regularly pop up in lists of early 1960s hitmakers, and yet there is definitely something of the also-ran about him. In fact, beyond a certain familiarity with a couple of his other hits (Runaway, Hats Off To Larry), I know absolutely nothing about him. Was he British or American? Was he cute? What happened to him after the hits dried up? Has anyone ever quoted him as an influence on their work? (Pause, as I discover that the man is even struggling for recognition on his own domain name, the front page of www.delshannon.com being primarily concerned with plugging a tribute act. Now, that's sad.) A routine piece of hack-work, Little Town Flirt already sounds four or five years out of date. Un point to Del. That was easy to sort out. Now things get more difficult. Both Sign Of The Times and The Love I Lost are singles which I bought and loved at the time, for no particularly deep reasons. They were just fun - and "fun" has always been one of my key aesthetics of Pop. Listening to them again now, I therefore find it hard to discount the associated warm glow of nostalgia, and to give them an objective assessment instead. But if I am going to be strict-but-fair, then I suppose that in the final analysis, West End featuring Sybil's cover of the Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes classic is, well, a bit on the cheesy side. Although much classier than most examples of that ilk, it's still just a dancey cover version - albeit one which carries powerful associations with some top nights out. Deux points to Sybil. The Belle Stars are represented here by their finest hour. Bright, fresh, breezy stuff, which is only hampered by a rather synthetic production that hasn't aged too well. Great tune, though. Trois points to the Belles. Time for the next dilemma. The beautiful and talented Kelly Rowland offers further proof that she has far more to offer than merely supplying backing vocals for Beyoncé Knowles in Destiny's Child. Whereas last year's duet with Nelly (Dilemma) limited her to endlessly repeating the same melodically repetitive chorus ("No matter what I do, all I think about is you..."), Stole gives Kelly Rowland a chance to truly shine. It's a gorgeous piece of work, and possibly my current favourite single of the moment. So how do I go about comparing it with Carly Simon's acknowledged classic? It's quite impossible. Will Stole also still be fondly remembered in thirty years time? Or does that even matter? Do I accede to seniority, and mark down the precocious young upstart accordingly? Or do I strike a blow for the New over the Old? You're So Vain is distinctive, unique, and damn nearly faultless. Meanwhile, Stole maybe doesn't do quite enough to transcend its genre. If you don't like R&B, then you might dismiss it as "just another faceless R&B track". You'd be wrong of course, but at least I can appreciate the logic. Kelly gets four points, and Carly gets five. My votes: 1 - Carly Simon. 2 - Kelly Rowland. 3 - Belle Stars. 4 - West End featuring Sybil. 5 - Del Shannon. K's votes are in the comments. Over to you. As with Laura Branigan and Duran Duran on Saturday (and it's still not too late to vote retrospectively on that), I'm predicting a closely fought battle today. Although I can't see poor old Del Shannon picking up many points - can you? Running totals so far - Number 4s. 1973: You're So Vain - Carly Simon. (107) bitter, sardonic california blues. perfect. (noodle) Best! Song! Evah! (David) Drunk girls' karaoke AGAIN! (suebailey) Biting lyrics and the voice to go with them. (Asta) Brilliant lyrics, catchy tune. Mute the strings a bit and it's perfect. (Junio) Can't be faulted, can it? Knowing wit, relentless, addictive tune, dark-brown voice, and some of the sharpest, bitchiest lyrics in pop. (Nigel R (the UK one)) 1983: Sign Of The Times - The Belle Stars. (77) Sigh. Girl groups. They were Fun once, weren't they? A bouncy, refreshing, unpretentious little tune that makes me go all warm and giggly inside. I'll have another alcopop, please. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Pop music at its most cheerful and poppy, good intro. (Gert) I have great memories of this song, but the vocals and the arrangement seem so thin now I listen to it again. (Junio) Shame on me, I thought this was Bananarama (Steve) I thought this was Bananarama too. *blush* (suebailey) almost redeems the clapping song. almost (noodle) 1993: The Love I Lost - West End featuring Sybil. (57) The slow bit does nothing for me, but the uptempo section is good. (Junio) A super-slick and faultless production. So super-slick and faultless, in fact, that I have just thrown up over my keyboard. (Nigel R (the UK one)) below par disco slapped over the most banal stock aitken & waterman beat imaginable (noodle) 2003: Stole - Kelly Rowland. (47) Maybe it is just the newness, but I love this song. (Asta) not unpleasant, but instantly forgettable (noodle) She's got a good voice all right, but the actual tune is a bit bog standard, isn't it? (Junio) I prefer the backing singers to the lead singer. Her vocal is quite unnecessary. It would work quite well without it. (Amanda) I don't like that shouty-in-pain bit on backing vocals. (Gert) Would someone please put her out of her (and my) misery? (Nigel R (the UK one)) What is it with Kelly Rowland? Why do people like her? Why did people buy 'Dilemma' in such large numbers when it was blatantly utter tripe? Is it because it had the words 'I love you' in it a lot? Is the British public that fickle? (Alan) No Nelly, no welly. (David) No rhythm. No blues. (djg) Is she related to Kevin? (Steve) 1963: Little Town Flirt - Del Shannon. (42) the morrissey of the high school hop (noodle) Mucho bio of Del Shannon on www.delshannon.com. I remember him as a big star, of course. Bill-topper. He's now (a) dead and (b) in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Seems to have worked with and written for various artists. A victim of the Beatles' gigastardom, like so many balladeers. Whole armies of them - one and two-hit wonders. Just like today, if you think about it. (I remember Neil Sedaka once remarking that after he heard his first Beatles song, he immediately realised his own career was over.) Thks for that. Nice memories. Little Town Flirt really is quite awful, I agree. (Peter) Oh, harmless enough. I like the jingly-jangly intro, and there's a feckless innocence about it which is quite endearing. (Nigel R (the UK one)) It grew on me after a few listenings. No doubt it will wash off tomorrow. (Amanda) Like the backing vocals, but the lead is bla-bla-bla-bla-bland. (Junio) No amount of hand-jiving will convince me this is good. (Steve) I find it slightly offensive. (Gert) Decade scores so far (after 6 days). 1 (2) The 1970s (22) -- The Ronco Buttoneer! Angela Rippon on Morecambe & Wise! Cresta: it's frothy, man! 2 (1) The 1980s (21) -- Sinclair C5s! Skinny leather ties! This is a journey into sound! 3= (5) The 2000s (16) -- Bob the Builder! Ketamine! Condoleezza Rice! 3= (3) The 1990s (16) -- Handbag House! Usenet! The Criminal Justice Act! 5 (4) The 1960s (15) -- Merseybeat! Pop Art! Martin Luther King! Labels: whichdecade03
Sunday, February 23, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (6/10)
Today, it gets better. After yesterday, how could it not?
Day 6, and we're into the Top Five for this week in the past five decades. Here come the Number Fives... 1963: Bachelor Boy - Cliff Richard. For the first time since this project began, I find that I can cheerfully live with all five of today's selections. Elton John is the obvious classic here, complete with its staring-you-in-the-face, ooh-but-we-didn't-realise-at-the-time depiction of unabashed homosexual longing. The line "Daniel my brother" threw us all off the scent, you see. Such innocent times.1973: Daniel - Elton John. 1983: Change - Tears For Fears. 1993: Deep - East 17. 2003: Don't Worry - Appleton. Listen to a brief medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. (If the link doesn't work, then try this instead). Speaking of...well, you know...Cliff Richard has to come next. Eerily prophetic, as you hardly need me to point out. Although obviously, Cliff's declared lifestyle choice is entirely due to classic "fear of commitment" issues. (Good grief - I've just remembered that I was dreaming about Cliff's friend Mary Whitehouse last night. And Zsa Zsa Gabor. What's going on in that subconscious of mine?) Great tune, and indelibly linked to Summer Holiday, which will always be one of the best films ever ever ever, so there. This is where the decisions get tough. After careful consideration, I'm giving my three points to those Appleton sisters - formerly half of All Saints, one of whom is married to Liam Gallagher. This is despite their rather annoying "the world owes us a living" public personas, and their "haven't we finished yet, the Met Bar's open and we've got much better things to do than stand around here for much longer" performance style. Simply put, Don't Worry is a perfectly well crafted and pleasant pop record - admittedly not up to the standard of All Saints, but respectable enough all the same. I was never particularly fond of Tears For Fears - too wet, too limp, too thin, too drippy, like a piece of soggy green lettuce in the colourful salad bowl that was Eighties Pop. (Hey, it's not yet noon on a Sunday, and I'm waxing metaphorical already. This is going to be a good day!) However, they could pen a decent tune at times, and this is one of their better efforts. As for East 17 - they really were the Blazin' Squad of their day, weren't they? It's those Home Counties Homeboy accents again. Compare and contrast with Reminisce, if you will. East 17 are heaps better, aren't they? It's the leeriness that puts them ahead, I think. Unlike their perpetual rivals Take That, who tempered their exposed nipples with sweet smiles and general all-round wholesomeness, East 17's appeal was unmistakeably skanky, dirty, love-bites-in-the-bus-shelter, are-ya-shaggin-me-or-wot? And we need a bit of that in the charts, don't we? Having said all that - I suppose that Deep is a bit of low-rent botch job at the end of the day, even if it does make me smile fondly and indulgently. Oh, you boys! My votes: 1 - Elton John. 2 - Cliff Richard. 3 - Appleton. 4 - Tears For Fears. 5 - East 17. K's votes are in the comments. Over to you. The 1980s have now taken over from the 1970s at the top. Will Elton John help to push the 1970s back up there, I wonder? Running totals so far - Number 5s. 1973: Daniel - Elton John. (96) No contest. A corker from the very first bar. And, when you realise what Reg is really singing about, a great tear-jerker as well. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Nout else comes close. I thought it was about his brother (but I was young). (Nic) Thank God there's no connection between this song and Diana or I'd hate this too by now. (Junio) The best song of the bunch, but so overplayed that I never want to hear it again. (David) I had a boss called Daniel, consequently I hate this song. (Su(zi)e) It makes me want to scream and hurt things. (Stereoboard) 2003: Don't Worry - Appleton. (70) Don't know anything about the girls,so I could just enjoy the song. (Asta) Sounds like it'd be more effective with another couple of voices in the mix, but quoit cetchee. (Junio) perfect example of good pop being nothing to do with the talents of the artiste (noodle) Hmmm...? Did you say something? Sorry. Don't remember this at all even though I've just listened to it. (David) Deeply inoffensive. (Nigel R (the UK one)) The song would be okay by someone else, but I can't stand the miserable cows. (Chig) Don't they make teas? Oh, sorry. That's Lipton. (Vaughan) 1983: Change - Tears For Fears. (65) Remember the video? Those white-faced mimes with their silly little gestures? No? Just me, then? (David) I like the intro but it fails once the verse starts. (Amanda) Not their best and even their best was lukewarm. (Asta) Loved them, loved them, loved them, but this isn't one of their top tunes. (Chig) it was plonking away quite nicely till we reached the worst chorus i have ever heard in my life (noodle) A band of hardly any originality with vocals so woefully monotonous they make even Morrisey come across as a chirpy-chappie. What were we thinking of in the 80s? (Nigel R (the UK one)) Can someone hum it to me? Is it one of their very early ones, from the days when they looked like earnest young sociology students and had ringlets in their hair? 'Mad World'/'Pale Shelter' era? Anyone? Hello? (Vaughan) 1963: Bachelor Boy - Cliff Richard. (63) Fantastic film, great little song. (David) pleasant enough whimsy. may have scuppered cliff's claim to be the "british elvis" (noodle) I pride myself on being able to put this as high as this despite the crimes against humanity that Cliff later perpetrated (e.g. Mistletoe & Wine - imho the worst, most objectionable song ever released). (Stereoboard) Was nearly bottom except that its horrible tweeness is just about rescued by its comedy singalong value. (Chig) Tragic twaddle. Only made half-way acceptable by all our knowing sniggers. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I have little to say about Cliff. He sang Why Should The Devil Have All The Good Music? To which the world replied: Because we're going to be going to hell just to avoid you, Cliff. (Vaughan) Why is everyone so anti Cliff Richard? It may not be a smash hit, like his Christmas #1 'The Lord's Prayer' but Bachelor Boy does promote good Christian values by discouraging sex before marriage- quite noble, I’m sure you'll agree! (Saved Grace) 1993: Deep - East 17. (51) It may not be deep, but I loved it at the time. (diamond geezer) fab production, cheeky cockernee shag-monkeys (noodle) Not a bad effort, bless 'em. Best listened to at 3.30 a.m on the over-priced cab-ride home, with the one you want to shag snuggled up drunk and incapable beside you. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I watched a video yesterday of them on TOTP a few months after this - Jan 1994 - doing It's Alright. God, they looked stupid. However, I did (aaaaaaagh, alright, do still) have a secret longing for Brian Harvey, and this song succeeded in getting a very rude lyric on the radio, so four points for sheer cheek. (Chig) East 17 kind of always scared me. Not because they looked tough, but because they tried to look tough and so obviously weren't. I did like 'Stay Another Day', though. I found that curiously homoerotic. And it had snow. And bells. Bells are good. Particularly at Christmas. (Vaughan) Strained and lame (Asta) Junio's rule of rap: It should either be absolutely filthy and offensive or rib-rocked right-on. This is neither. (Junio) Decade scores so far (after 5 days). 1 (2) The 1980s (18) -- Rubik's Cubes! The Big Bang! Body popping! 2 (1) The 1970s (17) -- Ponchos! Chicken bricks! Watergate! 3 (4) The 1990s (15) -- Britpop! Ecru linen layers! Anthea Turner! 4 (3) The 1960s (13) -- Mini skirts! The Cultural Revolution! Woodstock! 5 (5) The 2000s (12) -- Globalisation! The death of ideology! Geri Halliwell's solo career! Labels: whichdecade03
Saturday, February 22, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (5/10)
It gets worse, I'm afraid.
Day 5 brings us the Number 6 singles for this week in the past five decades. And guess what? They're the biggest pile of old toss yet. Things can't sink any lower than this, can they? Can they? Let's open the trap doors and bring them on, then. Steel yourselves, people. This isn't going to be pretty. 1963: Loop-De-Loop - Frankie Vaughan. With this cheerily moronic pub singalong, Frankie Vaughan could rightfully claim to be the DJ Otzi of his day. At least Little Jimmy Osmond was too young to know better. 1973: Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Little Jimmy Osmond. 1983: Gloria - Laura Branigan. 1993: Ordinary World - Duran Duran. 2003: Songbird - Oasis. Listen to a mercifully brief medley (only about a minute each, promise) of all five songs. Although - if I'm going to be strictly honest here - I did rather like Long Haired Lover From Liverpool in its day. Partly because I was still too young to care about Cool, partly because I could play the tune on my recorder, partly because Little Jimmy was the voice of my generation (kids in the charts - yippee!), and partly because I was always partial to a Novelty Hit back then. Novelty Hits said to me that anything could get in the charts. They kept things fresh, surprising and fun. One month, it would be Lieutenant Pigeon's Mouldy Old Dough, with a plump old dear bashing away at the Joanna. Another month, a bunch of bagpipers skirling through Amazing Grace, which I could also play on the recorder (and did, at great length, much to the annoyance of everyone around me). Or else it might be Benny Hill, bringing us Ernie's ghostly gold-tops, a-rattlin' in their crate, or Ray Stevens ("Don't Look, Ethel!") singing about coo gosh, naked people, in The Streak. I loved all that stuff. In which case, perhaps it wasn't too surprising that I was only 18 months away from getting into the full-on intergalactic whimsy that was Gong. Despite enjoying something of a commercial and critical renaissance last year (up to a point, at least), Oasis are back to scraping the barrel with this tossed-off-in-five-minutes-flat piece of inconsequential whimsy. Not much more than two minutes long, and yet after the first minute it's more or less all over bar the strumming. Lazy, complacent, pointless. Only a certain residual folksy charm saves it from the last two positions in my vote. Back in 1993, the once ubiquitous Duran Duran had long been consigned to the dumper, with two original band members gone and no Top Ten hits in the past four years. Ordinary World (and its follow-up, Come Undone) marked a brief and unexpected comeback for the group, much in the same way as Adam Ant had bafflingly resurfaced three years earlier with Room At The Top. The song is certainly not without merit, in particular its soaringly memorable chorus and some nice guitar figures towards the end. On the other hand, isn't it just a bit of a plodding dirge at heart? Which leaves a rather surprised looking Laura Branigan sitting at the top of my heap, by default rather than on account of any particular merit. Gloria was one of the first of those rather nasty rock-disco fusion records which briefly cluttered up the US charts in 83 and 84 - the most notable example being Michael Sembello's Maniac (a guilty pleasure of mine, as it happens). But the queens all loved it, of course. They - and I - went on to love Laura even more the following year, when she unleashed the absolutely fan-TAST-ic Self Control on the world ("I live among the creatures of the night!"). Compared to that, Gloria is as nothing. But at least it's got "a catchy tune and a good beat to it", as callers to Tony Blackburn's "National Pop Panel" used to say without fail, every single sodding weekday afternoon in the late 1970s. And for today, a catchy tune and a good beat is all you need to get yourself cinq points from moi. Pass the poppers, the chorus is coming up! My votes: 1 - Laura Branigan. 2 - Duran Duran. 3 - Oasis. 4 - Little Jimmy Osmond. 5 - Frankie Vaughan. K's votes are in the comments. Over to you. We haven't yet had a winner from the Eighties or the Sixties. I can't see Frankie Vaughan topping today's poll, but will Laura Branigan go all the way? Oo-er! Oh, and a quick reminder, as Chig thinks some of you might be cheating. Although to be fair, I don't think any of you are. Bastion of integrity, this place. Anyway, the reminder is this: please don't vote unless you actually have heard all the tracks in question, preferably via the medley MP3 of course. But you were doing that already, weren't you? Running totals so far - Number 6s. 1993: Ordinary World - Duran Duran. (92) They returned with an anthem. Real class. (David) Plush, polished, and the least bad. (Stereoboard) we must never forget what they did to "white lines". but this was a last flash of moody existential goodness (noodle) Pleasant enough. But, for me, Duran Duran were a band who made really ace videos. Can't recall the video for this one. Enough said. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Background music, but nice background music. (Junio) By far one of their worst, but still - anyone who takes their wife's surname... (Steve) 1983: Gloria - Laura Branigan. (89) the "i will survive" that doesn't conjure up images of battered fishwives doing karaoke and swigging hooch (noodle) Drunk girls' karaoke. Love it. (Su(zi)e) Ah, such happy memories of my first visits to American girl bars. One of the few dancefloor singalong songs that I don't hate. (Junio) To really appreciate this, children, you had to be there, in your tight pseudo-rent-boy ripped jeans, pirate bandana round your head, Liquid Gold up your nose, expertly dodging the moustachioed fan-dancers in Heaven on a Saturday night. Hi-NRG crossover classic with a pounding, relentless beat that demands you throw your arms up in the air. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Fabulous memories of the Powerhouse, where the slightly scary clones on poppers would dance to Funky Dunc playing Gloria on (I presume) two discs, making it seem to last about 15 minutes. (Chig) Got to confess I was addicted to Gloria. Totally and utterly. Almost certainly got it on a C90 somewhere in the mess. (Peter) You forgot the white t-shirt, long since ripped off, stuffed into your jeans, and gaily flailing from which ever side took your fancy. And why stick at Heaven when Fire Island was available? Liquid Gold was OK, but me I was always a Rush man. This project is worth it for Gloria alone! (Peter (again)) Vile, just vile, but still, the legwarmers must've been somewhat jolly. (Steve) 2003: Songbird - Oasis. (65) Don't Look Back In Anger not withstanding, I hate Oasis and their sneering, derivative, manipulative, soul-less music with every fibre of my being and will continue to do so while there remains life in my body. (Nigel R (the UK one)) there are now schoolboy oasis rip-off bands who are better at being oasis than oasis are (noodle) God, that's dull. (Su(zi)e) Surely they have enough money to retire? (Gert) 1973: Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Little Jimmy Osmond. (44) Musically it's the pits. But after three Stellas in the company of non-judgmental mates, it’s actually quite fun, in a Music-Hall sort of way. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Apparently, I used to dance excitedly around the living-room to Jimmy Osmond's superb homage to hirsute people from Merseyside. I should add that I was two years old at the time. (Vaughan) Thank the gods that I've not heard this for a while. This used to be my brother's party piece. The shame. (Stereoboard) Hm, this is of course a vote for fond memories (as a 6 year old) over musical quality. When this song came out, I had a poster, sent off for from The Sun, of Little Jimmy on my bedroom wall. The photo was printed in 'purple & white'. The poster must have come from a relative or friend, because The Sun was certainly never allowed in our house. (Chig) Careful with that - it's pure concentrated evil. (Steve) 1963: Loop-De-Loop - Frankie Vaughan. (40) Mildly amusing piece of old toffee. But find me five Stellas and a grannie to boogie with, and, oh my, what jollies we'll have. (Nigel R (the UK one)) We used to play games to this in Reception. (Gert) Just sickening - quite glad I wasn't here for the sixties after hearing this. (Steve) Possibly the only record ever likely to appear lower than the Jimmy. I may sue for aural torture. (Stereoboard) Who knew there was such a thing as bad Frankie Vaughan? (Junio) ssssss...it burnsssss usssss, it burnssss usssss, take it offssssss.... (noodle) Have you deliberately chosen the worst week in the history of pop music??? (David) I'm becoming numbed by the whole process. In fact, I don't think I can feel my legs. I can't feel my legs. Who wants to feel my legs? (djg) Decade scores so far (after 4 days). 1. (2) The 1970s (15) -- Hai Karate! The Three Day Week! Farrah Fawcett-Majors! 2. (1) The 1980s (14) -- Acid house! Roland Rat! Michael Foot's donkey jacket! 3. (4) The 1960s (12) -- Christine Keeler! Apollo 11! I'm Backing Britain! 4 (3) The 1990s (10) -- The Mary Whitehouse Experience! Shoegazing! Sun dried tomatoes! 5 (5) The 2000s (9) -- Ironed hair! Ian Duncan Smith! All your base are belong to us! Labels: whichdecade03
Friday, February 21, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (4/10)
"This may well be an exciting and historical musical experiment, but we've had fifteen songs so far and I can count the number of good ones on one finger."
A telling comment yesterday from djg, who I suspect might be speaking for a few of you. Maybe the real lesson to emerge from this project will be that the charts have always been full of crap. Or maybe not. Maybe all the solid gold classics are yet to come. Who can say? (Well, I can say. But I won't.) Day 4 then, which brings us the Number 7 singles for this week in the past five decades. Fingers at the ready, panel! 1963: Like I Do - Maureen Evans. So what do you reckon, then? My view: there are two Corkers, two Clunkers, and one which floats about somewhere in the middle.1973: Wishing Well - Free. 1983: Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes. 1993: Exterminate - Snap! 2003: If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield. Listen to a short medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. Let's dispose of the Clunkers first, then. Snap! had already given the world a couple of fairly enjoyable commercial dance hits: The Power and Rhythm Is A Dancer. You might not have liked them, but you couldn't deny that they at least had a certain efficiency. In contrast, Exterminate runs out of ideas almost as soon as it has started. Thirty seconds in, and I was bored already. As for Cocker & Warnes: I can only hope that they were paid well for this sub-Christopher Cross drivel. Actually, it had never occurred to me before that anything could be fairly described as "sub-Christopher Cross", but that gruesome electric piano alone is almost enough to push me over the edge. The other tragedy of this record: Joe and Jennifer are both worth so much more than this. After all, this is the man who sang Delta Lady, and this is the woman who went on to produce that timelessly wonderful album of Leonard Cohen covers, Famous Blue Raincoat. It is only their residual vocal talent which lifts this effort one point ahead of Exterminate. What of Daniel Bedingfield, though? K detests this, and wasted no time in placing it last. As for me: most of my instincts are telling me it's drivel, and yet, and yet...there's something curiously beguiling about the melody, which has slowly sneaked up on me in the past few weeks. I don't hate it. It registers with me somewhere along the line. I'm not altogether sure this is a good thing. Let us now turn our mind to happier things. With Focus, Status Quo and now Free, February 1973 was clearly a great time for patched and be-denimmed Hairy Rock of the old school. Where did I put my army greatcoat? And where are my Permaprints posters, as ordered from the back of Sounds? (Note: readers under 40 probably have no idea what I'm on about here.) Anyway, Wishing Well still sounds as mighty as ever to these ears. It's a hirsute, beer-stained, faded blue lump of sheer unreconstructed testosterone, with dirty nails, split ends and the unmistakeable whiff of patchouli oil and Lebanese Black. Top of my pile, then. Finally, and in complete contrast: a forgotten gem from Maureen Evans, which I had never heard until now. Like yesterday's Mike Berry track before it, the subject matter of Like I Do is quite unmistakeably sexual: something which I hadn't expected to find in seemingly innocuous early Sixties Tin Pan Alley pop. On this tune, Maureen Evans deftly spins her web of sexual jealousy, accompanied by some deliciously mocking string counterpoints. I imagine her standing there, smiling oh-so-sweetly, her eyes narrowing in spite all the while. Anyhow, the message comes across loud and clear: Bet she's a crap shag. Serves you right for dumping me, you bastard. Oh yeah, and the melody. Does it sound familiar at all? Because K and I were singing along to it from the first line: "Hello Muddah. Hello Faddah. Here I am at Camp Grenada..." Again, you youngsters probably have no idea what I'm on about. My votes: 1 - Free. 2 - Maureen Evans. 3 - Daniel Bedingfield. 4 - Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes. 5 - Snap! As always, K's votes are in the comments box below. Over to you. We've now had winners from the 80s, 90s and 00s. Is it time for Maureen Evans to swing it for the 60s, or will Free bring it on home for the 70s? Use your votes wisely... Running totals so far - Number 7s. 1973: Wishing Well - Free. (118) Burnt into the party-pack consciousness of every spotty teenager from the Seventies. Only to be listened to after a minimum of five Snakebites, in the middle of a soggy dancefloor, when all the girls you had a crush on have turned you down and you really can't understand why, you idiot. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I can't believe I'm admitting I like this, but it's one of those tunes that's stuck with me. And it brings to mind the tabloid headlines about David Kosoff's pain at his rocker son David's drug addiction. (Junio) I haven't heard this for years and years. It hasn't aged well. Still I remember quite liking it. There's something mysterious and appealing about that wishing well. (Amanda) His voice sounds a bit like Colin Blunstone which I can't help but fall for. (Elisabeth) good song, pedestrian execution. i prefer gary moore's version (noodle) No, it's from that dreary dirgy rock genre that put me off pop music in the early 70s. (Gert) 1963: Like I Do - Maureen Evans. (90) First time I've heard this one, but already in my catalogue of you-dumped-me-you-snivelling-little-bastard-but-how-I'll-enjoy-making-you-pay songs. Sung so straight it ends up delicious with venom. (Nigel R (the UK one)) So brilliant to put those lyrics on that familiar melody - isn't it Ponchielli's "Dance of the Hours" (also featured in Disney's "Fantasia")? (Luca) "Dance of the Hours" makes me think of piano lessons. *shudder* (Su(zi)e) It's got that Doris Day 'Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps' feel to it; not as good though. (Amanda) Would have ranked higher except for the Camp Granada melody. (Asta) i used to love "camp granada" as played by ed stewpot stewart. it kind of detracts from this song's credibility. and the guitar sounds like hank bloody marvin. (noodle) 1983: Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes. (81) This is the sort of thing I usually loath. An overblown power ballad full of manipulative and fake emotion beloved by Hollywood where it's used so you can sit there with tears glistening in your eyes as the credits roll (An Officer And A Gentlemen, wasn't it?). It's the sort of territory that Celine Dion has made her own. However, I can't find it in my heart to hate this one, maybe it's the singing, maybe it's a well-constructed song, maybe it's just a better example of the genre. (Amanda) Over-orchestrating the schmaltz and syrup but alarmingly effective on Closet Softies like me. Surprisingly penned by 60s protester, Buffy Sainte-Marie, who also wrote Until It's Time For You To Go, and who, unlike Joe and Jen, always delivered her love lyrics in a refreshingly lo-cal way. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I don't want diss this one too much, since it was written by a Canadian (Buffy St. Marie), but I'm afraid it's quite, quite awful. A good ballad (like Daniel's) should make you feel sentimental. This, I guess, is meant to be "inspirational", but like Bette Midler's schlockfests, it suffocates under its syrupy Hallmark self. (Elisabeth) Will forever remind me of a brief stay in hospital, where the in-house radio station would play this over and over. (Alex M) My dislike of this track is proportional to the number of times I had to play it on the Request Show I used to host on hospital radio. Elton John's Sacrifice and that damn Lady in Red were the other two 'most-requested' week after week after week after.... (Gordon) When did producers decide to use such heavy reverb on the vocals while keeping the bed tracks so "close"? It's just irritating to me (production wise). Jennifer’s voice is lovely, Joe is capable of much better! (trev!) Such a waste of talent (Asta) Joe - you were at Woodstock. What were you thinking? (Stereoboard) I hasten to add that in any other list, Bedingfield would've been bottom, but I loathe Cocker/Warnes with a passion only beaten by the bile of a thousand demons. (Lyle) 2003: If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield. (77) So this is what the young people are listening to today, is it? Although it’s nothing special, I surprised myself by liking both it and his plaintive whimpering, which, however, wouldn't have been out of place any time since the 80s.. Best listened to after five Smirnoff Ices, and I bet spotty teenagers will be snogging to this for years to come. Ahh, pop music, don't you love it? (Nigel R (the UK one)) I can imagine lovesick 13 year olds across the country listening to this over and over, much as I would have done at that age (my ballad vice then was Corey Hart though...) Secretly quite like this one. (Elisabeth) Sniggered at it for a while, now fond of it as it comforted me through hard times (OK, I cried along it on many a Wednesday lately). (Luca) i hate his pugnacious face on principle, but the production is lush. (noodle) I shouldn't like this song, but I do. The melody is quite catchy and lovely production. (trev!) I imagine it would grow on me if I let it. (Gert) That heartbeat rhythm is very calculated, isn't it? (Amanda) Why do all these 00 artists, none of whom I'm heard of have such completely and utterly UN-show-bizzy names? It's inoffensive. (Junio) This bloke is passing me by. I do hope it stays that way. (Stereoboard) 1993: Exterminate - Snap! (69) diabolical cheap nothingness, and those horrid Enigmaesque pan pipes make me want to scream. (Elisabeth) i may have spent too many nights sitting shitfaced in the corners of tawdry nightclubs daydreaming to this sort of thing (noodle) They are capable of creating better than this, but it's still not too bad. The whole "trance-meets-world-music-fusion" thing did become a little over done, but still nice. (trev!) A bit of drum & bass influence there, and an Enigma flute. Not enough. (David) I can't even dance to this. And I can dance to anything. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Even they sound bored. (Asta) Decade scores so far (after 3 days). 1. The 1980s (11) -- Deely boppers! Red braces! Lacquered black ash! 2. The 1970s (10) -- Anthea Redfern! Curly Wurlys! Decimalisation! 3. The 1990s (9) -- Chris Evans! New age crystals! This Life! 4. The 1960s (8) -- Flower Power! Smashing Time! Simon Dee! 5. The 2000s (7) -- Reality TV! Tate Modern! Kate Thornton! Labels: whichdecade03
Thursday, February 20, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (3/10)
Day 3, and we're onto the Number 8 singles for this week in the past five decades.
1963: Don't You Think It's Time - Mike Berry. This was my first encounter with the Mike Berry record (complete with its bizarre "is this really playing at the right speed?" introduction). A certain period-kitsch charm aside, this is essentially a fairly slight, forgettable ditty - except that I have actually begun to find something rather creepy about it. The singer is basically trying to pop his girlfriend's cherry - most likely late at night in a deserted graveyard, by the sounds of it - and is using every sly, manipulative trick in the book to do it. I'm particularly struck by his mention of the church bells, carrying as they do the implicit yet comfortably vague suggestion of future nuptial bliss ahead. Fall for that one love, and you'll fall for anything! Men are pigs! Knee the smarmy bugger in the groin, then keep running and don't look back!1973: Paper Plane - Status Quo. 1983: You Can't Hurry Love - Phil Collins. 1993: How Can I Love You More? - M People. 2003: Reminisce - Blazin' Squad. Listen to a short medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. Status Quo and M People are both acts which are liable to induce automatic groans of withering contempt these days - and yet in the actual years in question, both were seen as breaths of fresh air. Paper Plane was the Quo's big comeback hit, which kick-started the rest of their career. Their brand of boogie had yet to become stale and formularised - we were still a good four years away from the likes of Rockin' All Over The World, Again And Again, and the descent into self-parody. In 1973, the Quo were where it was at, maaan. They were also the first act which K saw live in concert - a fact with which I love to make him squirm (he saw them six times, you know!) Anyway, what I'm saying is this: you have to try not to view the band's early work through the distorting mirror of their later work. The same holds true for Heather "Pineapple Head" Small, Mike "Bad Sax Mime" Pickering, and the rest of the People They Call M. Although it had already grazed the lower end of the Top 40, the reissued and remixed (by Sasha) version of How Can I Love You More? was the band's breakthrough hit - and for a while after that, they were awfully, awfully popular, right across the board. One Night In Heaven, Moving On Up, Renaissance...ah, c'mon, don't tell me you didn't enjoy them at the time? How were we to know that, like the Quo before them, M People were little more than a one trick pony, whose trick would pall even more quickly? It was a good trick while it lasted. That's all I'm saying. Onto Phil Collins, then - the man who was memorably described by Julie Burchill as looking as if he had a stocking placed permanently over his head. Now, this may surprise you, but I loved this single when it came out. There, I've said it. In fact - and despite his many, many heinous crimes against music, and the whole ghastly 1980s mindset which he came to represent - when it comes to Phil, I'm going to have to line myself up with the US hip-hop/R&B community (who even produced a tribute album to the man last year). He Did Some Good Stuff. At his best (and okay, so it wasn't that often), he was capable of producing simple, direct, heartfelt, soulful tunes with great melodies and lovely, musicianly arrangements which were sometimes understated, sometimes funky. He also had the good judgement to make repeated use of the brass section from Earth Wind & Fire, one of the mightiest acts ever to walk the face of the planet. So several plus points for that alone, I reckon. You want examples? I'll give you examples. I Missed Again, I Cannot Believe It's True, If Leaving Me Is Easy (there was a great lover's rock cover of that, by the way), Don't Let Him Steal Your Heart Away, Sussudio...and yes, even his duet with EW&F's Philip Bailey, Easy Lover, which was Number One when K and I first got together. And let's not forget Paperlate and - especially - That's All with Genesis, either. With tunes like those, I can readily forgive him the horrors of Against All Odds, In The Air Tonight (oh LORD!) and Another Day In Paradise. (Well OK - no-one should forgive him for Another Day In Paradise. I'm stretching my point now, aren't I?) So why You Can't Hurry Love? Silly reasons, really. I didn't know the song too well before, and - coming as it did at the height of my I'm-Coming-Out, I've-Got-To-Find-Me-A-Man phase - it struck a chord. In fact, as February and March of 1983 progressed, with their endless rounds of Saturday-night-down-the-club misjudgements and disappointments, it became something of a theme song. It also helped that the song had now been given a fairly sincere sounding male vocal delivery, rather than Miss Ross's dreamily detached rendition of yore. I could, y'know, relate. OK, I know you all still hate it. I've said me piece! Actually, I'm just putting off having to think about Blazin' Squad. Guess what? There's actually a worse record in the current Top 10 than David Sneddon. At least Sneddo means well, in his dull, plodding, sweetly limited way. Whereas the Blazin' Squad's watered-down bastardisation of G-Funk, with its hilarious-if-it-wasn't-so-tragic fake Home Counties Homeboy delivery, is nothing but a crushingly careerist, soul-deadening experience which turns my heart to lead. Must we fling this filth at our pop kids? Besides which, I haven't yet forgiven them for completely wrecking one of my favourite singles of the 1990s, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony's Tha Crossroads. A pox on all your houses, Da Squad! My votes: 1 - Status Quo. 2 - M People. 3 - Phil Collins. 4 - Mike Berry. 5 - Blazin' Squad. K's votes are in the comments box below. Over to you. So far, we've had a winner each from the 1990s and the 2000s. Is it time for one of the earlier decades to take over? Running totals so far - Number 8s. 1983: You Can't Hurry Love - Phil Collins. (108) Such a good song it just doesn't matter who does it. (Stereoboard) Obviously a pale shadow (ba-dum-dum) of the original, but the song's so good even he can't screw it up too much. (Junio) ...sorry, but he murdered a fabulous Supremes song and turned it into white boy pish. (Elisabeth) Twenty years ago this single was bought by the very people who are now running the country. Bland. Bland. Bland. I really do not like covers which don't add to the original version, apart from being sung by a bloke, that is. Even Melanie (Safka) did a better cover of this. (Nigel R (the UK one)) started the 80s trend for shagging the corpse of motown (noodle) 1973: Paper Plane - Status Quo. (99) Sounds really rockin' and good! (Elisabeth) Always had a soft spot for the Quo, and this is a fine example of their very own head-bangin' wall of sound, way back before they became jokes. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Les Battersby (Coronation Street) has ruined Status Quo for me, but I must admit that they were fun and half-decent during this time. (trev!) There really is only one "dance" move possible to this rhythm, isn't there? (Junio) OK, maybe they were new at it then, but it still sounds like the Heebeegeebees' parody Boring Song. (David) not their best song, but I lurve SQ in a non-thinking way. they simply do not take themselves at all seriously. (Gert) noel gallagher hears this at wedding reception, thinks "hey, there's a good idea for my entire bastard career" (noodle) 1993: How Can I Love You More? - M People. (93) I like her voice OK? Plus I'm having problems sleeping at the moment and this is cheaper than Mogadon. Weren't they responsible for Tony Blair though? (Nigel R (the UK one)) Yeah, I bought that album with them on sofas, but can't bear her voice now. (David) Evidence that the nineties are destined to become a decade that taste abandoned. (Steve) ...they're so boring that I get a headache just looking at them. (Elisabeth) 1963: Don't You Think It's Time - Mike Berry. (79) lovely early 60s production and faux-buddy holly vocals. (noodle) Jingly and sweet, but losing points for the Buddy Holly-esqe "a-hey hey"-ing. (Steve) There's a certain cheeky charm to this, I suppose. (Nigel R (the UK one)) 2003: Reminisce - Blazin' Squad. (41) Sounds like the sort of record a football team would release. (Junio) Consider this: The people who have placed this at Number Eight include some of the people who will be running this country in twenty years' time. (Nigel R (the UK one)) I have a soft spot for Blazin' Squad - they smack of E17 x 4 but younger. And, if it's actually possible, less personality, less talent and worse lyrics. And the singing! Just listen to those high notes on Love on the line or Reminisce, slathered with pitch control and reverb to try and get them vaguely on track. It never fails to crack me up. And do they make up those hard poses themselves? Brilliant! Oh, and when we saw them on Top of the Pops once they were all secretly pissing themselves, so at least they know they're rubbish. (Elisabeth) would fail to dampen the knickers of an 11 year old with attention deficit disorder (noodle) Not cuz I'm old, honest - it's just shit. (David) Today's choices were tough - a godawful bunch of dross. To think some people believe that chart positions are a measure of a song's quality... (Ben) Can I vote all five as being 5th equal. I.e. all equally shonky and abysmal? (Lyle) I'd cross the street to avoid hearing all of them. (Asta) This may well be an exciting and historical musical experiment but we've had fifteen songs so far and I can count the number of good ones on one finger. (djg) Labels: whichdecade03
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (2/10)
Day 2 of the project brings us the Number 9 singles for this week in 1963, 1973, 1983, 1993 and 2003.
1963: All Alone Am I - Brenda Lee. After yesterday's rather motley selection of Number Tens, I think you'll agree that the quality rises sharply today - with one glaring exception, that is. I wonder whether anyone will place Rolf Harris any higher than fifth? (The particular problem I have with Rolf: when this was a hit, my hearty, rugger-buggerish, Antipodean line manager at the time - a perfectly nice guy in most ways - thought it was one of the funniest records ever made, and used to wander round the office quoting it and giggling. As I was at the time deeply miserable in my job, I can still never hear the line "How does it affect you blokes?" without shuddering.)1973: Sylvia - Focus. 1983: Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do) - Wham! 1993: Stairway To Heaven - Rolf Harris. 2003: Lose Yourself - Eminem. Listen to a short medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. (Apologies for the iffy sound quality on the Brenda Lee, by the way.) Brenda Lee delivers a competent ballad in a suitably plaintive style, but maybe its stock sentiments are just a little bit too run-of-the-mill Tin Pan Alley. Which leaves three great singles with bairly a hair's breadth between them. As a precocious eleven year old, the Focus single blew my little socks off - as did its follow-up, Hocus Pocus. I've even got a copy of their Moving Waves album up in the attic, unplayed since the 1970s. Jan Akkerman and Thijs Van Leer, where are you now? As for Wham Rap! - I bought the original (flop) 12-inch version of this in the summer of 1982, back when Wham! still had considerable lashings of street cred (no, really - they did!) Ever the snooty "I heard them first!" indie kid, I actually thought they "sold out" when Bad Boys was released (with the following year's Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go coming as the final betrayal). But the true classic here has to be Eminem's Lose Yourself - one of his most arresting singles to date, and one of my favourite singles from the past couple of months. I love its epic, widescreen quality, which lifts it above some of his more routine whinings (such as the ultimately annoying Cleaning Out My Closet). My votes: 1 - Eminem. 2 - Wham! 3 - Focus. 4 - Brenda Lee. 5 - Rolf Harris. K's votes are in the comments box below. Over to you. Remember - no tied places, and no omissions. Will Rolf Harris surprise us all, and provide the 1990s with a second consecutive victory? Democracy is a strange and wonderful thing. Running totals so far - Number 9s. 2003: Lose Yourself - Eminem. (110) His politics are appalling, but his skill with rhythms and internal rhymes make him the only white boy who can rap. (Asta) easily his best single after stan. to everybody carping about him being a dickhead - isn't that the point? but the boy can rap. (Noodle) It really is a shame to lose your chance to blow. (Junio) And I was sure the Naughties were crap. (Gert) 1983: Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do) - Wham! (87) wham invented rap you know. but they also wore those really thin slipper type shoes with jeans rolled up above their ankles. and had big rubbish hair. when this song was out boys called them poofs (dancing round the totp studios with those 2 beards. paul weller married the black one you know). then suddenly they weren't poofs and the boys that called them poofs were packing into wembley stadium to watch ms michael pull shuttlecocks from under his foreskin. these comments are littered with inaccuracies. sorry. (Dave) Wham! A couple of Dole Boyz from Norff London being cocky and in-yer-face. If you were around in Thatcher's Britain at the time then you'll know they got it exactly right. "So you don't approve? Who asked you to?" Abso-bloody-lutely perfect. (Nigel R (the UK one)) Sorry I can't vote, as I will not listen to Wham. (Peter) 1963: All Alone Am I - Brenda Lee. (77) Heart-broken divas get me crying into my gin and tonic every time. But this is just so run-of-the-mill, the pap churned out by the ton in the early sixties. (Nigel R (the UK one)) 1973: Sylvia - Focus. (71) Sorry Mike, but Focus made me want to tear my headphones off in a rabid frenzy. (Steve) It's no Hocus Pocus is it. (Stereoboard) Insipid stuff to listen to in the hairdressers. (Nigel R (the UK one)) The reason punk rock was invented. (Gert) Come on, anything with that much Hammond Organ MUST be a good thing. (Gordon) 1993: Stairway To Heaven - Rolf Harris. (45) Good idea until all the young trendies insisted it was cool. (Gert) Rolf, I used to love you for Two Little Boys, but now, for this, you are an idiot. (Stereoboard) "All together now.." AARGH!! (Gordon) Labels: whichdecade03
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Which decade is Tops for Pops? (1/10)
Just under a year ago, I did a comparative evaluation of the Top Ten singles from the same week in five different decades, in an attempt to establish which decade was truly Tops for Pops. (Result at the time: the Seventies.) However, it was a bit of a half-baked job, as I didn't actually bother to sit down and listen to each of the songs before making a decision. In fact, I had never even knowingly heard some of the songs that were listed. Disgraceful, I know.
So this year - and to mark the week of my birthday - I'm going to redo the exercise properly. And this time round, I'm also going to invite your participation. This is how it's going to work, then. I've collected together the entire Top 10 singles for this week in 1963, 1973, 1983, 1993 and 2003. Each day for the next ten days, I will be publishing details of the five matching songs which are up for comparison. Thus today, we'll comparing the singles at #10 in each year - tomorrow will be the #9 singles - and so on, up to the #1 singles on the final day. To make things easier, I'll also be posting a short MP3 medley of the five songs in question, containing around a minute or so of each. Your job is to listen to each song (most probably using the medley MP3) and to cast your votes accordingly in the comments box for that day. You'll need to put all five songs in strict order - no tied positions, and no omissions. Even if you loathe all five songs from the bottom of your soul, you're still going to have to order them somehow. Tough, eh? I will then award points to each song accordingly, using the old "inverse points" method. The total for each song will then be added to the cumulative total for each decade, with the favourite getting 5 points, the second favourite getting 4 points, and so on. Thus at the end of the ten days, we'll have a combined comparative total for each of the five decades. That way, we'll know once and for all...which decade is Tops for Pops! Was all that clear enough? It wasn't? Ach, don't worry too much. You'll get the hang of it soon enough. Here we go with Day One, then: the Number 10 singles for this week in 1963, 1973, 1983, 1993 and 2003. 1963: Sukiyaki - Kenny Ball & His Jazzmen. To kick things off (and just in case nobody else decides to have a go, which is entirely possible), here are my own deliberations.1973: Roll Over Beethoven - Electric Light Orchestra. 1983: Oh Diane - Fleetwood Mac. 1993: Sweet Harmony - The Beloved. 2003: Stop Living The Lie - David Sneddon. Listen to a short medley (about a minute each) of all five songs. The turkey of the pile for me is, quite clearly, David Sneddon. The charts have frequently been riddled with winners of TV talent shows in the past - most notably in the Seventies, when Opportunity Knocks and New Faces were in full swing. Berni Flint, Candlewick Green, Showaddywaddy, Sheer Elegance, Lena Zavaroni...these were the true spiritual heirs of Hear'say, Will Young, Girls Aloud and David Sneddon. The only difference now is that TV talent show winners automatically go to Number 1 rather than Number 8. The songs and performances are usually as crummy as ever, though. Both the Fleetwood Mac and the ELO records are exercises in souped-up 1950's nostalgia, but with wildly varying levels of success. Where ELO rock out, symphonically, Fleetwood Mac merely plop along, drippily. Besides which, without Stevie Nicks on lead vocals, Fleetwood Mac are as nothing. The fragment of ELO on this medley doesn't perhaps do the track full justice; a couple of minutes later, the strings are sawing away in full effect, with a rather wonderful Beethoven's Fifth-style melodic counterpoint to Chuck Berry's original song. It's difficult to say much about the Kenny Ball track other than: It's Trad, Dad. Fairly bog-standard trad, at that - but harmless enough. Which leaves The Beloved. Stylistically and subjectively, the Beloved track is the one that's most up my particular street, being all chugging electro-disco. However, I do have to admit that it's not one of their strongest efforts - too simplistic, too few ideas going on. My votes are as follows, then. 1. ELO 2. The Beloved 3. Kenny Ball 4. Fleetwood Mac 5. David Sneddon. (You'll also find K's votes in the comments box below.) Now it's your turn. Let's sort this out once and for all, shall we? [turns and points to camera] Which decade really is...Tops for Pops? Oh, this could be so much fun! [claps hands together repeatedly, in short swift movements] Running totals so far - Number 10s. 1993: Sweet Harmony - The Beloved. (99) i despised the beloved. and a man called adam. professional ibiza'ers. cnuts. (Dave) 1973: Roll Over Beethoven - Electric Light Orchestra. (90) we admire the craft now, but weren't they always just a bit square? (noodle) I have been known to dance to ELO when I'm drunk. (Stereoboard) 1963: Sukiyaki - Kenny Ball & His Jazzmen. (76) Musically, I just have to say that Kenny Ball is the most interesting of the lot. Reminds me of a Brit-sitcom opening theme, which is good (for me). (trev!) simple and feel-good - got me swinging about pretending to be at a House of Elliot fashion collection launch party. (Luca) Thinking about Kenny Ball brings to mind Mike Yarwood and 1970s Saturday night television variety shows. Bland but unobjectionable. (Junio) by the time kenny released this, Ornette Coleman had already recorded Free Jazz. fuck off you bowler hatted buffoons. (noodle) 1983: Oh Diane - Fleetwood Mac. (58) cinq points (prob'ly just my taste for dead-eyed cocaine divorce shiny emptiness) (noodle) The Reynolds Girls were surely thinking of this when they penned "I'd rather Jack". (Steve) I didn't know Fleetwood Mac ever got this bad. (Stereoboard) They wouldn't do very well on Pop Idol with this, would they. (Junio) 2003: Stop Living The Lie - David Sneddon. (37) I've always thought that 'Oh Diane' by Fleetwood Mac was one of the most banal, awful records ever written. Alas for David Sneddon, he rates lower than that. (Diamond Geezer) who *is* this man? The offspring of a night of passion between Ronan Keating and Marty Pellow? - both not my favourite singers. (Luca) SNEDDON? Come on now, if you're going to do that pop star "catch in your voice" thing, you might as well do the pop star "change your name to something not entirely naff" thing too. Perhaps to something cool like Seddon. (He also sounds like he needs new false teeth whenever he sings a word that begins with S.) (Junio) thanks for shitting all over the grave of pop, dave. now go away and take your chartered accountant's name with you. (noodle) None of these songs sound as if they come from the decade they're supposed to. The Kenny Ball track should come from the fifties, the Beloved one sounds as if it was made in the eighties, I suppose the ELO one in combining fifties rock-n-roll with a sixties Beatles sound could only have been made in the seventies, the Fleetwood Mac one has a sixties sound and the David Sneddon one sounds as though it was recorded in the nineties. (Amanda) Labels: whichdecade03
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