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On Thursday September 17th, I danced on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.
Click here to watch, and here to listen. Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Which Decade: Cumulative scores, after five years.
(Click here to view all of this year's Which Decade posts on one page.)
And finally, here are the scores which matter the most. At the top of the table, the 1960s take over the lead from the 1970s, by the most slender of margins. At the bottom of the table, the 2000s increase their lead over the 1990s - but with a 26 point gap between third and fourth place, the 2000s face an almost impossible struggle. 1 (2) The 1960s - 168 points. 2 (1) The 1970s - 166 points. 3 (3) The 1980s - 159 points. 4 (4) The 2000s - 133 points. 5 (5) The 1990s - 125 points. With two more years of the Which Decade still to run, I'm predicting an upswing for the 1970s - especially when we reach 1979, one of the greatest years ever for chart pop. (Generational bias, you say?) Nevertheless, there's still plenty of fight left in the 1960s, and who knows what as yet undreamed of heights the 2000s might reach? As for the 1980s and 1990s, it's going to be very much down to the luck of the draw, combined with your tolerance for commercial dance and the collective works of Stock, Aitken and Waterman. Thanks to all who have voted, and particularly to all those who have left comments along the way: Adrian, Alan, Amanda, asta, Ben, betty, Chig, chris, Clare, David, diamond geezer, Dymbel, Geoff, Gert, Hedgie, jeff w, jo, JonnyB, Koen, Lionel d'Lion, loomer, Lyle, Marcos, NiC, Oliver, Pam, robert, robin, Sarah, Simon C, Simon & The City, Stereoboard, SwissToni, TGI Paul, Will and z. Why, you've been quite the little community. Thank you also for playing so nicely, and not getting all het up like some other online music forums I could mention. As always, a selection of your comments has been appended to the respective final scores for all 50 of this year's songs. For the hardcore stats-geeks among you - and don't roll your eyes, I've had requests - here's the spreadsheet which I've been using to collate this year's scores. (Is that OK for you, Clare?) Join me next February, as our glorious mission enters its sixth year, bringing us ever closer to finding the answer to that eternal question: Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? We now return you to your regular scheduled programming. Labels: whichdecade07
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Which Decade: your Top Ten and your Bottom Five.
(Positions are calculated by dividing the numbers of points scored by the number of people voting on that particular day.)
1. Don't Leave Me This Way - Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes. 2. Strawberry Fields Forever/Penny Lane - The Beatles. 3. I'm A Believer - The Monkees. 4. Grace Kelly - Mika. 5. Let's Spend The Night Together - Rolling Stones. 6. Daddy Cool - Boney M. 7. Mellow Yellow - Donovan. 8. Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Julie Covington. 9. Boogie Nights - Heatwave. 10. Same Jeans - The View. 46. I Wanna Love You - Akon featuring Snoop Dogg. 47. The Music Of The Night - Michael Crawford. 48. Heartache - Pepsi & Shirlie. 49. I Shot The Sheriff - Warren G. 50. Stay Out Of My Life - Five Star. (Note that there is nothing from the 1980s or the 1990s in the Top Ten, and three songs from the 1980s in the Bottom Five.) Labels: whichdecade07
Which decade is Tops for Pops? - THE WINNER.
1st place - The 1960s. (34 points)
2006: 2nd place, 37 points. 2005: 2nd place, 33 points. 2004: 1st place, 36 points. 2003: 3rd place, 28 points. 10. Mellow Yellow - Donovan. 5 points. 9. Matthew And Son - Cat Stevens. 3 points. 8. Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron - Royal Guardsmen. 1 point, least popular. 7. Peek-A-Boo - New Vaudeville Band. 3 points. 6. Let's Spend The Night Together - Rolling Stones. 5 points. 5. Strawberry Fields Forever/Penny Lane - The Beatles. 5 points, most popular. 4. Here Comes My Baby - The Tremeloes. 4 points. 3. I'm A Believer - The Monkees. 5 points. 2. Release Me - Engelbert Humperdinck. 2 points. 1. This Is My Song - Petula Clark. 1 point.  Whereas our 2007 Top 10 was consistently OK but rarely spectacular (unless you count "Same Jeans" and "Grace Kelly" as "spectacular"), our 1967 Top 10 veers wildly between godawful corniness and genre-defining transcendence, rarely pausing for half measures. It's also our most optimistic selection, as befits the relative innocence of the times.  Congratulations, 1967. You sat on the cusp, hinted at the best of what was to come, and reaped the benefits accordingly. Just be warned, though: you might not find things quite so easy in a year's time. Labels: whichdecade07
Which decade is Tops for Pops? - the results.
2nd place - The 2000s. (32 points)
2006: Equal 4th place, 21 points. 2005: 4th place, 27 points. 2004: 5th place, 26 points. 2003: 4th place, 27 points. 10. The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani featuring Akon. 1 point. 9. I Wanna Love You - Akon featuring Snoop Dogg. 2 points, least popular. 8. Same Jeans - The View. 5 points. 7. Too Little Too Late - Jojo. 4 points. 6. How To Save A Life - The Fray. 2 points. 5. Exceeder - Mason. 4 points. 4. This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy. 2 points. 3. Starz In Their Eyes - Just Jack. 3 points. 2. Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs. 4 points. 1. Grace Kelly - Mika. 5 points, most popular.  For why else would the 2000s, after four years of ignominy, suddenly spring into life in 2007? The answer has to lie, in part if not in whole, with the recent changes in the way that the chart is compiled, and with the shift in the singles market from CD to MP3. Under the new rules, songs can qualify for inclusion in the charts even if they aren't available as physical CD singles. That "Top 40" display rack in Woolworth's, Virgin and HMV? It has been rendered null and void, ever since Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" reached Number One in April 2006 on downloads alone. Until the start of 2007, songs were only allowed to chart on downloads if a full CD release was planned for the following week. Now that rule has been scrapped, the whole notion of a single as existing in a physical format has been sabotaged. Any song, from any era, so long as it can be downloaded as a single entity from a legal source, can qualify for inclusion. At a stroke, this demolishes the short-term marketing strategies which had contributed so effectively to the devaluation of the Top 40 over the last ten years or so, and whose early effects can be detected in our 1997 selection. The techniques of building up demand through pre-release airplay, or of mobilising a committed fan base to snap up multiple format copies of a single in its first week, or of heavy first-week discounting to ensure a speedy purchase - all of these fall by the wayside, if all we have to do is log on to the iTunes music store as soon as we hear something we like, search, click, and cough up our standard 79 pence.  How could all of this not lead to a rise in the overall quality of the Top Ten, if only from the perspective of an older audience such as thee and me? You may not personally care for all of the singles featured in our representative sample, but you have to admit that they're a diverse and interesting bunch, with next to nothing in the way of out and out crap. (Yes, even that Akon and Snoop single works, in its own way.) Basically, I can see a reason why people would genuinely like all of these tunes - and that's not something that I've been able to say for a lot of the shit that the 2000s have flung at us thus far. ("Reminisce" by Blazin' Squad, I'm looking at YOU.) And so I, for one, am rejoicing. For if the 2000s still have it in them to finish second, then that suggests two things. Firstly, that the quality of chart pop music is not in a state of inexorable decline after all. Secondly, that the readers of this site - few of whom are under 25 - aren't incapable of appreciating and fairly evaluating new pop music, even long after they have ceased to "follow the charts". It gives me hope, people. Labels: whichdecade07
Monday, March 05, 2007
Which decade is Tops for Pops? - the results.
3rd place - The 1970s. (31 points)
2006: 1st place, 38 points. 2005: 3rd place, 30 points. 2004: 2nd place, 31 points. 2003: 1st place, 35 points + 1 tiebreak point. 10. Chanson D'Amour - Manhattan Transfer. 2 points. 9. Daddy Cool - Boney M. 5 points. 8. Jack In the Box - Moments. 2 points. 7. Don't Leave Me This Way - Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes. 5 points, most popular. 6. Boogie Nights - Heatwave. 4 points. 5. Isn't She Lovely - David Parton. 2 points, least popular. 4. Side Show - Barry Biggs. 1 point. 3. Don't Give Up On Us - David Soul. 2 points. 2. Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Julie Covington. 5 points. 1. When I Need You - Leo Sayer. 3 points. (Boring statistical aside: Although David Parton scored 2 points and Barry Biggs only scored 1 point, David Parton has the least popular song, as derived by dividing the total number of points by the total number of voters on that day.)  But, I ask you, just look at this creaking load of smarmy smoothies. Simpering David Soul. Bleating Leo Sayer. Over-enunciating Julie Covington. Vacuum-packed swing from the twinkly-toed Man Tran. Carbon-copy ersatz soul from hired hack David Parton. Chicken-in-a-basket Philly Disco from the frizzed and frilled Moments, and boil-in-the-bag Euro Disco from the PLASTIC PRODUCTION LINE PUPPETS known as Boney M. Limp pop-reggae from Barry Biggs, a thousand miles away from the groundbreaking likes of Lee Perry, Culture, Burning Spear, all busy Chanting Down Babylon as the Two Sevens Clash.  Yes indeed. Crisis, what crisis? As long as we could all Get Up And Boogie at the Best Disco In Town, all was far from doom and gloom in 1977. So never mind those FILTHY FOUL-MOUTHED YOBS spitting and swearing, and those BLASTED UNIONS HOLDING THE COUNTRY TO RANSOM, because we had a lovely Silver Jubilee to look forward to, and street parties to plan! Ra-da-da-da-dah! Labels: whichdecade07
Which decade is Tops for Pops? - the results.
4th place - The 1980s. (27 points)
2006: 3rd place, 33 points. 2005: 1st place, 34 points. 2004: 3rd place, 30 points. 2003: 2nd place, 35 points. 10. I Love My Radio - Taffy. 3 points. 9. The Music Of The Night - Michael Crawford. 1 point. 8. Running In The Family - Level 42. 3 points. 7. Stay Out Of My Life - Five Star. 1 point, least popular. 6. It Doesn't Have To Be This Way - Blow Monkeys. 3 points. 5. Almaz - Randy Crawford. 3 points. 4. Male Stripper - Man 2 Man featuring Man Parrish. 5 points, most popular. 3. Heartache - Pepsi & Shirlie. 1 point. 2. Down To Earth - Curiosity Killed The Cat. 3 points. 1. I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) - George Michael & Aretha Franklin. 4 points.  It was February 1987, and Great Britain had, allegedly, Never Had It So Good. To ensure a landslide victory for the Conservative Party in the forthcoming general election, Chancellor Nigel Lawson had over-heated the economy to a degree which bordered on the reckless. The ace in his pack was the systematic privatisation of publicly owned utilities - a policy which sought to make grubby, short-termist shareholders of us all, with nothing more elevated on our minds than making a nice little return on our investments. This had coincided with the "Big Bang" in the City of London, which deregulated the financial markets and led to a feverish rush of share-dealing. London property prices were beginning to move sharply upwards, and the post-Election stock market crash known as "Black Monday" was still eight months away. The age of the Yuppie was upon us: an almost mythical figure, to whom we were all encouraged to aspire. The "If You See Sid, Tell Him" campaign for the privatisation of British Gas was possibly Yuppie culture's defining moment, ushering in a bizarre period in which it was seen as deeply cool to be working in advertising.  In other words, something like Curiosity Killed The Cat, Five Star and Pepsi & Shirlie (if you were young); George Michael and Level 42 (slightly older); Crawfords Randy and Michael (older still) - or, for the champagne socialists, the Blow Monkeys (but stick them on the CD player during your dinner party, and no-one would be any the wiser). Dance music? You'll be wanting some latter-day Hi-NRG cheapo knock-offs, suitable for swinging your gold lame puffballs down at Stringfellows. 1987: you were the last gasp of Eighties Style Pop, which had begun so promisingly at the start of the decade (ABC, Human League, Soft Cell), but whose initial attempts at daring, subversion, and wit had gradually rendered down to mere vapid meretriciousness. And as for any musical legacy: this year's unpredecented fourth place speaks volumes. Labels: whichdecade07
Which decade is Tops for Pops? - the results.
5th place - The 1990s. (26 points)
2006: Equal 4th place, 21 points. 2005: 5th place, 26 points. 2004: 4th place, 27 points. 2003: 5th place, 25 points. 10. Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub - Apollo Four Forty. 4 points. 9. Remember Me - Blue Boy. 4 points. 8. Barrel Of A Gun - Depeche Mode. 4 points, most popular. 7. Ain't Nobody - LL Cool J. 2 points. 6. I Shot The Sheriff - Warren G. 1 point, least popular. 5. Clementine - Mark Owen. 1 point. 4. Don't Let Go (Love) - En Vogue. 3 points. 3. Don't Speak - No Doubt. 4 points. 2. Where Do You Go - No Mercy. 1 point. 1. Discotheque - U2. 2 points.  I was expecting a much stronger result for the 1990s this year - especially after the first few rounds of voting, which actually placed them in the lead for a couple of days. There was a brief moment of resurgence towards the end, thanks to reasonable showings from En Vogue and No Doubt - but the combined weight of No Mercy and U2 dragged the decade back down from second place to last place, in just two days. Whereas all our other decades managed to produce at least one winning song, the 1990s never finished any higher than second place - something which they managed four times (Apollo Four Forty, Blue Boy, Depeche Mode and No Doubt). Thanks to Warren G, Mark Owen and No Mercy, they also managed to finish last on three occasions. Personally, I think 1997 has been rather hard done by. Looking through the ten songs, I'm struck both by the lack of so-called "manufactured" pop, and by the comparatively uncommercial nature of many of the tracks. "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub" and "Remember Me" are club tracks with substance; neither pander to obvious crowd-pleasing formulas. "Barrel of a Gun" and "Discotheque" are similarly uncompromising rock tracks, which make no concessions to daytime radio-friendliness. "Don't Let Go (Love)" and "Don't Speak" are mature ballads, which favour emotional integrity over stock schlockiness.  However, "stretching" does not necessarily equate to "enduring", and it has been interesting to discover how little some of these tracks are remembered. The age of high new entries and rapid descents was upon us, with its consequent devaluing of the upper end of the charts. "Ain't Nobody" and "Discotheque" might have reached Number One - but most of us have struggled to remember them, even just ten years on. 1997 was also the year when the Britpop wave started to recede. Blur pointedly turned their back on the genre, and started looking towards American alt-rock acts such as Pavement for inspiration. Oasis brought out the disasterous cocaine-nosebleed that was Be Here Now, and lost ground which they have never fully recovered. Pulp were on extended hiatus, pending the release of the similarly career-dampening This Is Hardcore in 1998. Instead, the year belonged to Radiohead's OK Computer and The Verve's Urban Hymns, two albums whose weighty solemnity signalled that the party was drawing to an end. By the end of the year, the Spice Girls were straddling the globe, paving the way for the resurgence of Robbie Williams in 1998, and for the rise of pure pop acts such as Steps and B*Witched. 1997 thus stands as something of a high water mark for "credibility" in the charts - which is precisely why I was predicting a good result. Perhaps you're all a good deal more Pop than I had given you credit for. Labels: whichdecade07
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - voting deadline.
"Closing date for voting will be in a few days time. I haven't yet decided when." Very well, Clare. Let it never be said that Which Decade is ever anything but whiter-than-white.Um... sorry for being picky, but this is screaming SETUP! at me. Will your decision be based at all on the decades you fancy looking like they're in with a chance? Hmmm? Only joking. I know you wouldn't do such a thing. But maybe an early announcement would prevent any more unsavoury speculation... The voting deadline for this year's Which Decade is Sunday night (March 4, 2007). Let the unsavoury speculations cease forthwith. Labels: whichdecade07
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 1s.
What a eventful Which Decade it has been thus far. As we enter the final round, all eyes are on the mid-table tussle between the 1970s, 1990s and 2000s. It already looks certain that our most recent two decades will, for the first time ever, not occupy the bottom two places - but more excitingly than that, there's a very real chance that one of them might end up finishing in second place. Just how consensus-busting is that, pop-pickers?
Shall we crack on? Bring 'em out - it's the Number Ones! 1967: This Is My Song - Petula Clark. (video, in French) As with the Hump, so with Our Pet. Sitting at Number One in 1967, we find - possibly to our slight dismay, given the excitement of the lower positions - a second consecutive Forces Family Favourite, performed by that doyenne of the Light Programme, Miss Petula Clark. 1977: When I Need You - Leo Sayer. (video, in a tree, with Muppets) 1987: I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) - George Michael & Aretha Franklin. (video) 1997: Discotheque - U2. (video) 2007: Grace Kelly - Mika. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. To further underline its pre-rock-and-roll credentials, "This Is My Song" was composed by none other than Charlie Chaplin, who had originally envisaged it as the instrumental theme from his final movie, A Countess In Hong Kong. Having penned some English lyrics to sit over the top, Chaplin was all set to offer the song to Al Jolson, unaware that he had passed away 17 years earlier. Thus thwarted (and it allegedly took a photo of Jolson's grave to convince him), the song was next offered to Chaplin's neighbour in Switzerland, the aforementioned Miss Clark. Never exactly thrilled with the English lyrics (and who could blame her, for with all its beatific talk of smiling flowers, one wonders whether Chaplin was conducting some era-appropriate psychedelic experiments of his own), Clark soon took to performing the song in French as much as possible - as evidenced by the video which I've linked to above. Meanwhile, a rival version by Harry Secombe entered the charts in March, overtaking Petula's version a few weeks later, and eventually peaking at Number Two. All of which is a lot more interesting than "This Is My Song" itself. Good grief, 1967. What were you thinking? "Everybody loves Leo!" (Leo Sayer, 2007) My Crypto-Maoist Year Zero Punk Rocker fifteen-year old self might have been wrong about "Daddy Cool" and "Boogie Nights", but he's not about to make any posthumous concessions to "When I Need You". Boring then, boring now. Next! Poor old Aretha Franklin. Having been roped in by Annie Lennox to add a bit of weight to "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves", she was now doing the same thing for George Michael: another early 1980s pop star who was busily trying to swap delusions of Style and Subversion for delusions of Authenicity, Passion and Commitment. "I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" is an OK enough tune, but it doesn't half sag under the weight of its own "meeting of the giants" self-importance, what the Ross/Turner-invoking references to "rivers", "mountains" and "valleys". Don't be blinded by nostalgia, Voters Of A Certain Age! Let us now turn to the vexed question of U2: a band whose lumbering earnestness turned me right off in the 1980s, and whose equally lumbering attempts at corrective "irony" turned me off equally in the 1990s. (Although I will concede that the not-too-earnest, not-too-silly synthesis of their 2000s work really hasn't been too bad at all.) Come on, now: "Discotheque" is basically a collection of admittedly quite groovy noises in search of a song, isn't it? Well, can you remember how it goes? Thought not. And so, finally to Mika: an act upon whom I have resisted Forming A Position for quite long enough. Having been perfectly vile about all of our other Number Ones, it would only be fair to be equally vile about "Grace Kelly". However, not only I am absolutely f**king desperate for the 2000s to come second, I am also quite fond of this arch little show-tune confection, which makes a pleasingly theatrical Grand Finale to this year's offerings. It communicates little beyond "I Am The Fabulous Multi-Talented Mika, And You Must Love Me As Much As I Love Myself" - but in pop, we can allow that. For the course of a single, at least. (As for the album, I'm with Pete: rarely has an act got on my tits as rapidly as this uppity charlatan. Oh wait, I forgot about Joanna Newsom.) My votes: Mika - 5 points. George Michael & Aretha Franklin - 4 points. U2 - 3 points. Leo Sayer - 2 points. Petula Clark - 1 point. This is it, then. The final vote. Unless late votes on the other rounds throw a spanner in the works - and they still quite easily might - the 1960s would appear to have it in the bag, although I'm forecasting last place for Pet. Meanwhile, the nostalgia factor might well give the 1980s a final shot in the arm. But whither the 2000s? Where do you stand on Mika? Or will you defend U2 against my heinous slurs? Or does everybody really love Leo? Over to you. Running totals so far - Number 1s. 2007: Grace Kelly - Mika (119) Absolutely love this - a perfect pop single. Still haven't tired of it after hours of over-exposure. (Sarah) Best by a mile. Always makes me smile. I have even been known to dance round the kitchen to this song. (Clare) Until Sarah played me this on Saturday night, I had so far completely avoided this record. I hated Mika entirely on the basis that his album cover screamed "SWISS, YOU ARE GOING TO DESPISE THIS RECORD" to me. I found him irritating in the extreme after about 5 tracks, but I have to admit that this record works for me. Top marks! (SwissToni) I haven't heard the Mika album and have no intention of doing so. But as a one-off, the return of pomp and circumstance to the charts that is "Grace Kelly" is very welcome. I think it's a bit unfair that everyone seems to have latched on the "Why don't you like me?" line and translated that as: Mika just wants everyone to love him. I'm prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that the sentiment is directed only at the significant other of the song's narrator. Above all, however, "Grace Kelly" is great to sing along to - which I always do when it comes on the radio, even (especially) the falsetto bits! (jeff w) First time I heard this, not so long ago, I did think it was Scissor Sisters for a moment, then, ooo there's a touch of Freddie M there. So I went to find more. Big mistake. But this has an ascending notes earworm quality that's catchy enough. (asta) So this is the latest hot thing of 2007? That's neat that's neat that's neat, I really love your Tyger Feet. Not sure what it's got to do with one of the icons of the 20th century. A bit worrying that I like it because of its resemblance to Mud...Don't feel a need ever to hear it again, though. (Gert) This could just be one of those infectious pop songs that I love at the time, and then spend a decade avoiding until its rehabilitation in WDITFP (so what's going to happen to it if WDITFP will be retired by then?!?), but this is its time, so today it wins. (Adrian) Reprises some of the sounds of the sixties and seventies that we've heard in these charts. (Amanda) Who else could marry Ben Folds and the Darkness? (Geoff) Takes away the Scissor Sisters' classiness and chucks in the kitchen sink. (betty) He has one other good song - "Relax (Take It Easy)". I'm quite shocked at how bad - and how derivative (the Scissor Sisters should sue) the rest of the album is. It's nicely arranged, but talk about polishing a turd... (mike) The worst song of the year, completely hideous. Like a nightmarish cross between The Darkness and Scissor Sisters – the “so I try a little Freddie mmm” bit is particularly cringeworthy. This is one earworm I’d rather be without! (loomer) 1987: I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) - George Michael & Aretha Franklin (96) Not exactly a classic, but so much better than the competition. I like this a lot. It's well written. I'm not a big Aretha fan but she's a talented professional. And George! (Gert) Well, at least they can both bloody sing. (betty) At the time, I think he needed her more than she needed him. (diamond geezer) I can't quite believe that Aretha did this song, but that voice is just sensational, even on this material. They're not a terribly believable pair either are they? (SwissToni) I haven't thought much of anything recorded by her since, oh, 1972. She coasted on her Queen of Soul wheels all through the 80s and it's evident in this song. Still. It's Aretha. Oh yeah, there's somebody else on this song too. He doesn't muck it up too much so, yes second place. (asta) Regardless that it's a bad song and has a typically bad eighties production, it's still Aretha and she's still got the greatest soul voice ever. (Alan) Aretha was quite rubbish in the 80s wasn’t she? A long way from either’s best, but catchy enough 80s pop. (loomer) The soundtrack to a bad St Elmo's Fire rip-off. And that's very bad. (David) 1977: When I Need You - Leo Sayer (79) I like the pared-down sound of this. It's a bit schmalzy, but the simple instrumentation doesn't overpower the vocals and I think that results in a well-executed love song. (Adrian) Even at age 11 going on 12 and too young really to notice much of what was going on, I still felt instinctively that this ballad was aimed more at my parents' generation than at me. What saves it now, as with a couple of other singles in the '77 top 10, is the superb craftsmanship of the recording. The song may be a bit of a turd, but it's a highly polished one. (jeff w) A soppy classic, was this Carole Bayer Sager? Remember it more now for Will Mellor singing it in Hollyoaks and taking it to the charts Robson & Jerome-style, a telling fate. (loomer) I rather liked him up until this point. Indeed I own "The Show Must go On", "Moonlighting" and "Long Tall Glasses" on 7". But I think he wrote those ones. But not this. (NiC) Re. earlier Leo Sayer: "One Man Band" was the one for me - and I agree that "When I Need You" marks the moment where he ceased being interesting. (mike) There's a video of Leo singing You Make Me Feel Like Dancing wearing a skin tight cap sleeved t shirt and disgusting jersey trousers, through which you can see his nipples, his navel and the not very enticing Sayer crown jewels. I've just checked it on YouTube and the picture quality isn't good enough to see the full horror. Thank God. (betty) I bet they'd have featured this on Crackerjack (I don't think this stands in its favour). (diamond geezer) Whining and annoying. Okay, it's not totally bad, but I could happily live a lifetime without ever hearing this cheesy contraption again. (Gert) This song annoyed me for months when it was released. It still has the power to make me grit my teeth. (asta) How could the muppets descend so low? Yuck - I've always hated this whingey whiney dirge. (Hedgie) An artist I hated from the very word go. Didn't you just love it on Celeb Big Bruv when he said "I was like Rod Stewart and Elton John, I played in the same league." No, Leo luv, you really didn't, you squeaky-voiced little shortarse. (Alan) 1997: Discotheque - U2 (69) Loved this and still do. Bless - hooray for them for trying to loosen up. (Hedgie) It's not prime U2 by any means, and it's off a pretty poor album, but I have to say that I love the swagger of the Edge's guitar on this song. Bono's a burk, but the Edge alone puts this song above the rest of this stuff. I love that sensible Larry Mullen was forced to wear a lyra muscleman top for the pop tour, and that he usually covered it up with a black vest! (SwissToni) Although I love some of their tracks (and the early albums) - I've never been an obsessive follower of their work. This one just passes me by. (Sarah) The U2 song has interesting things going on in the background, but by this stage of their careers the band stood for everything that was rotten in the state of pop and thus, even now, must be discouraged at all costs. (jeff w) I am a U2 fan, but this was about the time they lost it for me. I couldn't understand why such a talented group of rockers was producing commercial pap, without the self-aware irony of the Pet Shop Boys. (Gert) I actually bought this album on the strength of this single. What strength? I could swear I have never ever heard this track in my life. (David) This was a single? How did that happen? This would have been the end for most bands. (asta) They've made a bit of a comeback in the last few years. This was what they came back from. The absolute low point of their entire career. (Alan) The most overrated band of all time, this is just a rubbish retread of “The Fly”, and I suppose “Vertigo” is a retread of this. Fairly horrible, especially the video, god they’re ugly. There was a Morales mix though, so all is not lost. (loomer) That bit of guitar on the extended version of New Year's Day. That's the only thing I've ever liked by U2. (betty) Discotheque? I'd love to dance to this. On Bono's head. (Geoff) 1967: This Is My Song - Petula Clark (57) I know someone who said her voice was better than Dusty, which I thought was total sacrilege. But she is rather good I suppose. No surprise that there’s a French version, it’s very reminiscent of Piaf. Quite like it, but hardly the most memorable of no 1s. (loomer) Sounds like it comes from the fifties rather than the sixties. (Amanda) I don't remember this version, I do remember the Harry Secombe one. Chaplin's songs were always sickly sweet and syrupy, and the only way to pull them off is to sing them with a hefty dose of world-weary cynicism (Smile is the classic example). Petula is just too nicey-nice for it. Actually, Piaf would have been perfect. (Alan) I like the tune, but words should never have been added. (z) The instrumentation is deeply irritating. Pet's voice is fine, but she's no Dusty for me. (SwissToni) This is an earworm of the worst kind. My Dad, whose taste in music was in all other respects admirable, had a weak spot for Petula. I think he had a crush on her. Whatever. Downtown I could handle, but this was beyond the pale. As a point of trivia-- Petula performed in Montreal last March. She's still adored here. Her concert was almost entirely in French. No, I didn't go. (asta) Although she has a good voice, I was never really aware that she'd released anything other than 'Downtown'. If they're all like this - she probably shouldn't have bothered. (Sarah) Shame it's not a song, just an arrangement of black dots on a stave. The intervals are all wrong. I think I once wrote a song like that. And the balalaika (or whatever) accompaniment is just incongruous. (Gert) Decade scores so far (after 9 days). 1 (1) The 1960s (33) -- Flowers are smiling bright! Smiling for our delight! 2 (4) The 1970s (28) -- I never knew there was so much love, keeping me warm night and day! 3 (2) The 2000s (27) -- Should I bend over? Should I look older, just to be put on your shelf? 4 (2) The 1990s (24) -- You can reach, but you can't grab it! You can't hold it, control it, you can't bag it! 5 (5) The 1980s (23) -- When I think of all those disappointments, I just laugh! I just laugh! Labels: whichdecade07
Monday, February 26, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 2s.
The Beatles. The Rolling Stones. The Monkees. Donovan. Cat Stevens. With that kind of line-up, is it any wonder that the 1960s have been steaming ahead?
With just two days to go, that might all be about to change. Without wishing to get all Gillian McKeith on you, shall we examine the Number Twos? 1967: Release Me - Engelbert Humperdinck. As played at the wedding of some dear friends of ours (anyone remember the story of Ron and Yvonne?), Engelbert Humperdinck's "Release Me" famously kept The Beatles off the Number One slot, in an act of pop injustice which rivals only the "Vienna"/"Shaddup You Face" debacle of 1981 and the Rod Stewart/Sex Pistols scandal of 1977 for the levels of froth-mouthed outrage which it has inspired. And as epoch-defining chart battles go, The Fabs versus The Hump in 67 easily tops the minor local skirmish that was Blur versus Oasis in 1995. (Hell, it even tops Girls Aloud versus One True Voice in 2002, and that's really saying something.)1977: Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Julie Covington. 1987: Down To Earth - Curiosity Killed The Cat. (video) 1997: Where Do You Go - No Mercy. (video) 2007: Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. Epoch-defining? Hell, yeah. This was Hipsters versus Squares, long-haired layabouts versus Forces Family Favourites, the post-war "never had it so good" generation versus the pre-war "we didn't fight the Battle of Britain for this" generation. And The Hump walked it. Personally, I can't listen to "Release Me" without experiencing certain olfactory side-effects: Mister Sheen on teak veneer, Blue Grass by Elizabeth Arden, over-boiled cabbage, and the faintest top notes of stale urine. But maybe that's just me. Sir Andrew Lloyd-Webber's second contribution to this year's Which Decade comes as a salutary reminder that occasionally - not often, but occasionally - he is capable of knocking out a bloody good tune, and "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" stands as his greatest achievement. Or does it? Perhaps the song's greatness is more attributable to Tim Rice's lyrics - sorry darlings, libretto - and most particularly, to Julie Covington's absolutely spot-on performance. She doesn't overdo it, you see. There's a controlled, un-showy integrity to it. She serves the song, not the other way round. In my tortured teenage years, I managed to twist most song lyrics around so that they became All About Me And My Unique Unrequited Suffering, and "Argentina" was one of the prime examples. God knows how I did it. But, y'know, it still means a lot. Let's not delve further. Lloyd-Webber is not the only svengali figure from our Number Nines round to make a return in the Number Twos, either. Step forward Frank Farian: the man behind Boney M in the late 70s, Milli Vanilli in the late 80s... and in the late 90s, No Mercy, a Latino three-piece vocal group from Miami. "Where Do You Go" is unashamedly corny Europop, what with its Eurovision-esque Spanish guitars and its 1980s Italo-disco "woh-oh-ohs", and I vaguely seem to remember being massively irritated by it at the time. Ten years on, and the kindly, forgiving Eurovision fan in me finds it perversely enjoyable. Last time round, Frank from Germany whupped Our Andrew's sorry ass. For this re-match, I'm confidently predicting that the tables will be turned. During the latter part of 1985, Curiosity Killed The Cat had enjoyed a good deal of attention in the all-important "style press" of the day, leading eager style queenlets such as I to expect something rather special. Plus the band - with the possible exception of gangly lead singer Ben Vol-Au-Vent Poltroon - were droolsomely gorgeous looking in a clean-cut smoothie kind of way, which always helps. You can therefore imagine my disappointment when "Down To Earth" was revealed as yet another drippy, ploppy, piddling little piece of clueless yuppie-pop nonsense, which communicates nothing but its own everything-just-SO self-satisfaction. "You're shattered by the final frame of the movie scene that generates your every aim." Whatever you say, Mister Vol-Au-Vent Poltroon. And so to cheeky chappy Britpop revivalists the Kaiser Chiefs, serving up the sort of cheery knees-up that you could easily imagine as the opening performance on TFI Friday in 1997. "Ruby" isn't really about anything much, other than a vague sense of emotional nothingness at the end of a seemingly insignificant relationship. It's a kind of extended shrug; a "so that was that then, now I'm off out with the lads". And that's only if you listen closely - when actually, the track is nothing more or less than another sloshing-about-at-the-indie-disco party tune, to stick on the same playlist as "Same Jeans". For some of you, that's not nearly enough. For me, it'll do nicely for now. My votes: Julie Covington - 5 points. Kaiser Chiefs - 4 points. No Mercy - 3 points. Curiosity Killed The Cat - 2 points. Engelbert Humperdinck - 1 point. Over to you. With three first places and one second place over the last four rounds, the 1960s are surging ahead - but will The Hump stop them in their tracks? The 2000s are still looking useful, and I'm expecting the Kaiser Chiefs to keep them well in the game. Having sagged badly in the middle rounds, the 1990s are staging a major comeback - but could La Covington lead a rear-guard action for the established order? And at this late stage, can anything to be done to save the 1980s? Mister Vol-Au-Vent Poltroon and your sorry Stu-Stu-Studio-Lined lackeys, you're letting not just yourselves but your whole decade down. Running totals so far - Number 2s. 1977: Don't Cry For Me Argentina - Julie Covington (122) I haven't heard Julie's version for years, but it is still the version all others are measured against. My recall of its superiority seems to be justified. And I'd like to think it's thanks to Rice and Covington too and not the sqitty Webber bloke. (NiC) I'd like to share a thought about the lyrics to DCFMA. Well, more a story wot I heard on the radio once. See, I never thought those lyrics made much sense, and although that may be OK for Noel Gallagher it's not something Tim Rice ever did. Well, you can't much in a musical can you? The song was originally called "It's Only Your Lover Returning" a lyric which stood in place of the first line of the chorus each time until the end. Which makes sense of the second line "the truth is, I never left you". ALW liked the Argentina line better, and one blazing row later they all went back to the studio the next day and inserted the other line, every time. Partly a lyrical choice but also because the musicality of the line is different. "Don't" fell on beat one but "It's only" fell before the bar line - hence weaker to ALW's ears. And let's face it his ears are his strong point. Try it. (robin) This has been part of my life almost as long as Tina Charles' 'I Love To love' - I think Elaine Page first introduced it to me, or was it the Argentine Fans at the world cup final when I was a kid? Anyway, I've sung this in the shower more times than any other record I think (i'm sure it pip's Abba's 'Waterloo' and Robbie's 'Angels' to the top of the shower chart!) Oh, the number of times i've been on that balcony in Buenos Aires - with Head and Shoulders in my hair... (Simon & The City) I think I'm voting for some of these songs on the strength of a memory-jogging emotional response. I'm taken straight back to a cosy 70s childhood, tea in the kitchen with radio 2 on in the background. (Sarah) "Don't Cry For me, Argentina" isn't my favourite slice of Lloyd Webber it must be said, but who after reading this essay by Tom Ewing wouldn't give it maximum points? (jeff w) A timeless classic; ALW's best moment. I enjoyed Madonna in the movie, but Julie Covington's is still the definitive account of this song. (Hedgie) Somehow she makes it 'her song', and not even Madonna can wrest that away from her. (diamond geezer) Better than Madge's (but what isn't), though not as good as Donna or Sinéad, but probably the definitive straight reading of what is perhaps shclokmeister Andrew Lloyd Weber’s best tune and at least she isn’t Elaine bloody Paige. Btw - check this "obituary" of Andrew Lloyd Webber, not very kind! (loomer) This voice is too pure and clear to ever sell the line ' Couldn't stay all my life down at heel'. Give me Patti Lupone any day--Elaine Paige in a pinch. This was the last ALW production I have had any time for. Once he and Tim Rice parted ways it was all shlock. (asta) I loved the 'Rock Follies' tv show. Asta's right about this one. Julie's all wrong for the Evita role. (Amanda) I agree it's not as good as Sinead's version. But she was one of the Rock Follies and thus one third of a great deal of my teenage masturbatory fantasyland. (Alan) Sure, good voice, but some of those vowel sounds really grate and I agree that the voice doesn't fit the song. Vastly overhyped at the time and I still don't like it. (z) I really dislike her voice; that swinging between little girl breathiness (but no Marilyn) and that harsh grating metallic sound. A memorable tune, especially a stupid Goodies sketch - 'Don't Cry for Me Marge and Tina'. I do so like the David Essex 'Oh What a Circus'. Possibly because I fancied David Essex? (Gert) Her singing makes me shudder in a really bad way. Good song by all means, but not like this. (Simon C) 2007: Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs (102) Now I'm not a huge fan of the current music scene, but this song is alone in this selection with passion. Well, IMO anyway. (Lionel d'Lion) I really liked their first album, it was quirky and unpredictable. This is just bland. From "I Predict a Riot" to rubyrubyrubyrubyrubyrubyruby, there's no comparison really, is there? (Alan) They are something I only ever read about in free papers, much like Paris Hilton and Kate Moss. F-k knows what they're about. Still sounds like pop though. (Simon C) It's by numbers Kaiser Chiefs, and they were never really that good were they? (SwissToni) Not the Kaiser's best, IMHO, and tarnished with by my knowledge of Chris Moyles' Donny, Donny, Donny, Donny... parody. (Adrian) Considering the large number of pre-existing tracks with raucous guitar accompanying an over-produced thin reedy unexpressive voice, I'm not really sure what this adds to human existence. (Gert) Is there any band around just now more loathsome than the so-called Kaisers? I don’t hate this half as much as their previous ubiquitous fare like “I Predict A Riot”, but give it time. (loomer) The modern day Tremeloes? (betty) Sounds like a football chant (but only suitable for a lower league Spanish fishing village) (diamond geezer) No No and No. Deeply turgid, despite the best efforts of the chorus to pep things up. This sort of thing needs to be much more chipper, tight, and en pointe to work. (Hedgie) 1987: Down To Earth - Curiosity Killed The Cat (85) Wow, 1987 was the last great year in the 80s for glitzy pop wasn’t it? Before acid house and SAW came to spoil the party. This is much like their other hit “Misfit”. The singer guy with the double-barrelled French surname was on a Pop Years programme most recently and is still quite hot. (loomer) Hey, I liked Ben Vol-au-vent Poltroon. I went through a phase of going out wearing a blazer, stripy T-shirt and a beret. (David) Brings back great memories of the 80s, probably because I haven't heard it since then. It's aged well. (Adrian) Boasts that same quirky soulful wanderingness that good jazz melodies have. (diamond geezer) Vaguely finger-clicky, but basically soulless. (Clare) It sounds like the music they played in restaurants with pink and light green colour schemes and white wicker furniture. (asta) I'm going away to look up the lyrics in a minute. A high point for incomprehensible, pretentious '80's nonsense? (betty) I too vaguely remember this band being sold as "cool" to the gullible public. How hilarious. Compare this to Pepsi and Shirley's effort - underneath quite respectable vocal performances both songs have identikit production values. Vile vile vile. Conclusive proof the 80s were the "style" decade. (Hedgie) I was never into the Curiositys back then. I thought they were a low-rent Wet Wet Wet. This hasn't changed my view. (Gert) You have made me realise how DONE i am with 80's music. (jo) 1967: Release Me - Engelbert Humperdinck (78) I'm old enough to remember this but young enough that the controversy passed over my head. Well, the Beatles will have to take their chances like any other pop band. I'm with the wrinklies on this one. I like his voice and the solid if rather stolid melody. (Hedgie) I'm firmly on The Hump's side re this alleged Outrage you refer to. Those baby boomers, eh? Cry baby boomers more like. (jeff w) I'm not sure how to score this. It's terrible but in a memorable, strong kind of way. (Amanda) I like this when I'm drunk; or rather I like singing this when I'm drunk. I know it's a classic, I know it's well put together as a song etc etc but it just doesn't float my boat. (Gert) Oh boy! Me and my mate always used to sing this at the top of our voices in the car on the way home from the pub on a sunday night (in the 1990's not the 1960's I might add...!). I was always drunk, he was always just up for a good time (and still is...) (Simon & The City) Awful at the time and I didn't understand why fawning women thought it was a love song when it was full of spite. And blimey, isn't it slow. (z) I like the mention of Proustian olfactory side effects. This reminds me of the smell of Cherry B and Park Drive cigarettes, because it was played over the PA in a club my parents used to take me to (they let kids in, for reasons I've never understood). It used to rival Tom Jones' Delilah for getting all the drunken blokes singing along in the pub style. (betty) Just awful. MOR dreck for wrinklies. Most infamous chart injustice of all time. I remember it more for being The Fast Show theme. (loomer) Doilies, lemon spray furniture polish and silk flower arrangements. Shoot me now. (asta) I've never understood the chart longevity of this tedious syrupfest. (diamond geezer) *must-fight-urge-to-make-poor-please-release-me-from-listening-jokes*... (Adrian) 1997: Where Do You Go - No Mercy (63) I'm flabbergasted I'm giving this 4 points. Utterly forgotten, but still fresh on rehearing. I love the soulful latino vocals and twinkly Spanish guitar on top of that dance-friendly beat. Fun and unpretentious - yet beneath the gossamer-light fluff this has precise German engineering. (Hedgie) This track reminds me of fabulous nights in Euro Discos - and the latino boys are lovely... (Simon & The City) Very Club 18-30s. Cheerful but tiresome. (Clare) The reference to Peter Sarstedt's "Where Do You Go To My Lovely" tantalises but the song fails to anything interesting with it. (Amanda) I remember this being a carbon copy in every sense of Everything But The Girl’s “Missing”. (loomer) Halfway through listening to this I started thinking that a version by the Wurzels would be really cracking. (betty) mmmm... after watching the video of this cute Latino threesome, my head was pounding like rolling thunder too. However, since you said we're meant to be voting based on merit and not shaggability, bottom of the heap I'm afraid. (Oliver) This will forever be a Saturday Night Live skit of the ever obnoxious Roxbury Brothers head dancing to their 'signature' song for me. (jo) I'd probably enjoy this if I could get rid of the mental picture of Doug and Steve Butabi bouncing their heads in time to the beat. I know, different song, but not that different. (asta) Sounds to me like the illegitimate child of Boney M and Black Lace. (Stereoboard) Horribly formulaic. No merit. I was bored after 20 seconds, the thought of a full length song makes me shudder. (Gert) Not even the cheerfulness and happy-party-vibe of it can disguise what an utter dog of a song it is. (Simon C) Decade scores so far (after 8 days). 1 (1) The 1960s (32) -- Release me, and let me love again! 2= (4) The 1990s (23) -- Just like a river flowing to the sea, you're running back to me! 2= (2) The 2000s (23) -- Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya! Ahaa-ahaa-aaaa! 4 (2) The 1970s (22) -- And as for fortune, and as for fame, I never invited them in! 5 (5) The 1980s (20) -- You're shattered by the vital pain, that is needed now to tell you not to go insane! Labels: whichdecade07
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 3s.
"Can I just say that one of the things I really like about this project is that over the years many people with considerably different tastes, backgrounds and influences have been reasonably candid about their views on these records and there has never been a mocking of people for holding those views, and certainly no personal attacks. It's a model of how the personal internet should work." Hear hear, Gert. And if it's a diverse range of opinions that you're after, then look no further than the previous round, where it's still neck and neck between The Tremeloes, Man 2 Man and En Vogue. Meanwhile, back at the Number Sixes, the Rolling Stones and Heatwave are also still slugging it out for pole position. I ask you: could it get more exciting? Could it? No, but could it though? Time to chuck five more songs into our democratic melting pot. Hold onto your hats, it's the the Number Threes! 1967: I'm A Believer - The Monkees. (video) Proof positive, should any still be needed, that so-called "manufactured" pop can be as capable of transcendence as music made by any other means, The Monkees more or less defined the classic boyband template, setting the bar high as they did so. They also benefitted from working with some of the top songwriting talents of their day - such as Neil Diamond, who wrote "I'm A Believer", and still includes it in his live show to this day. Flawless stuff, and so much a part of the iconography of pop that any fresh objective assessment is rendered almost impossible.1977: Don't Give Up On Us - David Soul. (video) 1987: Heartache - Pepsi & Shirlie. (video) 1997: Don't Speak - No Doubt. (video) 2007: Starz In Their Eyes - Just Jack. (video; alternative X Factor spoof video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. Like the Monkees, Dishy David Soul came to prominence as part of a hit TV show (Starsky and Hutch), and was therefore almost guaranteed to gain major-league exposure with his first single release, if only for the curiosity factor. With its winsome pleading for a second chance from his Lady Love, "Don't Give Up On Us" plays perfectly to Dishy David's adoring female fanbase - and its the underlying sincerity of his performance which rescues it from the slush bin. Plus there's a strong tune and a deft arrangement, which always helps. Pepsi & Shirlie's curiosity-factor fame-boost sprang from their roles as backing singers for Wham!, and it proved just about enough to sustain them through two Top Ten singles in early 1987 - despite "Heartache" earning a slagging from none other than Margaret Thatcher on BBC1's Saturday morning children's show Swap Shop. ("Very professional, the voices, yes, but where's the heartache?") The sub-"Billie Jean" rhythm and the horrid, horrid 1980s hi-gloss/hi-tack airbrush production job haven't worn well, and the whole track feels lifeless and forced. Making her second appearance in this year's Which Decade, Gwen Stefani enjoyed prolonged success as the lead singer with No Doubt before going solo, and the adult-contemporary maturity of "Don't Speak" stands in marked contrast to the dayglo juvenalia of her more recent work. Although the track isn't for me stylistically, I'll happily concede that as a break-up song, it strikes all the right chords. This stands as yet another example of how it's often the unfashionable songs which endure the longest. And so to Just Jack's utterly splendid "Starz In Their Eyes", which - once you've got over the obvious comparisions with Mike Skinner of The Streets, which in my case took several weeks - delivers a timely and welcome broadside to talent-show-pop culture, with articulacy and wit. There's something about the chugging funkiness of the chorus which reminds me of 2000-era disco-house cuts such as Spiller's "Groovejet" and Modjo's "Lady (Here Me Tonight)", and there's something about Just Jack's vocal delivery, particularly in the "Dog and Duck karaoke machine" section, which sticks in the memory in the most deliciously compelling way. This is my favourite track in the 2007 Top Ten to date, by some distance. My votes: Monkees - 5 points. Just Jack - 4 points. David Soul - 3 points. No Doubt - 2 points. Pepsi & Shirlie - 1 point. OK, so the Monkees are almost certain to keep the 1960s ahead - but hey, just look at the plucky Noughties, snapping at their heels in joint second place. Will Just Jack spell further good news for our plucky underdog of a decade? Over to you. Running totals so far - Number 3s. 1967: I'm A Believer - The Monkees (149) OMG..the Monkees. I have an unatural adoration for The Monkees. In my early television viewing years the show used to be on every afternoon sandwiched between H.R. Puffenstuff and The Banana Splits, all three were the 1970's equivalent of a pre teen psycadelic trip. Just the mere opening refrain of that somg makes me bop in my seat, it's just so damn HAPPY. (jo) Being a big fan of the songs that Neil Diamond wrote, I do like this a lot. and I have to say that the Monkees sing it better than Neil! I never minded the maunfactured nature of the Monkees, they were there to sing nice songs and they did! (Gert) Whoever "manufactured" the Monkees made sure that they had some good pop songs. (Amanda) It's deceptively simple and bright for all it's manufacture. There's no irony or cynicism here. How refreshing. (asta) I remain astonished that anybody hasn't given this five points - it's nigh perfect. (diamond geezer) By any criterion you care to name, this pisses all over Strawberry Fields/ Penny Lane from a great height. (jeff w) One of those songs that almost sum up the "sixties so far" before the "summer of love". (Alan) A classic, but looking a little worn these days. (Adrian) I think it's best I don't say what I think about the Monkees. (Marcos) 1997: Don't Speak - No Doubt (106) At the height of Britpop, No Doubt sailed to the top of the charts and showed us how it was meant to be done. (Oliver) I sense that's probably not going to be a popular choice, but this month ten years ago my marriage was breaking up, and I sat around listening to this song over and over and it helped me out a vast amount because it summed up everything I was feeling at the time, so it is always going to be a hugely special song for me. (Alan) Why oh why do I love Gwen and her extremely odd way of singing, those lips, the pouting...but every song turns into an ear worm for me. (jo) An earworm if ever there was one. Memorable song and vocalisation, but still unsure if this is my cup of tea. (Hedgie) Sugary and soppy, yes, but sung from the heart since she wrote it after being dumped by the bass player. (Marcos) Not their best song but it has a very distinct sound and it better than a lot of subsequent solo Stefani stuff. (Will) One of those corny songs that plays on cheap emotions that was obviously going to be a big hit but still appealing for all that. (betty) This sounds like an Eighties throwback even though it's from the Nineties. (Amanda) Over-exposed commercial-radio-fodder - grates more with every play. (diamond geezer) A sort of poor woman's Tori Amos. In her voice I can hear that she is grimacing in a way to convey emotion. I think she might be building up to vomit after the unimaginative dance bit. I think by this stage I was being very picky-and-choosy when it came to pop. (Gert) Don’t sing, more like. Oh how I hate this band and this song is a primary factor. Ghastly, the guitar solo is the icing on a poisonous marzipan-filled cake. (loomer) 2007: Starz In Their Eyes - Just Jack (102) Clever, tuneful and hip - who'd have thought it of modern music? (diamond geezer) Just seems to be a step above millions of other tracks of that ilk. You want to hear more. (JonnyB) When he first popped up I was annoyed that he so clearly derived from The Streets. However this is bloody good. (Hedgie) I'm not sure about the chorus but it definitely has a Streets-style mockney charm. (Amanda) I often feel that the newer tracks suffer from being that much less familiar. While one tries to judge them on merit alone, I find it hard not to give the track I know really well the nod ahead of the one I'm less familiar with. I have the feeling this might've been higher had I heard it more times, but for now 3pts. (Oliver) I'm getting a little bored of "daan to earf geeza" music to be honest, but as far as it goes this isn't too bad. (Alan) Just Jack is getting overwhelmingly mocked in my current social circles, to the extent that I've had to reluctantly defend "Starz in Their Eyes" from some of the more venomous attacks. Reluctantly cos, well, it's Alright and no more. Lyrics score zero for insight, but perhaps five out of ten for pathos. And the music's quite catchy innit. (I gather many of Jack's other songs sound like Jamiroquai. Oh dear.) (jeff w) Don’t mind this too much, but hardly a cutting-edge target is it? (loomer) I hated this when I first heard it (on Later....) and thought he was insipid. It's grown on me masses though. I'm not sure it's as clever as it thinks it is, to be honest. "V.I. Person"? horrible line. (SwissToni) Just poor. The Streets with a bit of a tune (or is that just me?) (Lionel d'Lion) Just incredibly annoying singer songwriter pumped up a bit to make him look a bit street. (Geoff) Hmm, he sounds like a nagging old char woman. Seems to have been annoying me on the radio and telly for the past three months at least. (betty) 1977: Don't Give Up On Us - David Soul (75) It's not hip, it's not clever, but it's got that something. Great seventies orchestral arrangement that's intelligent rather than James Last, and a superb bridge section, like wot 'proper' songs have. (JonnyB) Now if this had been a straightforward love song I'd have liked it less. A charming bastard pleading and trying to put responsibility for being dumped onto her, when he'd misbehaved, yes, that cuts through the smooch and works for me. (z) If the Monkees were up against Silver Lady or This Time I'm Going In With My Eyes Open, they would have to yield first place. But this was the weakest of David Soul's big three. This was just about the time I was systematically getting into pop and I veered between this sort of song and punk. It's a nice song, and he has a nice voice. (Gert) One huge trip down memory lane. Reminds me of my parent's New Year parties in the 70s - I thought they were so glamorous (even with my Dad's dancing). (Sarah) He was a source of ridicule at the time, especially as one of my friends had a huge crush on him. Er, I wonder if she ended up getting married to an older man? This has aged better than I would've expected, in that it's not completely intolerable. (betty) David Soul got rightly mocked in my (10 year old) circles at the time for pandering so blatantly to the female record buyers of the UK. Even our mums liked this - hardly rock'n'roll, was it? Not compared to the excellent fusion-funk by Lalo Schifrin and Tom Scott you heard week in, week out on Carkeys and Clutch anyway. Today? "Don't Give Up On Us" is probably ripe for reclamation by Sean Rowley if he hasn't done so already. "Silver Lady" is better though. (jeff w) Unlike the work of Cat Stevens, this falls into my definition of soppy and sappy. (Amanda) One of those K-Tel abominations from the 70's. A little bit of Bread with a twinge of Air Supply. (jo) Nice voice, but why couldn't he have stuck to car chases? (Alan) A severe afront to the auditory organ. (Marcos) Like drowning in a vat of sickly treacle. (diamond geezer) This one is so bad that I suspect forced listening is grounds for human rights charges before the International Criminal Court. (asta) When I was a kid, I used to squeeze my brow together in an attempt to get a deep vertical furrow above my eyebrow like David Soul's. Thirty years later, I really, really wish I hadn't. (David) 1987: Heartache - Pepsi & Shirlie (48) It’s taking me all my objectivity not to let nostalgia win out again and award this top marks, but this is my favourite classic 80s pop record here yet! Wonderful, this was produced by SAW (though uncredited) who were still vital and great in 1987, before becoming horribly overexposed and wretched in the last 2 years of the 80s with Kylie/Jason/Sonia/Big Fun(!) et al. (loomer) Oh, how very School Disco. There was a very particular way 80s female vocalists were coached to sing, wasn't there? Very Madonna. (Clare) 80s through and through, plastic synth lines, and boppy ladies. (Stereoboard) A tacky guilty pleasure. (David) Dreary hack work. (Hedgie) Maybe it was just me who wondered why they were singing "It's a hard egg"? (diamond geezer) This was the time I began to get a bit jaded with pop, not being prepared to accept that people would buy crap like this. I am not sure I can anything positive about this, but it's not quite awful enough to justify any meaningful criticism. Definitely one for demonstrating the engineer/producer's talents. (Gert) I'm so disappointed in the 80s representation. I'm starting to doubt my memories of my favourite decade... (Sarah) The 1980s is full of this sort of plinky nonsense, isn't it? (Will) Arse-paralysingly grim (Marcos) Their finest hour was probably doing a promotional makeover for Rimmel cosmetics in a magazine. Shirlie was wearing Passion Fruit lipstick if I remember correctly. God, this song has absolutely nothing going for it, has it? (betty) Decade scores so far (after 7 days). 1 (1) The 1960s (28) -- Not a trace of doubt in my mind! 2= (3) The 2000s (20) -- Maybe you'll make the evening news! 2= (2) The 1970s (20) -- We're still worth one more try! 4 (4) The 1990s (19) -- It looks as though you're letting go! 5 (5) The 1980s (18) -- Tell me, am I history? Labels: whichdecade07
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 4s.
You know: for a while back there, I thought that we were going to get our second ever run of perfect 5s, to match Harold Melvin's recent triumph. But no: for a couple of you renegades (and I name no names here), Mason & Princess Superstar's chunky club track has the edge over The Beatles' all time classic (© Mojo, Uncut, The Word, Rolling Stone, Dad Rock Monthly etc etc). Such heresies are what we live for, here at WDITFP.
As for today's selection, things could get a little more unpredictable once again. At the time of writing, I have no idea which one of these five tunes is going to come out on top. Could we be looking at our closest photo-finish since the epic tussle - still going strong, incidentally - between The View and Depeche Mode, back in the Number 8s? Set your stop-watches: it's the Number Fours. 1967: Here Comes My Baby - The Tremeloes. (video) Every year without fail, one or two hidden gems reveal themselves during the course of assembling the project - and here's a case in point. Over the past few weeks, I've devloped quite an unseemly obsession with the first hit to be scored by The Tremeloes, following their split from front man Brian Poole. "Here Comes My Baby" has so many of the elements I love: it's ridiculously catchy, with a spirited rhythmic thrust that puts me in mind of "If I Had A Hammer" by Trini Lopez - and to top it all, THERE ARE COWBELLS. I'm such a sucker for a good cowbell - in fact, it's probably half the reason why I retain such a soft spot for Hi-NRG.1977: Side Show - Barry Biggs. 1987: Male Stripper - Man 2 Man featuring Man Parrish. (video) 1997: Don't Let Go (Love) - En Vogue. (video) 2007: This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. Despite all of its surface cheeriness, "Here Comes My Baby" sports a incongruously melancholic set of lyrics - thus pre-dating the collective oeuvre of Steps by over thirty years. Sticking with the love-lorn and the bereft, Barry Biggs' "Side Show" provides a neatly turned example of the time-honoured "sad showman mocked by the gaiety of the fairground" lyrical archetype. This time, however, both the jauntiness and the melancholy are reflected in the song's light pop-reggae stylings. There's a wonderfully haunting quality to the tune and the arrangement - plus a great el cheapo synth break further down the line, which somehow evokes the gaudy cheapness of the fun fair - and in other circumstances I would have had no hesitation in doling out the 5 points... ...except that, with Man 2 Man featuring Man Parrish on the agenda, no-one else was likely to get a look in. "Male Stripper" is the second late-period Hi-NRG hit in the 1987 Top 10 - and my my, it has lost none of its power over the years. In fact, I think it still makes me feel a little bit "funny" down there. Hey, I never said that my sexuality was sophisticated. Shall we move on? Much as I enjoyed En Vogue's soulfully sassy early 1990s hits such as "Hold On" and "My Lovin'", R&B and rock have never struck me as a particularly winning combination. Fine on their own - but stick 'em together, and they don't half curdle in the churn. Throw in a dollop of Power Ballad, and the stench can become unbearable. Although I dare say it will find its supporters in the comments box, I find "Don't Let Go (Love)" a deeply annoying piece of music, which is currently tying with Five Star as my Dud Of The Year. (Hey, at least Michael Crawford has some comedy value.) And so to Fall Out Boy, who make their second consecutive appearance on Which Decade, following last year's "Sugar We're Goin Down". (Oh, so they're American, are they? Why did none of you correct me last year? I feel such a fool!) This is another case of a single which would normally fall into the Not My Sort Of Thing category, but for which I have developed a creeping fondness. I like the slight nods to pomp-rock, especially with some of the backing vocals - and as such, I guess that you can forge certain stylistic links between this song and the recent work of My Chemical Romance and Muse. (Er, can you? How the hell should I know; this falls so far outside of my generational demographic, that it's almost embarrassing to be caught discussing it in public.) My votes: Man 2 Man - 5 points. The Tremeloes - 4 points. Barry Biggs - 3 points. Fall Out Boy - 2 points. En Vogue - 1 point. As I say, this one's wide open. Will Man 2 Man give the lagging 1980s a much needed boost? Or Will The Tremeloes widen the 1960s' lead even further? Over to you. Running totals so far - Number 4s. 1987: Male Stripper - Man 2 Man featuring Man Parrish (102) It's crass, it's banal, it's pointless, it's predictable, and it's absolutely bloody excellent. (diamond geezer) Homoeroticism pure and simple. No pretence at being gender neutral. (Amanda) Wonderfully camp. Makes me want some poppers. (Clare) A great favourite with the Women's Institute and as backing music on Strictly Come Dancing, so I've heard. (betty) Ah, more nostalgia. What a great chart it was back in early 1987. This rather frightened me as a young gay, such unabashed homo lust. I always wondered how this sneaked onto the playlists and living rooms of Middle England and seemed pretty subversive and defiant at the height of AIDS panic. But I think the marketing angle was more in the way of some Chippendales dancing to it on TOTP and it was cast as some heterosexual men-stripping-for-women hen-night anthem. LOL @ the youtube comments of The Chuckle Brothers being in the video, didn’t realize they were leather daddies! (loomer) All my friends told me this was rubbish, but I insisted on enjoying the raw NRG of this track. For all I know it might be a rip off of something else but it still sounds innovative, and well constructed, with the different elements - dance tracks, two different vocal lines etc, all molding together. Then the change of key, temp and mood. It's sophisticated. If not quite a classic, it has considerable merits. (Gert) There's a certain appealing crudeness to the composition here. Strange but catchy, and 80s in a very good way. (Simon C) Splendid in its way, but it's not for me in any sense, is it? (z) A little too stripped down for me. (asta) The music sounded like it belonged on an old mega-drive video game. (Alan) 1967: Here Comes My Baby - The Tremeloes (93) Madras plaid,chinos and Mookie and Cee Cee at the clam bake. What fun. (asta) They didn't let any old rubbish into the top ten 40 years ago, did they? (diamond geezer) There are other songs of theirs I'm willing to confess to liking a lot. If I've been drinking. This isn't one of my stand out favourites though. (betty) I have also, like Mike, been rediscovering late period Tremeloes recently. There's a good compilation that Sanctuary put out a couple of years ago, that made the case that they were proto-bubblegum, especially circa 1967. Not sure I buy that, but this song is tremendous. (jeff w) I once came across an ex Tremeloe whilst on holiday on a Greek Island. Looking at the video I can't figure which one it was. (Amanda) Look Mum, I bought a formula for how to have a hit. Derivative. In almost every bar I expected it to turn into some other Merseybeat tune. Harmless enough, I suppose, but no better than what many local amateur groups could do on a Friday night at the youth club. (Gert) 1997: Don't Let Go (Love) - En Vogue (80) Great song. Probably the best of their hits, can't understand your prejudice against it - I still have the tape you made me of their album. The intro instantly takes me back to the dancefloor. (Dymbel) Very run of the mill by their standards. They were clearly running out of steam. (betty) I loved their early 90s stuff (Funky Divas is an excellent album), but their '97 "comeback" was unnecessary, to put it mildly. (jeff w) Again, this is a differnet version than the one I remember being released over here. I still loved the 'Rock' chick in the group. (jo) From the title I can just picture the Elbow cover - a la Independent Woman. Sadly the Northern accent is missing and replaced with some run-of-the-mill r'n'b. (Adrian) Love them, was there ever a girl group with so much vocal talent where all the girls could really sing? Never much liked this song though. (loomer) The talent's there, but they just can't get beyond the packaging. (asta) It's not bad; it's like a combination of various mediocre components addingup to less than some of their parts. And that ghastly pre-menstrual wailing which masquerades as emotion. Get rid of it. (Gert) Crank! Creak! Moan! (Hedgie) 2007: This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy (78) Fall Out Boy are probably the most consistent of the recent wave of so-called 'emo music' bands (and I don't think you need to an alienated 14 year old to appreciate them). This is a great, anthemic rock tune and I had half expected to give it the maximum points... (jeff w) Sorry, but this wins by miles. Weapons Grade Earworm. (SwissToni) The title's a clunker, but it's nice to hear that angry rock is alive and kicking- even if it's in pseudo-surrealist art film costumes. (asta) Shamefully I quite like this, their best song yet. That Pete Wentz is highly annoying though, and why is he the frontman? He isn’t even the singer. (loomer) Shouting disguised beneath a tune, but not an especially talented tune. (diamond geezer) They can't seem to decide if they want to be proper emo or Blink 182. (Alan) Loses me after the arresting first line, "I am an arms dealer". (Amanda) I initially thought it was a cover of something else. It's just noise without any inherent musial values. I presume by the title it's supposed to have a meaning but as I can't actually decipher the lyrics it's lost on me. (Gert) 1977: Side Show - Barry Biggs (67) 'Side Show' is right up there in my pop-reggae canon. I have happy memories of it during its original chart run and upon rediscovering it in more recent times on Trojan compilations. Such a sad, sweet vocal from Biggs, that perfectly fits the mood of the song. (jeff w) Ah, this is nice. Warm and snuggly. (Clare) I think we've hit a vein of records that evoke fond recollections of early days at comprehensive. I'm on the verge of not mentioning the pale-reggae backdrop. (Stereoboard) I only knew the song as performed by Blue Magic and it remains my favourite. I just can't wrap my head around this one. (jo) I almost like the chorus, but I can't sit through the verse without falling asleep. (diamond geezer) This is bad. The cheesy strings, the attempted reggae beat, the laboured cadences, the thin wispy colourless unexpressive strained voice. If you don't have the high note, don't attempt it, even in the studio. (Gert) Decade scores so far (after 6 days). 1 (1) The 1960s (23) -- Here comes my baby! Here she comes now! 2 (1) The 1970s (19) -- No doubt about it, satisfaction's guaranteed! 3 (3) The 2000s (18) -- And I don't really care which side wins! 4 (3) The 1990s (16) -- There'll be some lovemaking, heartbreaking, soul shaking! 5 (5) The 1980s (14) -- Built like a truck! I'd bump for a buck! Labels: whichdecade07
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 5s.
Well now, there's a thing. At the time of writing, "Don't Leave Me This Way" by Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes has scored a maximum 5 points from every single voter, making it the first single ever in the history of Which Decade to do so - and therefore, if you stick with my admittedly patchy logic, The Best Single Ever In The History Of Which Decade, If Not Of All Time.
But hark! And hist! What's that coming over the hill? Could it be a victory to rival that of Harold Melvin? Only one way to find out: it's the Number Fives. 1967: Strawberry Fields/Penny Lane - The Beatles. (video) As JonnyB rightly points out in the previous comments box, The Rolling Stones were actually in the Top Ten with a double A-side single, which combined "Let's Spend The Night Together" with "Ruby Tuesday". I'd feel guiltier about this oversight if the Stones weren't already in the lead - but I'm certainly not about to make the same mistake with this double A-sider from The Beatles.1977: Isn't She Lovely - David Parton. 1987: Almaz - Randy Crawford. 1997: Clementine - Mark Owen. (video) 2007: Exceeder - Mason. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. Despite breaking their four year run of consecutive Number Ones, "Strawberry Fields Forever"/"Penny Lane" is regarded by many - myself included - as the Best Beatles Single Ever, and regularly tops the sort of magazine polls to which men of my age and background are so irresistably drawn. I've written about it before, so shan't bang on for too long - except to re-state that "Penny Lane" evokes memories of my 1960s childhood with an almost supernatural accuracy, and an almost overwhelming poignancy. Meanwhile "Strawberry Fields Forever" - Side One, Track One on the first album I ever bought - more or less invented the future. Not bad going for a pop single, is it? Given Stevie Wonder's refusal to release "Isn't She Lovely" - already a major airplay hit - as a single from his massively successful Songs In The Key Of Life, it fell to some previously unheard-of (and never to be heard of again) jobber called David Parton to seize the commercial opportunity, and to milk it for all it was worth with this carbon-copy cover version. Since the song is dedicated to Wonder's baby daughter Aisha - even mentioning her by name - Parton's already shabby opportunism looks all the more artistically indefensible. Still, since carbon-copy cover albums (such as the perennial Top of the Pops series) were still selling well in the late 1970s, nobody outside of the music press and the Wonder fan club cared too much - indeed, Parton was widely hailed as nobly fulfilling a public demand, in the face of Wonder's stubborn intransigence - and "Isn't She Lovely" duly peaked at Number Four. God, but the Seventies could be such a shabby decade. Randy Crawford, whose breezy, carefree, seemingly effortless vocals worked so well on The Crusaders' "Street Life" in 1979, got bogged down during the 1980s with a right load of syrupy cabaret gloop, and "Almaz" is one of her very gloopiest. It's a pleasant enough tune, and the essentially likeable Crawford does her best with it - but the song itself's an utter dog, whose endurance - often as source material for TV talent shows - totally baffles me. By early 1997, so-called "manufactured" pop was right at the bottom of the cycle of popularity, the rise of the Spice Girls notwithstanding. East 17's final hit was on its way down the charts, Kylie had "gone indie", and the former members of Take That were having to adapt to survive, with mixed fortunes. Gary Barlow was enjoying an immediate but short-lived flash of success as a pretender to the thrones of George Michael and Elton John; Robbie Williams was floundering and looking increasingly marginalised (this was still 10 months before "Angels" saved his career); but on the face of it, Little Marky Owen (The Cute One™) seemed to be re-inventing himself quite successfully as a more "mature" artiste, working with Radiohead producer John Leckie and replacing the cheesy grins with moody pouts. I say "on the face of it", because "Clementine" - like "Almaz" before it - is another array of pleasant noises thrown over another utter dog of a song (in this case, a remarkably depressive ode to a desperate single mother). Weirdly, it also sounds as if it could have fitted - stylistically at least - onto Take That's all-conquering comeback album. However, when placed next to TT's two current Top Twenty singles - "Patience" (justly voted Best British Single at last week's Brits) and "Shine" (lead vocals by one Mark Owen), it stands revealed merely as an object of minor historical curiosity. And so to Mason, whose club hit "Exceeder" has been re-worked as a mash-up with the vocal line from Princess Superstar's "Perfect". Or so I've read, at any rate; never having heard either of the originals, the combination of the two sounds perfectly natural to me - as if it was always meant to be. I like the chunky electro-house feel, and I like the way that the basic themes are subtly developed over the course of the track, and I particularly like the "whooshy" bits later on (they're not on the MP3), which sound like something that the rather ace dance act Vitalic might have put out two or three years ago. Heavens to Betsy, a more-than-decent club track in the Top Ten, whoda thunk it? There is hope. My votes: Beatles - 5 points. Mason - 4 points. Mark Owen - 3 points. Randy Crawford - 2 points. David Parton - 1 point. OK, so the Beatles are a shoo-in for first place - but how are the rest of the votes going to pan out? As predicted, former leaders the 1990s have taken a nasty tumble, as the old order of the 1960s and 1970s re-establishes itself. Can Mason keep the 2000s in the running? Or will Randy Crawford lead a resurgence for the rapidly flagging 1980s? Over to you. Running totals so far - Number 5s. 1967: Strawberry Fields/Penny Lane - The Beatles (151) As soon as I saw the list I knew that this would be my number one by a mile, and I suspect the same for almost everyone else, although in RL I know a couple of people who really hate the Beatles. Objectively, this has to be the best, because it has that enduring and widespread popularity amongst such a range of people including professionals, critics, the discerning public, small children etc etc. Both of these fulfill the first basic requirement of a song - a tune, and the second basic requirement of being accessible on first hearing (I guess...) and yet issuing a sense of freshness on subsequent hearings despite the elapse of time and the familiarity/ubiquity... (Gert) Proving how incredibly rare it is to be able to write something perfectly simple and simply perfect. Twice. (diamond geezer) I've been to Strawberry Fields. I've even stayed in an apartment overlooking Strawberry Fields and I've heard upteen wannabes perform unspeakable vocal assaults on Penny Lane, but when I close my eyes, I'm in The C kids' rec-room on a Saturday night being introduced to magic. It's still magic. (asta) It's almost unfair to the other songs to have these on the list, innit? You cannot feel stressed when you hear Strawberry Fields, and Penny Lane is so uplifting. (SwissToni) Ah yes. I - er - have this one on 45RPM as well. Isn't the trumpet solo the best moment in pop music that there's ever been? Great bass playing as well. (JonnyB) Penny Lane takes me back to being 5, too. In my dad's car driving round London for some reason although I'm sure there wasn't a radio in it. (Geoff) This is like comparing a ferrari with 4 horse-drawn carts, and possibly the best ever song with a mellotron? (Marcos) As much as I hate to be such a blasphemer, the 'genius' of this track (these tracks?) isn't quite as obvious to me as most other voters seem to think it should be. Personally, I do feel people lose their ability to discriminate when it comes to the Fab Four. 'S'alright I suppose. (Oliver) OK, cards on the table: I really really dislike Strawberry Fields. I hate the vocals, the guitar, the lyrics, the self-consciously arty production... "Penny Lane" is ace, of course, if a little twee. It could have earned my 5 points on its own. But right now, there's no way I'm voting Macca over the Superstar. (jeff w) 2007: Exceeder - Mason (98) I do much prefer the original "Perfect" by Princess Superstar - and I urge you all to check out the bonkers concept album from whence it comes, My Machine, a satire on celebrity set in the future - but it's been edited nicely with "Exceeder", a brilliant rave track in its own right. (jeff w) This really ought to be awful, but even I can imagine being drawn onto the dancefloor by it. (diamond geezer) This sounded amazing in the mind-blowing new room at Fire this weekend. (David) The different components are brought together really well whilst keeping their different flavour. (Amanda) This doesn't do anything that isn't done by a raft of other contempory dance tracks, but it's catchy and quite likeable. (Adrian) The Princess Superstar rap is funny but I loathe the trance backing track which sounds like Benny Benny Benassi’s “Satisfaction”. The video is better, some of the girls in it are surprisingly ugly. (loomer) Dreadful. Perhaps I'm just too old to have my heart's natural rhythms attacked like that. I wouldn't mind so much if it was real percussion but it's just a random arrangement of bits and bytes that my fifty quid keyboard could do. Shame really because all the other No. 5s are at least tolerable. (Gert) OMG...that was horrid. If that turns into an earworm I'm going to have to hunt you down. (jo) 1987: Almaz - Randy Crawford (86) The endearingly acceptable side of tear-flecked balladeering. (diamond geezer) I don't listen to the words. Her vocal line is gorgeous. (Hedgie) When you've got a voice that good, the song doesn't really matter. (Alan) Very mushy, but something about her vocals always affects me when I've got PMT. Ahem. Then again, I am a dimwitted middle aged housewife, so this is ideal to listen to when I'm crying into the washing up. (betty) I like the voice. The melody is simple, but not particularly interesting, and badly orchestrated but the lyrics. Dear Lord. " Men will want her, because life don't haunt her" urrrgh. (asta) I'm conflicted. Hearing it now, it has a reasonable tune, and she has a reasonable voice, although not especially to my taste. The words have some meaning, perhaps not to me. But I also recall how very very annoying it became when it was in the charts and on the radio. (Gert) 1977: Isn't She Lovely - David Parton (68) I don't mind this cover of "Isn't She Lovely" - true it knocks a few of the rough edges off Stevie's version, but it's also commendably shorter than Stevie's. Did we really need five minutes of bathtime gurgles, Stevie? No we bloody well didn't. (jeff w) It's not a bad imitation, and frankly if Westlife can make a career out of it why shouldn't this guy. (Alan) Before I was a wizened teenager I was tricked in my early preteen years into buying some of these carbon copy hits. Thinking when I saw them in the shops that I could buy two of these albums with my allowance...two! Why were the ohers so expensive? Perhaps this store had a deal. My preteen angst at realising that I had been had and my determination to not let any of my friends to know what an idiot I had been has led me to not make this confession until this very moment. Bastards. (jo) I don't know if it was cowardice or good sense that kept this from release in North America. I'm grateful, either way. (asta) The original is one of my least favourite songs of all time, and this is a hundred times worse. Nothing against Stevie Wonder in general but all musicians who feel compelled to write songs about their newborn children should be SHOT. (betty) 1997: Clementine - Mark Owen (62) He can’t sing or pronounce his “R’s” but this was his most memorable song, which at the time was compared to Marti Pellow. He annoyed me in Take That by being the so-called “cute” one, but at least he isn’t Robbie. (loomer) Adequate, but not really the best song to kick-start an oh-so-fragile solo career. (diamond geezer) I always have a problems with his vocals. I always have a problem with ex boyband members going slightly rocky and slightly profound. (betty) It's not bad, but the drum and cymbal put me off. The amateur percussion acts as a barrier to hearing what lies behind it. (Gert) Oh Marky - thank goodness you're back to singing along with the boyband. 'Shine' is one of my top ten current tunes... (Sarah) It was rubbish at the time and still is. And yet as I type Take That are singing (well, miming) their new Scissors-esque single on Dancing on Ice and entertaining me so at least it ended happily. With better competition, this would be bottom. (Will) So forgettable I've forgotten what it sounded like and I only listened to it thirty seconds ago. (Alan) Decade scores so far (after 5 days). 1= (3) The 1960s (18) -- Nothing to get hung about! 1= (2) The 1970s (18) -- Isn't she pretty! Truly the angels' best! 3= (3) The 2000s (14) -- Try a little harder honey! Give me some more! 3= (1) The 1990s (14) -- It was never meant to be this way! 5 (5) The 1980s (12) -- You lucky, lucky thing! Labels: whichdecade07
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 6s.
Ooh, but it's getting close down there. At the time of writing, Depeche Mode have drawn level with The View in the battle of the Number Sevens, and Taffy is slugging it out with Apollo Four Forty for second place in the Number Tens. Which means that, yes, every vote does count, and can significantly affect the final result. So it's never too late to get involved.
With that in mind, let's check out the Number Sixes. 1967: Let's Spend The Night Together - Rolling Stones. (video) This is the third time that the Rolling Stones have represented the 1960s, having finished in first place on both previous occasions ("Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown" in 2006, and "Not Fade Away" in 2004). "Let's Spend The Night Together", while not perhaps quite the equal of its two predecessors (although its unambiguously libidinous intent highlights all the deficiencies of the Akon/Snoop effort in a most instructive and timely manner), has only one real rival in today's selection... 1977: Boogie Nights - Heatwave. (video) 1987: It Doesn't Have To Be This Way - Blow Monkeys. 1997: I Shot The Sheriff - Warren G. 2007: How To Save A Life - The Fray. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. Heatwave's "Boogie Nights" is the second single in our 1977 Top Ten to have lent its name to a 21st century nostalgia-based musical show. Like Boney M, Heatwave began their career in West Germany, before moving to the UK and teaming up with songwriter Rod Temperton (later to write "Rock With You" and "Thriller" for Michael Jackson) and producer Barry Blue (a minor star of the glam-rock period). "Boogie Nights" is a fine early representation of the sort of overground disco music that was to reach its commercial peak in 1978 and 1979 - although my aforementioned crypto-Maoist Year Zero punk rocker 15-year old self loathed everything which it stood for. That's sexual repression for you. (I also misheard the lyrics, for many years, as "one two three four dancing, three four dancing", but that's AM radio for you.) The Blow Monkeys are a prime example of the sort of act which seemed cool in the obsessively style-conscious climes of 1987, but whose music has largely failed to stand the test of time. Although this was their biggest hit by some considerable distance, they had better material, such as the still-rather-nifty "Digging Your Scene" from 1986. They were also brave enough to commit commercial suicide just three months later, with a doomed piece of eve-of-General-Election Thatcher-bashing/wishful thinking called "Celebrate (The Day After You)", featuring guest vocals from no less a figure than Curtis Mayfield, if you please. The band's hit-making career never really recovered after that, and so it would be tempting to redress this historical injustice by awarding "It Doesn't Have To Be This Way" oodles of points - but sadly, WDITFP doesn't work like that. Harsh but fair; it has to be this way. To endure one lazily rubbish rap remake of a pop classic in the space of a single Top Ten might be a misfortune; to endure two in a row smacks of carelessness. But then, there was a lot of it about in 1997; Notorious BIG's "Mo Money More Problems", which massacred Diana Ross's "I'm Coming Out", was a few months away from charting, as was Puff Daddy's deeply yucky mega-smash "I'll Be Missing You". The self-styled "G-funk" artist Warren G had promised so much in 1994, with the sublime "Regulate" - but by 1997 his artistic stock was much diminished. Not that the singles-buying public (puh, them) cared, as "I Shot The Sheriff" duly followed his late 1996 assault on "What's Love Got To Do With It" into the Top Ten. Tellingly, Youtube doesn't have a video for this one, either. And so to The Fray, who would appear to be a US take on the likes of Coldplay, Snow Patrol, and most especially Keane. "How To Save A Life" has all the earnest, preachy, mid-paced ponderousness of the above three acts, and positively drips with the sort of unfocussed "meaningfulness" which can so frequently drive me to distraction - and yet, a dozen or so listens down the line, I have formed a kind of grudging accommodation with it. If preachy ponderousness is the lingua franca of the day, then at least The Fray execute it with a tolerably acceptable efficiency. It's not for me, but I don't particularly begrudge its existence. My votes: Heatwave - 5 points. Rolling Stones - 4 points. The Fray - 3 points. Blow Monkeys - 2 points. Warren G - 1 point. Over to you. The 1990s are holding onto their lead, but I fear that the combined weight of LL Cool J and Warren G are about to change all of that. Meanwhile, the 1980s are trailing badly, with two last places (Michael Crawford and Five Star) in four days. Today has to be a good one for the 1960s and the 1970s, doesn't it? Could Heatwave be about to nudge the 1970s ahead? It's all up to you... Running totals so far - Number 6s. 1967: Let's Spend The Night Together - Rolling Stones (126) Time for my annual "I Can't stand the Rolling Stones but this is their best song ever and a classic!" comment. Love that piano. Also love the temp/beat etc. Good old-fashioned rock'n'roll! (Gert) risque lyrics perfectly disguised beneath a singalong classic (diamond geezer) I would have never believed this was from the same decade, let alone week as the previous '67 entries. And I'm not a Stones fan. Good work boys. (NiC) Hard to believe this caused a lyric-changing ruckus on the Ed Sullivan Show. (asta) Yes, I remember that edition of TOTP. And the woman who said "And so what do you think they were going to do all night?! Huh? Huh?" My mother hated it too. But of course, I'm not swayed by any such subjective judgement and put it top because I like it best of the five. (z) The production on this track is quite muddy. It doesn't really fulfill its anarchic potential. I prefer the David Bowie cover. (Amanda) A good song but there's something about the production here - the too prominent piano perhaps? - that irritates slightly. Much prefer the Bowie cover of this. (jeff w) There's shock from the Norfolk jury at some of the Stones comments. I'd put it down as one of their best singles, by far. I've got it on 45RPM, and it's dynamite - the production was cleaned up a lot for the various CD 'best ofs'. When I was a kid I didn't even realise there were any other instruments on it other than piano and drums - there's a bit of organ audible at the end. The muddiness is why it sounds so great. And Ruby Tuesday on the other side. That's not a bad bit of vinyl. (JonnyB) 1977: Boogie Nights - Heatwave (121) It's almost pure disco perfection--the beat, the vocal harmonies, the funk guitar, and it's about dancing. (asta) 5 points, partly because I feel guilty about pretending to hate disco when I was young. (David) utterly groovy, but probably too cool to be a wedding disco floor-filler (diamond geezer) Fine production and use of harmonies and different voices. But it's all rather controlled. It doesn't make me want to dance. (Amanda) I normally love disco, but this is too dirgish and repetitive for my liking. (chris) I'm afraid that the video put me right off. Odd costumes and peculiar stilted hand movements. Not my sort of music, but good of its type. (z) It's kind of memorable and kind of good, but I think even so, 1977 was crying out for Punk at this point. (Gert) 1987: It Doesn't Have To Be This Way - Blow Monkeys (90) Odd, but I can still have this one in my head without need to recourse to the MP3. Ergo, it has some kind of staying power... (Lyle) There is an atmosphere about this, something about it being in a minor key (I think?) that makes it haunting. I seem to recall this being an anti-thatcher anthem, but I can't see that from this clip. (Gert) No wonder Red Wedge failed to get Labour elected, eh! (betty) It's a classic, I suppose, but that doesn't meant it's any good. (SwissToni) 2007: How To Save A Life - The Fray (69) One of those songs on at the end of TOTP2 where Steve Wright demonstrates that there genuinely is still some great music out there for us middle aged folks, with tunes and heartfelt lyrics, and it's not just all noise and shouting and youngsters in silly clothes. (betty) I like this. It seems that the Noughties are consistently better than the Nineties. Still not enough to make me care. I like non-singing if it sounds like this. (Gert) So entertainingly earnest. (z) I can't turn the radio on at the moment. I don't think I really like it, but I sort of do... if you know what I mean. No? Me Neither. (SwissToni) Like The View song a few days ago, it sounds familiar even when heard for the first time. Maybe that's what people are aiming for these days. (Amanda) This caught my attention the first time I heard it. Then Grey's Anatomy picked it up a demi-eon ago and there was nowhere to turn on the dial that wasn't playing it. Now I wish it would go hang itself. (asta) I can't forgive them for forcing my mates' band to change their name to The Felons, so minimal points from me. (Adrian) Maybe lots of sixth formers bought it as a Valentine's Day present. (Stereoboard) This sort of shit MUST UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES BE ENCOURAGED. NiC - "harmless" and "forgettable" music is the enemy... (Ben) 1997: I Shot The Sheriff - Warren G (44) But I did not shoot him dead, you see, as introduced on the radio by a friend's mother) (Pam) The real surprise package of this bunch is the 90s. When I read the words Warren G covering "I Shot the Sheriff" I immediately thought "oh good grief" (I'd forgotten the track) but actually this has a fantastic beat, and the production (by Warren G himself) makes nice little silk purses from the sow's ear that was the Clapton cover. In fact, I think I like this just as much as Marley's Live! At the Lyceum take. So there. (jeff w) I thought Bob Dylan performed the most annoying version/interpretation of this song. I was wrong. (asta) Well, I've heard Sonny Curtis sing this live. I also have records of Eric Clapton, Bob Marley etc, and this track is an insult to all of them and us. They have no business releasing this. Arrogant tossers. (Gert) I've taken to ratings based upon whether I would change the radio dial if a track came on. If WArren G. came on I might, in fact, shoot my radio to save it the misery. (jo) Decade scores so far (after 4 days). 1 (1) The 1990s (15) -- Why you wanna pull me over? Cuz I'm bumpin'? 2 (2) The 1970s (14) -- Get that groove, let it take you higher! Make it move, set this place on fire! 3= (2) The 1960s (12) -- You need some guiding, baby! I'm just deciding, baby! 3= (4) The 2000s (12) -- And you'll begin to wonder why you came! 5 (4) The 1980s (8) -- You've only got yourself to blame, for playing the game! Labels: whichdecade07
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 7s.
Wow. What an unexpected and wonderful birthday present (yes, it's today; no, that's fine, you couldn't be expected to remember) the Which Decade project has seen fit to bestow on me.
Five years, 44 rounds of voting and scoring... and yea, on the 44th day, something rather marvellous has happened. At the time of writing, the votes for this year's Number 8s are stacked up in exact chronological order. Sure, this has happened several times before; but always with the 1960s in first place and the 2000s in last. However, for the first time ever in the history of Which Decade Is Tops For Pops, the 2000s have the leading song (The View's "Same Jeans"), and the 1960s have the losing song (The Royal Guardsmen's "Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron"). Many congratulations to The View for salvaging the reputation of this most beleaguered of decades; you must be feeling very proud of yourselves right now. To underline the magnitude of their victory: "Same Jeans" is the first winning song from the 2000s since The Source's "You Got The Love", on Day 4 of last year's contest. However, since "You Got The Love" was essentially a microscopic re-twiddle of a 1990s backing track and a 1980s vocal, which would have been excluded under this years rules, we have to go all the way back to 2004 to find a previous victor from the 2000s: Britney Spears' "Toxic". Thus it is that "Same Jeans" breaks a drought which has lasted for no less than twenty-three rounds of voting. Welcome back to the game, Noughties. Now, let's see whether you can capitalise on your renewed success, as we get our critical teeth stuck into the Number Sevens. 1967: Peek-A-Boo - New Vaudeville Band. (video) My my, but wasn't February 1967 an uncommonly whimsical time for chart pop? Following Donovan's surrealist strut and the Royal Guardsmen's ever-so-slightly-sweary beagle-based novelty, the New Vaudeville Band, with their exaggerated plummy accents (shades of Neil Hannon from The Divine Comedy?) and their nostalgic 1920s tea-dance stylings, come across like a somewhat sanitised Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - as the above video link will confirm. (It's worth watching just for the introduction from the bosomy old broad in bottle-green, and for the performance of their US Number One hit "Winchester Cathedral" which follows.)1977: Don't Leave Me This Way - Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes. 1987: Stay Out Of My Life - Five Star. (video) 1997: Ain't Nobody - LL Cool J. 2007: Too Little Too Late - Jojo. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. "Peek-A-Boo" was the work of the songwriter Geoff Stephens, who also penned pop hits such as "The Crying Game" (Dave Berry), "Semi-Detached Suburban Mr.James" (Manfred Mann), "Goodbye Sam, Hello Samantha" (Cliff Richard, pre-empting gender-bending by over a decade) and the mighty "Knock Knock, Who's There?" (Mary Hopkin). It's a cute but slight affair, whose initial charm wears off fairly swiftly. There were, of course, two competing versions of "Don't Leave Me This Way" in the Top 20 of February 1977, nine years before the Communards took the song to Number One. Thelma Houston's fine rendition peaked at Number 13, but this superior version (originally recorded in 1975) by Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes - featuring Teddy Pendergrass on lead vocals, and best heard in its dizzying, ever-intensifying, seemingly endless full length version - made it as far as Number 5. (In the US, where Thelma's cover of the Bluenotes' original reached Number One on the pop charts, the fortunes were reversed.) Thirty years on, and despite saturation exposure to the Communards version in the 1980s, the song has lost none of its power, and I'm banking on a solid stream of first placings. Five Star's ghastly "System Addict" was at Number Seven in last year's snapshot of the 1980s, and it is our unique misfortune to have them back at Number Seven this year, with the even more forgettable "Stay Out Of My Life". To all of you who are about to lose just over a minute of your lives to its anaemic, cloying, personality-free wretchedness: be at least grateful that you didn't have to spend 79p on its acquisition (and, yes, I resent every last penny). "I Can't Live Without My Radio", "Rock The Bells", "I'm Bad"... yes, in his early days on Def Jam records in the 1980s, LL Cool J produced some of the most compelling and ground-breaking hip hop cuts of all time. And then he recorded a rubbishly piece of slush called "I Need Love" (or "I Need A Hit", as we all called it), hit the charts, and generally went a bit rubbish. Successful, but still a bit rubbish. LL's utterly pointless version of Rufus & Chaka Khan's classic "Ain't Nobody" was taken from the soundtrack of Beavis & Butthead Do America, and the single came packed with a picture of Beavis & Butthead on its front cover. At the time, it felt like a new benchmark of marketing over content - and it also felt like the most insignificant Number One in British chart history. (Go on, I bet you had forgotten all about it. YouTube doesn't even have a video.) The slow devaluation of the Top 40 was just beginning, and "Ain't Nobody" was at the vanguard. All of which leaves Jojo's rather effective little lament to a love affair turned sour, which has been hanging around inside the 2007 Top Ten for several weeks now. Yes, "Too Little Too Late" is part of the new breed of real hits, which are hanging around because people actually like them, and are getting the chance to know them before they disappear from sight. I like to think of "Too Little Too Late" as a necessary corrective to Akon & Snoop's witless slobberings of a few days ago. Jojo's image is that of a comparatively ordinary girl-next-door, and the plight which she describes is an easily identifiable one. Unfortunately, this is badly undercut by the auto-tuning software, which makes her sound like a whiney robot - but not even that can altogether prevent little glimpses of true emotion from poking through the sheen. I particularly like the wordless wailing at the end of the track (not featured on the MP3 medley), in which Jojo is either celebrating her new freedom, or exorcising her pain - but most likely a mixture of both. My votes: Harold Melvin - 5 points. Jojo - 4 points. New Vaudeville Band - 3 points. LL Cool J - 2 points. Five Star - 1 point. Over to you. After three days of voting, the 1990s are our clear leaders - blimey, whoda thunk it, there is hope, etc etc - with the gap between the other four decades still too close to call. Why, even the 2000s are still in the running. There's everything to play for here, in what could be our most open competition to date. Running totals so far - Number 7s. 1977: Don't Leave Me This Way - Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes (154) Gorgeous honeyed tones and actual emotion. A winner in any category, any decade. (asta) The stand out amongst the group. I wonder why Thelma's version is the only one heard these days? (Amanda) I love Harold Melvin et al (for same reason as I liked that Moments record - cf. previous comments), but in this case I actually prefer the Thelma Houston and Communards versions. For some reason, I feel this song needs to be belted. (jeff w) As I was three when this was out, obviously I'm most familiar with the Communards' version. The lack of histrionic falsetto on this version gives more impact. I like it. (Adrian) Classic song. But I so much prefer the Communards version by a degree of magnitude. This actually sounds fairly mediocre and forgettable, but what a voice! I don't think there are any pop singers today with a voice that is a patch on this. (Gert) the perfect accompaniment to a celebratory birthday party (diamond geezer) 2007: Too Little Too Late - Jojo (95) the sort of inoffensive background music you might hear at a birthday dining-out experience (diamond geezer) I don't like processed vocals either but there's a still a song there (Amanda) Even with help, this voice is forgettable. The tune is worthwhile. (asta) I really loved JoJo's first LP but the new one is sadly lacking something - poor material, average production, and too many pale imitations of e.g. Beyonce. "Too Little Too Late" has grown on me a bit, but it's still a shadow of the (too similar) "Leave (Get Out)". Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased it's doing well, but the weight of expectation I had means that the weaknesses that you highlight in the record count for more with me. (jeff w) Oh please, the woman can't sing. There's no personality in there. Another one where the studio engineers do a splendid job in masking her complete lack of talent. Wobbling like you're on a bouncy castle does not convey emotion... (Gert) 1967: Peek-A-Boo - New Vaudeville Band (92) Novelty accents and a workable attempt at a tune count for a lot in this line-up. (Hedgie) sufficiently quirky to afford relief that you were too young at the time to be blamed for buying it (diamond geezer) I enjoyed it, but I remember it from 1967 and it still charmed the child in me. (z) It's got a retro twenties/thirties crooner vocal. It would less horrible without the sixties brass arrangement and whistling over the top. (Amanda) Ghastly. What a dreadful singer. He manages to sing in three different registers and hopes no one will notice the unsubtle changes. Awful tune. Dreadful lyrics. Give me Siouxsie and the Banshees. Make it stop. (Gert) Uncovered! The Hidden Link between Rudy Vallee and Tiny Tim. I think it was found at the local landfill. (asta) 1997: Ain't Nobody - LL Cool J (79) It's got some elements I like; namely the intro and the 'Ain't Nobody' chorus. (Amanda) Good choice of track to rap over. Not sure that LL adds much, but he doesn't detract either. (Adrian) I hate the genre, but as the genre goes I like this. Ish. Although, obviously, I would prefer Rufus and Chaka Khan. Frankly, the fact that I'm putting this second says more about the crapness of the rest. (Gert) DON'T Mess with CHAKA! I am sick of Mr. Lip Licker anyway, what is wrong with that man? (jo) Was there a car payment due? Another house to buy? The opening notes are promising and then, aw...sh*t. (asta) 1987: Stay Out Of My Life - Five Star (45) The clichéd synth tricks overpower the vocals until the chorus. I haven't decided if this is a help or hindrance to the song. (asta) nostalgic grimness sufficient to trigger the realisation that you used to be 20 years younger (diamond geezer) I think I said last year that they're just the sort of band whose album would soundtrack a Patrick Bateman killing spree. Well, I stand by that. (Ben) No five star, you stay out of mine. (Stereoboard) Decade scores so far (after 3 days). 1. The 1990s (11) -- Uh, the lord works in mysterious ways! He musta put you on this earth for all men to praise! 2= The 1960s (9) -- What can I do? You're so fancy and free! 2= The 1970s (9) -- My heart is full of love and desire for you! 4= The 1980s (8) -- Stay out of my life! I don’t wanna know the truth! 4= The 2000s (8) -- I'm starting to move on! I'm gonna say this now: your chance has come and gone! Labels: whichdecade07
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 8s.
OK, time to face facts. No longer quite the carefree little thing that I was in previous years, my ongoing "professional" duties - plus a fatal weakness for, you know, actually enjoying the occasional night in front of telly with a fine wine and my man by my side - do rather stand in the way of being able to maintain a daily service.
On the other hand, it does give all of you busy little blog-hoppers and feed-snappers a bit of breathing space, and more time to form thoughtful evaluations of the material on offer. But here I am, and here we are, and here they are: the Number Eights. 1967: Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron - Royal Guardsmen. (video) With the memory of Snoop "Doggy" Dogg's unseemly slavering still fresh in our minds, let us now turn to his predecessor in title, as immortalised by the Royal Guardsmen's dodgy stab at World War Humour. Dozens of dead soldiers! Ho ho ho!1977: Jack In the Box - Moments. 1987: Running In The Family - Level 42. (video) 1997: Barrel Of A Gun - Depeche Mode. (video) 2007: Same Jeans - The View. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. As an eleven-year old fan of the Trojan Records sound, and a Peanuts afficionado to boot, I was mightily fond of the 1973 pop-reggae re-working of "Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron" by the Hotshots, which blared out of my newly acquired Bush monaural gramophone with the smoked perspex lid, all the way through the High Summer of Glam. Some of our childhood enthusiasms stay with us through to adulthood, while others are gladly cast aside - and this song, in any version, shall forever reside in my mental Clearance Bin. Like Whizzer & Chips, The Sutherland Brothers & Quiver, and Alfreton & Mansfield Parkway, The Moments shall be forever linked with their musical other halves, The Whatnauts. Sans Whatnauts, The Moments merely feel like half the deal - and sans any genuine disco-funkiness, or even a halfway decent song, the sickly, cloying "Jack In The Box" merely feels like bargain basement fodder for the Port and Lemon set. It's at times like these that I reconnect with my inner adolescent crypto-Maoist year-zero scorched-earth Punk Rocker. Production line garbage for the brainwashed masses! With my Slaughter & the Dogs and Eater singles, I shall obliterate you all! None of which can adequately prepare me for the creeping realisation that "Running In The Family", by the hitherto irredeemable Level 42, is - whisper it if I dare - actually quite good. There, I've said it. Back in 1987, when I was in thrall to more received notions of "cool" than were good for me (for what is a man, if he cannot be judged by the cut of his 501's and the badges on his black MA1 flying jacket?), I wouldn't have given this track house room. Looking back, it's so bizarre... By 1997, former electro-pop pretty boys Depeche Mode had reached the height of their gnarly, "industrial", wannabe-Nine-Inch-Nails phase, and Dave Gahan had just begun to emerge from his own private Skaghead Hell of self-destruction. Produced by Tim "Bomb The Bass" Simenon, "Barrel of a Gun" is a harrowingly accurate reflection of his turmoil. I've never formed much of an emotional connection with the work of Depeche Mode - a band whose continued international mega-success has always bemused me - but this song comes pretty close to convincing me otherwise. "Hang on, Mike: what's this cover of "Brimful of Asha" by The Proclaimers doing in the 2007 chart?" Oh, I will have my little joke, even if it's scarcely an original one. The Lurching Around At The Friday Night Indie Disco With A Pint Of Cooking Lager Aesthetic gets far too short a shrift in some purse-lipped quarters, and I happen to find it a perfectly acceptable aesthetic - which means that, bless my soul, The View have turned in my favourite track of the bunch. Oh, come on. It's FUN. You remember FUN, dontcha? My votes: The View - 5 points. Depeche Mode - 4 points. Level 42 - 3 points. Moments - 2 points. Royal Guardsmen - 1 point. Over to you. Cartoon capers, plastic disco, yuppie funk, f**ked-up self-loathing, or Sheer Youthful Exuberance From Some Promising Youngsters Who May Go Far? The choice is yours! Running totals so far - Number 8s. 2007: Same Jeans - The View (130) Same Jeans is actually quite good; if I cared enough it could become my favourite song from this entire decade. Which probably means it's retro derivative and un-original... (Gert) For the benefit of those who didn't hear it, Mika performed a cover of this track by The View on Jo Whiley's Live Lounge on Radio 1, and he blended it with a bit of Brimful of Asha. I had already had the thought independently that they were a bit similar(as did many people, I'm sure) so it was a bit freaky hearing him do them together. (Chig) Ha, never mind Brimful of Asha, I hereby declare "Snoopy" and "Same Jeans" to be the same song! Seriously, try singing the tune of one over the backing of the other. The best thing about The View is their singer, who sounds (a) his age, (b) like he just woke up up - and indeed has been wearing the same clothes 4 days in a row, and (c) more like a Scouser than a kid from Dundee the way he mangles his vowels. "Same Jeans" is bona fide teenpop, albeit dressed in indie garb, and a deserved Top 5 single. A pity all their other songs are turgid rock, then. Enjoy your fleeting success, guys. (jeff w) Well, it's kinda cute... This will never be hit over here. The Proclaimers filled our quota for strong Scots accent songs long ago. (asta) The View are good live and I bought this too, but I suspect it's a bit ephemeral, Monkeylite. (Dymbel) A thousand rowdy folk groups probably sing similar songs in pubs nationwide every Saturday. (diamond geezer) It's got that "I'm sure I've heard it many times before" quality, even on first time listening! (Amanda) Another identikit guitar band, don't any of them have any original ideas any more? (Alan) 1997: Barrel Of A Gun - Depeche Mode (126) A tremendous piece of sleazy synth pop from a fantastically innovative band. The drugs, well yeah, but the sounds and the hips, oh the hips... (Caskared) Even at their least commercial DM were still naggingly accessible. (diamond geezer) I'm not always won over by Depeche Mode, but I love how they can produce such powerful, energetic odes to misery. (Adrian) Erm - well I can imagine that if I'd been drinking heavily I'd think it was pretty good - it's loud and has guitarry things. (JonnyB) Ooh, look! A sound effect! It's the 90s! It's the future! I can shout into a microphone and rely on the sound engineers to gloss over my total absence of talent or creativity! Crap. (Gert) Dear oh dear - way to sh*t on your magnificent 80s legacy, dude (jeff w) I have a complete blank as far as this group is concerned, total shit. (Dymbel) 1987: Running In The Family - Level 42 (107) The only one of their singles I bought, and still stands up I think, hints of Madness, but that's no bad thing - I shall be pulling out the single for a full play later. (Dymbel) What a great record. Dig that slap bass. Flea eat your heart out. (SwissToni) Listening to Level 42 is okay, but I think watching them put people off, as Mark King played his geetar with it hoisted up around his nipples. It just looked a bit stupid. (Chig) Horribly smug. If I was a bass guitar I'd slap him back. (Stereoboard) Not as good as that song where he declares that he wants to make love to someone before they drop the atom bomb. (betty) 1977: Jack In the Box - Moments (84) Was really happy when I found this on a cheap disco compilation. Yeah, Girls was a much better song but as a one time port and lemon drinker I'm not complaining. (betty) Could we not have the Clodagh Rodgers song with the same title instead? It's much more fun. (Chig) It's disgusting innuendo disguised as sickly syrup ("Jack comes out of the box" indeed!) (diamond geezer) OMG!OMG! Just Jack's got a lounge act on the Princess Carnival Cruise. (asta) Good intro but then belly-flopped. (chris) For about two seconds the Moments track kids you that it's gonna be a funky bit of 'Philly', before it goes horribly wrong. (JonnyB) I can't believe that the group who, when teamed with the Whatnauts, brought us the superb Girls could produce something as dire as this. (Adrian) 1967: Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron - Royal Guardsmen (63) Were they really allowed to sing "bloody" on the radio in the 60s? Bloody hell. (diamond geezer) Quite pleasant if you only hear it once every ten years, but the problem with stupid novelty records is how quickly they get very irritating. (Gert) I don't want to like it, but I need to know what happened to Snoopy! (Adrian) Tuneful and sweary.... excellent :) (NiC) There was a tune in there? (chris) Labels: whichdecade07
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 9s.
At this early juncture, I should explain something about the thorny matter of re-releases. In past years, I have sometimes included them (Elvis Presley's "Wooden Heart"), and sometimes excluded them (Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round"). This year, I'm definitely excluding them - and here's my reasoning.
The objective of this little stunt is to compare the music that was actually made in each decade. Therefore, older records which happened to find popularity in a different decade - most usually because of successful marketing - would only skew the sample. Exceptions can be made for remixes which noticeably change the original, and for re-releases that still belong to the same decade. This year, three singles fall foul of the re-release rule: Elvis Presley's "Suspicion" (a 1962 recording which hit the charts in 1977), and two hits from 1987: Ben E. King's "Stand By Me" and Percy Sledge's "When A Man Loves A Woman", which were both used in massively popular (and deliciously homo-erotic) TV advertisments for Levi's Jeans. To fill the gaps, I've added Number 11 and Number 12 hits to the bottom of the lists, and shuffled everything up accordingly. Now that we're all singing from the same revisionist hymn sheet, let's crack on with the Number Nines. 1967: Matthew And Son - Cat Stevens. Ah, but didn't The Artist Subsequently Known As Yusuf Islam have some great moments, before he went all soppy and sappy in the early 1970s? Boasting some terrific orchestration, "Matthew And Son" is a fine piece of slightly Kinks-esque social observation, which bemoans the plight of the Oppressed Worker and delivers a sophisticated pop take on the emergent genre of the "protest" song.1977: Daddy Cool - Boney M. (video) 1987: The Music Of The Night - Michael Crawford. (video) 1997: Remember Me - Blue Boy. (video) 2007: I Wanna Love You - Akon featuring Snoop Dogg. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. From deep and meaningful to shallow and meaningless, but in the best possible way: Boney M were rarely less than preposterous, and rarely more fun than on this, their debut hit. So good that they based a musical around it, "Daddy Cool" is production-line German disco from that eternal pop tart, Frank Farian (of whom more in a few days' time) - and as such, it sits at the opposite end of the spectrum from Giorgio Moroder's increasingly ground-breaking work with Donna Summer. "Daddy Cool" may be no "I Feel Love" - but at eight out of ten wedding discos, it's the one which is more likely to get me wiggling my pin-striped booty with the bridesmaids. Ooh Betty, Andrew Lloyd-Webber's done a whoopsie all over the Top Ten! From the musical Phantom of the Opera, Michael Crawford buries the memory of Frank Spencer with... with... ...no, sorry. We all have our blind spots, and this brand of over-egged, pseudo-operatic Musical Theatre is one of mine. Please don't make me think about it any more than I have already had to. Featuring vocal samples from Marlena Shaw's superb "Woman of the Ghetto", Blue Boy's "Remember Me" was one of those crossover club hits that just about everybody loved at the time. Perhaps it got a little over-played, and perhaps it needs laying aside for a few more years before we can all start loving it anew - for such is the fate of the "used groove" - but you can't argue with class like this, can you? I've tried to do my best by Akon & Snoop Dogg, even beefing their track up with a running beat-mix from "Remember Me", but I can already hear the howls of outrage building up in my embryonic comments box. Although bearing the DJ-friendly title "I Wanna Love You", the word "love" is mysteriously absent from the track itself - and there are no prizes for guessing which four-letter word takes its place, either. A couple of years ago, I penned a fairly detailed defence of the use of the f-word in Eamon's huge hit, "F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)" - and I'd stand by that defence today. With Akon & Snoop's "I Wanna F**k You" - a straightforward ode of dribbling lust towards a pole dancer - the issues are somewhat different. There's no subtlety here. No subversion of the apparent meaning. Not even any redeeming wit. They want to f**k her. End of. So in that case, why do I find myself becoming increasingly obsessed with this song, which I must have played half a dozen times in the past 24 hours? Maybe it's because I'm trying to absorb the shock - because, yes, having a song like this in the Top Ten does shock me. Maybe it's because I'm trying to work out, from a generational distance of at least twenty years if not thirty years, how this song is being consumed by its target audience. Do they find it funny, or horny, or thrillingly transgressive (I'll bet this is huge with 13-year old boys), or are they even listening that closely in the first place? Although this country doesn't boast much in the way of a pole-dancing culture, it's a safe bet that "I Wanna F**k You" will be blaring out thrice nightly, in every titty-bar from New York to L.A. Well, of course it would, as it handily perpetuates the fantasy that the dancers are gagging for it, and that the punters have some sort of legitmate claim over them. On the other hand, perhaps people aren't as dumb as I'm making out. Of course this track perpetuates an erotic fantasy. That's the whole point. It's a fantasy - and as such, does its existence necessarily have to be a harmful one? But then again: is it just me, or isn't there something bleak, desolate and almost mournful about the atmosphere on this track? Doesn't it exude some kind of languid, disconnected loneliness, which intensifies with each repeated listen, to the point where the tune becomes perversely enjoyable? Or maybe I'm over-analysing, and it's just a pile of lazy, offensive crap (and also Akon's second consecutive appearance in the 2007 Top 10, but I can't think of anything remotely interesting to say about that). We shall see, soon enough. My votes: Cat Stevens - 5 points. Blue Boy - 4 points. Boney M - 3 points. Akon & Snoop Dogg - 2 points. Michael Crawford - 1 point. Over to you. Votes in the comments box, please. I'm predicting an early lead for the 1960s, but what do I know? Running totals so far - Number 9s. 1977: Daddy Cool - Boney M (149) Guaranteed to get everybody up on the dance floor, even those diehards who swear Disco was the death of music. (asta) The Boney M song that sounds most similar to all other Boney M songs. (diamond geezer) It can't be easy to make good time party music that can be enjoyed by a wide variety of people and that lasts. (Amanda) 1997: Remember Me - Blue Boy (133) Breathtakingly bright beats (diamond geezer) I love this track, brings back many happy (slightly twatted) memories. (TGI Paul) I like the intro more than the song proper, but it is naggingly catchy, I'll admit. (jeff w) Loved this at the time. Still do, but my finger would be hovering above the skip button iTunes picked it, due to the overplaying you mention. (Adrian) Ooh, look I can scratch my tracks. Dull. Noise. Rubbish. (Gert) I still say that the line is "I'm the Wombat Badger Baby". (Lyle) 1967: Matthew And Son - Cat Stevens (132) Now that's how to write a tune... and topped off by intelligent lyrics too. (diamond geezer) Cat pre tuberculosis. I prefer the songs he wrote during and immediately after hospitalisation. (The ones that Mike describes as 'soppy and sappy'.) (Amanda) I grew to love this as an oldie on shows like Jimmy Savile's Old Record Club (as I was only 9 months old for this 1967 selection), but it always made me think of 'Steptoe And Son', and still does. (Chig) Terrific orchestration and delivery. No idea what's he's on about, though. (David) I'm afraid the message is subverted for me by the horns. Makes me think Matthew and Son is just a cover for CS, Sixties Superspy. (asta) I actually think this is one of his weakest, saved only by effective (if irritating) orchestration. "A cup of cold coffee and a piece of cake" - Oh please. What a devastating critique of capitalism. (Hedgie) So earnest, so soulful, so...boring. (robert) 2007: I Wanna Love You - Akon featuring Snoop Dogg (65) I'm no great fan of Akon - his contribution to the Stefani record works quite well, as a sort of counterpoint - but he's not what I'd call a great frontman. However, the kids upstairs on the buses in Hackney love to have him as their ringtones, I gather. Especially the girls. So I'll put my indifference down to my age. Certainly I'm not hearing what you're hearing in this, Mike. But it gets a few bonus points for lack of subtlety. (jeff w) I'm a bit embarrassed by how much I liked this. Call it mid-life crisis. But the video clinched it. (z) I was shocked at how much I actually liked this. Nasty. (Hedgie) This isn't bad. I think I must be getting desensitised to these sort of lyrics because they seem to be everywhere nowadays, unfortunately. (betty) The *edited* version of this is on the radio ALL THE TIME. I asked my goddaughters about it--they don't care about the lyrics, they just like the tune. (asta) Gosh! Swear words! Shock! Envelope pushing! Must be ever so titillating for the average pubescent primary school child. I'm afraid I'm bit older than that and I can't think of a single reason why I would want to f**k someone with such an annoying nasal voice. (Gert) Is combining fan bases the the only way songs get popular these days? (Stereoboard) Seems incredibly unerotic for a song about sexual desire. (Amanda) Everything I dislike about lazy rap summed up in one aimless dirge. (diamond geezer) Vile, vile, vile. Absolutely vile. I bet Akon and Snoop have really small cocks. (Chig) 1987: The Music Of The Night - Michael Crawford (61) Some people love ALW, some hate him. I just think he's mediocrely pleasant forgettable derivative mental chewing gum. I like Michael Crawford as Frank Spencer, but the guy can't sing - he's growling his way through this. (Gert) I thought his voice, which could sound good, sounded strained and overstretched here. And 'mewsic' clinched it. (z) Now I love musical theatre as much as the next old queen, but this is too theatrical, too luvviefied in its delivery. There are better versions of this song, but I suspect you're not going to believe me if I push you in the direction of Michael Ball, so we'll leave it there. (Chig) There are some great musical theatre voices out there, Mike ain't one of them. If I sang this way my vocal coach used to bellow at me "BAGPIPING! You're BAGPIPING BOY!!!" Awful, awful voice, why did anyone ever allow him to make records???? (Alan) I'd give it minus points if I could. Phantom is a no-go zone for me. It caused some friction at the height of its popularity when otherwise sane friends would try to talk me into going to NY or Toronto to see Phantom. I eventually learned not to say 'I'd rather be the pipecleaner for the city sewer system.' (asta) "Grasp it, Sense it, Tremulous and tender" - yeah, my hands around your throat with any luck mate. (betty) I blame Thatcher. (chris) Labels: whichdecade07
Monday, February 12, 2007
Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? - Year 5 - the Number 10s.
Oh, is it that time of the year again? Why, I do declare it is! Let joy be unbounded, as we gird our loins for Year Five of our seven year quest: Which Decade Is Tops For Pops?
Before we start, here's a brief introduction for newcomers. Over the next couple of weeks, we shall be examining the Top Ten best-selling UK singles from this week (my birthday week, as it happens) in 1967, 1977, 1987, 1997 and 2007. Today, we shall be looking at the five singles at Number 10; tomorrow, we look at the Number 9s... and so on until we reach the Number 1s, at the end of next week. On each day, I shall be publishing a short medley of the five songs under examination. Your job is to listen to the medley, to arrange the five songs in descending order of merit, and to leave your vote in the comments box. I'll be totting up the points for each day, and adding them all together, using a simple scoring method which is frankly too tedious to bother you with at this early stage. You'll soon pick things up as you go along. Suffice it to say that at the end of the ten days, one of our decades - the Slinky Sixties, the Sexy Seventies, the Excessive Eighties, the Naughty Nineties or the Neglected Noughties - will be crowned this year's winner. Last year, 1976 brought it home for the Seventies, who duly notched up their second victory in four years. Can the Top 10 from February 1977 work similar wonders - or will we finally see some big points for those two perennially scorned decades, the Nineties and the Noughties, neither of whom have even so much as placed in the Top Three? Are we all ready, then? OK, eyes down (and indeed eyes sideways, as we've got video links for the first time this year, Youtube be praised) ... it's the Number Tens! 1967: Mellow Yellow - Donovan. (video) Not too shoddy an opening selection, is it? Listening to Donovan's gentle whimsy, a small window opens onto the Sixties' Next Big Thing: hippy psychedelia, which would hit its historic peak over the "Summer of Love" in five months' time. The first clues are there - the wacky surrealism, the langourous nonchalance, the "anything goes" attitude - but at the same time, there's not much of the overtly counter-cultural on display here. "Mellow Yellow" might take us on a dandified strut down Carnaby Street or the King's Road, but we'll search in vain for a signpost to Haight-Ashbury.1977: Chanson D'Amour - Manhattan Transfer. 1987: I Love My Radio - Taffy. (video) 1997: Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub - Apollo Four Forty. (video) 2007: The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani featuring Akon. (video) Listen to a short medley of all five songs. Ten years on, and the next soi-disant Youth Revolution was swiftly gathering momentum - but looking at the February 1977 singles chart, there was no evidence whatsoever that punk rock was on the way. Never mind the bollocks - here's Manhattan Transfer, stalwarts of the peak time TV variety show, with their biggest UK hit - and also possibly one of their downright naffest musical moments. Displaying little of the slick sophistication of their best material, "Chanson D'Amour" is well-executed but swiftly irritating swayalong schlock for the Sing Something Simple generation, whose main redeeming feature is to summon up images of a Morecambe and a Wise, gleefully hamming it up to the ra-da-da-da-dahs. Another ten years on, and with yet another musical paradigm shift waiting in the wings, most of the country's gay clubs were happy to continue ploughing the same old Eurodisco furrows. Why bother learning how to jack your body, when you could simply pass the poppers and party like an eternal 1983? Within this increasingly impoverished cultural cul de sac, walloping belters such as Taffy's "Midnight Radio" (to give it its correct original title) were as manna from heaven - and this one duly ruled every gay dancefloor in the country for weeks on end, stretching well back into late 1986. However, when it came to promoting "Midnight Radio" as mainstream chart crossover material, a hideous compromise was made. Since BBC Radio One (The Nation's Favourite!) actually stopped broadcasting at midnight, handing its airwaves back over to Radio Two (Brian Matthew! Sheila Tracey's Truckers Hour!) for the wee small hours, none of its DJ's were likely to promote a song with lyrics like "Wo-oh, my guy, my DJ after midnight, I love my radio, my midnight radio". Instead, an absolute clunker of a re-worked chorus was forced upon the UK singles market: "I love my radio, my deejay's radio." Big Yuck! Sacrilege! A further decade down the line, and the musical shifts that Chicago House had set in motion were now at their popular, commercial peak. Dance culture was mainstream, and ubiquitous, and yet to harden over into the diminishing returns of Ibiza Trance, which were to deal it an almost fatal blow towards the end of the decade. And so it was that interesting, well-crafted, non-formulaic, genre-blurring tunes such as Apollo Four Forty's Van Halen-sampling "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub" got a crack at the Top Ten - complete with one of the few instances of jungle/drum-and-bass rhythm patterns selling in large quantities, even if Apollo Four Forty themselves were anything but a jungle/drum-and-bass act. Covering broadly similar ground to The Prodigy, one of the biggest dance acts in the country at this stage, "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub" stands up remarkably well. And so, with a weary sigh, we turn to the singles chart of 2007 for the first time, ready for whatever half-assed pap that the Noughties might throw at us - but stop! Wait! Reconsider! After a slow ten year slide in relevance, during which genuine popularity was routinely overshadowed by efficient but meaningless target marketing, newly liberalised regulations are already re-establishing the Top Forty as a genuine barometer of taste. With most new entries now falling outside the Top Ten, the "climber" is back, and we are once again seeing those gratifyingly smooth rises and falls which are a more accurate reflection of the way that we fall in and out of love with our favourite tunes of the day. None of which offers much by way of defence for Gwen Stefani's latest effort: a slight piece of retro-tinged pop fluff, with shades of Madonna's "True Blue" and faint echoes of the soda fountain, which falls some way short of the standards set by her enjoyable run of hits from a couple of years back. Cute but forgettable - and I promise you that we'll hear better. My votes: Donovan - 5 points. Taffy - 4 points. Apollo Four Forty - 3 points. Manhattan Transfer - 2 points. Gwen Stefani - 1 point. Over to you. Please leave your votes in the comments, starting with your favourite and working downwards. No tied positions are allowed, and all five songs must be ranked. You'll find me very strict on that. And there's one more earnest plea, which I make at this stage every year: when casting your votes, please try to rank them in terms of merit, and not just in terms of subjective nostalgia appeal. OK, let's go... Running totals so far - Number 10s. 1967: Mellow Yellow - Donovan (147) Solid, superior and sweet (like the very best custard) (diamond geezer) it's quite threatening with that just too slow military beat (Amanda) crap hippy whimsy, this is no "Sunshine Superman" (loomer) 1997: Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub - Apollo Four Forty (114) Makes good use of archetypal Van Halen riff but rather disposable, forgettable late 90s dance offering.. not as good as "Stop The Rock" and their Status Quo lift (loomer) Drum 'n' bass for ageing greboes. (betty) Not their best moment (that would be Pain in Any Language, with Billy Mckenzie) (David) This seems to have aged very badly. I quite liked it at the time, but it was always impossible to dance to without looking like you're being electrocuted. (Chig) 1987: I Love My Radio - Taffy (111) What do you mean I can't vote based on subjective nostalgia? (but this stills whops the competition) (diamond geezer) Entirely lovable. Big favourite are these synth sounds that end up somewhere between "poor attempt at cello" and "neutered electric guitar" and that are therefore great. (Koen) Everything I hate in Eighties music (Amanda) 1977: Chanson D'Amour - Manhattan Transfer (98) A simple yet sophisticated tune. Key to good song-writing. Sung by people who can sing. (Gert) True kitsch has got to be worth something. 'Joo tadoor' indeed. (Amanda) I've just come back from Brussels where I went to an Italian restaurant that had a live chanteuse. This reminds me of her, except she was better. The silly rat-tat-tat-tat-tat thing sounds like something Eric Morecambe used to do... (Will) They were all left handed, if I remember correctly. What an annoying faint vibrato in the lead singer's voice. (z) goodness, even my ingrained nostalgia for the 70s can't save this. Those creepy accordions, that overcooked Piaf warble! *shivers* (jeff w) couldn't take it for even one minute (robert) 2007: The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani featuring Akon (70) Fairground bubblegum (all too easily popped) (diamond geezer) Fluff, with cotton candy and extra caramel. urrrrgh. (asta) It's great driving, cooking, cleaning music. (jo) Well done for sparing us the painful Akon bit, which has probably gained it more points than it deserves, but still... it's no pop classic. (Chig) I'm not sure about that yodelling at the beginning of the clip. It's nothing special, over-produced to hide thin tinny voices with no substance or colour. (Gert) Tired. Barely making it through the motions. (Hedgie) what the hell happened to make her this boring? (Alan) I'm depressed that I even have to give this one a point at all. (Lyle) Labels: whichdecade07
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