Madonna - London Earls Court - July 6th 2001

Madonna - London Earls Court - July 6th 2001 - Part 2

Madonna takes to the stage - a tiny figure, chiefly recognisable by platinum blonde hair and the tartan kilt that I'd seen in photos. We're too far back to make out her facial expressions, and the video screens are no help - too small, too high, and mostly obscured from view. But still....it's Madonna! She's really there! Eek!

Although the opening song is slow, the crowd around us remain standing, many on their seats. This threatens our view, but doesn't quite block it. Anyhow, I'm still pre-occupied. Can we get away with being here? Do we look out of place? Bob and I take positions apart from each other, either side of the gangway and at different heights, and try and blend into the crowd. Luckily there are some others also standing in the gangway, for whatever reason. The ushers don't seem to be around. Oh shit - an usherette is striding purposefully up towards us. She's right next to me. I maintain my inscrutable expression and gaze intently at the stage. She leans into the crowd to my right, shines a torch at the people standing on their seats, and orders them to get down. They swiftly comply, and the usherette is gone. Bob and I exchange glances. So far, so good...

"Drowned World" has merged into "Impressive Instant", as previewed on the BBC1 documentary at the weekend. "Candy Perfume Girl" sees Madge strapping a guitar on and doing the whole Courtney Love bit, thrashing away at her "axe" as the song gets punkier, and screaming "F--- you, motherf---ers!" amidst the closing squall of feedback. This is all well and good, but I've not really settled into the show yet, and although "Beautiful Stranger" (complete with Austin Powers video clip) gets me jigging around, it's all a bit forced. Bob seems to be getting well into things though - and the friendly-faced and fit dude to his left appears to be his new best friend. Attaboy!

About halfway through "Ray Of Light", during an instrumental section, I'm suddenly aware of the most stupendous choreography taking place on stage. There are backflips, cartwheels, somersaults, whatever - the whole thing timed with awesome precision. It's my first jaw-dropping, "oh my God" moment - so electrifying that it cuts right through all the crap in my mind, making me properly involved in the show for the first time. A grin spreads over my face. Maybe we did have dodgy tickets, but what the hell - we've made it, we're here, we're watching Madonna, and she's fantastic. The crowd has settled into fixed positions by now, and I climb back up to stand beside Bob. He introduces me to his new friend Mark (phwooar!) and we shake hands, beaming at each other like mashed-up clubbers in the middle of a dancefloor.

My new mood sustains me through the comparative dip of "Paradise (Not For Me)" - not a particular favourite from the "Music" album - and into "Frozen". Madonna starts the song centre stage in a black wig and black kimono whose arms stretch right out to cover the entire width of the stage. The robe is soon shed, leaving another oriental style outfit underneath. Madge is in fine voice here, and indeed throughout the whole show. The thin, if endearingly limited, nasal squeak of earlier years has been replaced by a fuller, more womanly, more expressive vocal range. You also get the feeling that she has nothing left to prove. On earlier tours, you could feel the effort as she strained to reach ever higher standards - of singing, dancing, artistry and spectacle. This time, it's more as if she's confirming her status at the top of her profession - we already expect her to deliver the goods. Well OK, the guitar playing is something new...so maybe the girl's still striving to improve herself after all.

Anyway, we're now clearly into the "Eastern" section of the show. "Nobody's Perfect" signals my toilet break. And not just me - the Gents is almost empty when I arrive, but a minute later there are queues building up behind me. Back in for "Mer Girl", which is Bob's cue to make the same visit. As soon as he's gone, "Mer Girl" is cut short to make way for "Sky Fits Heaven" and the next "oh my God" moment. Madonna and her dancers have become attached to wires hanging from the ceiling, which enable them to execute some breathtaking moves - clearly based on the martial arts scenes in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". They're leaping off pillars, flying through the air and pirouetting down to the ground, while staging a heavily stylised mock combat. It's utterly phenomenal stuff which has the crowd gasping, laughing and cheering in the same breath. Then we're back into the concluding section of "Mer Girl", upon which Bob returns clutching a couple of beers for us. He doesn't know what's been happening. If he hadn't bought the beers, he would have caught some of the routine. I start enthusing, but quickly decide to play down what I've just seen.

A complete change of mood next: the stage clears, and Madonna is left alone with her guitar for a simple rendition of her Song For Guy ("I Deserve It"). I love this song, and realise that this is about as heartfelt and emotionally direct as we're ever going to get from her. I take a stroll down the gangway until the right hand video screen comes into view - finally giving me a view of her face. OK, so that's what she looks like. Back up top I go...

An instrumental interlude (sounding like a dance remix of "What It Feels Like For A Girl"), before "Don't Tell Me" ushers in the "girlie fun" section of the show. The song is another favourite, and it's good to see Madge and her dancers recreating the feel of the sexy video - all cowboy gear and big Stetsons (available in the foyer, a snip at 80 quid!). There's even a stuffed bronco for her to ride. The video screen towards the back of centre stage has been displaying all sorts of stuff during the show, but now it briefly relays some of the live action on stage. Wow, we can see her face again! The crowd love this...

"Human Nature" starts up, and Madge executes a nifty onstage strip, revealing a stars & stripes boob tube & hotpants and throwing herself into an joyfully energetic performance which defies you not to describe it as "raunchy". This is a frequently overlooked single from the severely under-rated "Bedtime Stories" album - her comparative "cult appeal" period before the critical and commercial renaissance of "Ray Of Light". I'm delighted she's performing it, and intrigued that she still feels the need, as it's such a time-specific defence of the whole "Erotica" / "Sex" period. Funny how potentially narrow songs like this can sometimes take on an inexplicably wider resonance - The Clash's "Complete Control" being another case in point.

Isn't this typical? Madonna is performing and I'm busily deconstructing and theorising when I could just be lapping up the whole glorious spectacle instead. She does this to people! Anyhow, it's time to concentrate, as she adopts a daft Dolly Parton accent and goes into a lengthy introduction to a new number, "The Funny Song", This is a daft comedy country & western pastiche, with lyrics that would no doubt be hilarious - if I could make them out properly. There's plenty of laughter from down the front, but our corner of Earls Court at least is not blessed with the crispest of acoustics. I give up and head for the toilet and bar.

"Secret" and "Gone" pass by amiably but unmemorably. The stage empties, and the orchestral strains of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" blare out, sounding an incongruous - and frankly slightly worrying - note. I'm not in a Lloyd Webber mood, shall we say. Thankfully, this is just another costume change interlude, ushering us into the "Hispanic section". "What It Feels Like For A Girl" is performed in Spanish (which is nice), leading us into - gasp! - one of her old hits! At last! "La Isla Bonita" it is - re-arranged with a percussive, flamenco rhythm which actually breathes new life into the song. The staging is lovely - a crowd of people gathered round a corner of the stage, variously strumming guitars and tapping on percussion instruments, giving the effect of a spontaneous jam on a Cadiz street corner on a hot sticky night. "Atmospheric" is the word I'm looking for here.

And (almost) finally, the big one. The opening chords to "Holiday", and Earls Court just erupts. No other moment in the past two hours comes close in terms of audience reaction. Madge rips off her black wig, the blonde locks spill out, and at last we're all partying together. Half the people around me are holding up their mobiles for friends at home. Fit Mark speaks into his mobile, then shouts something into Bob's ear. Bob nudges me. "Amma's been evicted from the Big Brother house!" There is something fabulously surreal about this moment. Ain't the modern world something else?

It's a long version of "Holiday", and a couple of times the backing track drifts off into Stardust's "Music Sounds Better With You". Fantastic! I ask you, what other artist would be cool enough to cover one of their own bootleg mixes? At this point, I'd guess that all of us would be ready for a sequence of old hits - Vogue, Express Yourself, Like A Prayer...but we've all done our homework and we know there's only one more song.

"Music" it is then, and we give it all we've got. Some more cleverness as the backing track incorporates snatches of Kraftwerk's "Tranz Europe Express", but I have to say this escapes my notice. During this final number, the central video screen relays a constant stream of images of Madonna from all her previous and current incarnations, probably at a rate of 3 or 4 a second. It's engrossing, as I seem to recognise every single one. A multitude of radically different images of the same woman, who has played with these endless re-inventions more thoroughly and effectively than any other performer I can think of - yes, including Bowie. You'd have to look to the art world, and specifically to Cindy Sherman, to find anyone comparable in this respect.

And during this montage, something else extraordinary happens. The images on the screen are so strong that you have to remind yourself to look back at the little stick figure and her dancers jiggling around on stage. In fact, the video images seem to be far more "the real Madonna" than the woman herself, competing for your attention down there. Hmm, the real Madonna. What is she like? On the basis of this show, we haven't any more of a clue than before we came in. It has been a tightly scripted stage spectacle with no room for any spontaneity whatsoever. She has barely talked to us, and has made no attempt to form the kind of intimate rapport with the crowd that someone like Robbie Williams would have done. But while Robbie's stock in trade is his perceived "reality", Madonna makes no pretence at being "one of us". Like the true 80s survivor that she is, the image is still everything, and for all the honest self-examination of some of her recent lyrics, the image is all we can really hope to get. But who else these days could lay on an event of such thrilling artifice?

None of this encore nonsense, then. A video clip of Ali G announces that "She ain't coming back on the stage, y'know." We file out, and Bob casually mentions to Mark that we're heading off to the Two Brewers in Clapham (a popular gay local with dancefloor and late licence). Mark says that he's staying in Clapham that night, so he'll probably see us down there. Hey, could this be a result?!

Postscript. On the train back up to Nottingham the next day, one of the friendly dykes spots us on her way to the smoking carriage, and stops for a chat. Her daughter was one of the people next to us who had been led away just before the show. It turns out that they were indeed reseated, and to a better position, but at the cost of missing the first ten minutes of the show. They were understandably furious and were going to take the matter further. "I'll send her down to talk you", the mother said. But we never saw any of them again.

part 1

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